Control How You React to "No"

Why does rejection hurt us so? Think back to when you were a small child and the, almost knee jerk, reaction to hearing the word "no" from our parents resulted in screaming tantrums and sulking. For many of us, this child-like reaction to rejection still exists in our minds even though we temper our outward behavior. As a sales professional in the working world, how often has your inner reaction to hearing the word no from a prospect been to stamp your feet and scream and shout in protest.

Rejection can be a debilitating force that drains the precious energy sales professionals need to go from one sales call to the next. It can be a terrible thing to hear the word no after weeks of preparation and effort but what can be even worse is our chosen reaction to it. If you allow a rejection to fester on your mind, to invade your thoughts and lessen your spirit, you experience low productivity, poor results and limited rewards. You must control the reaction you have to rejection in order to succeed in the sales field.

Take the following example: Marva has a new network marketing opportunity in which her success will rely heavily on her ability to recruit friends, family and associates. She has held numerous home parties that have given her cause for concern. Friends and family say they will be there as do associates and work colleagues. But week after week her parties suffer poor attendance. Finally, when she approaches a friend who said she would be at the last party, she gets a very harsh rejection followed by a "and please don’t ask me again!"

Marva has a very emotional reaction to this rejection. Her friend of many years has just been very rude to her and left her feeling quite embarrassed. Her inner dialogue sounds like this: how dare she speak to me that way? She is supposed to be my friend. Well, I guess I won’t have many of them left if they all feel the same way but just haven’t wanted to tell me. That is even more embarrassing knowing they have probably been talking about me behind my back. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten into one of these network marketing companies. Now I am going to be a laughing stock among my friends. A few of them tried to tell me that these things never work. How foolish I must look.

In the few minutes after receiving that harsh rejection from a friend, Marva went from a confident businesswoman excited about what this opportunity could do for her, to someone filled with doubts and on the verge of giving up. Not only did she now think badly of the business venture but she also thought badly of herself. Marva now cares more about what her friends may be saying about her behind her back than the possibility that she could actually turn this venture into a success.

Action step: write out on a 3x5 index card the question "who am I?" Answer this question with a list of positive attributes of which you are very proud. The next time you are in a difficult situation, read the list out loud to remind yourself of your greatest and most notable qualities.

I call this strategy Logical Separation. It is a powerful way to make a distinction between the rejection you must experience on a regular basis and your worth as a human being. We are bound to react when we hear the word no but we must learn to control that reaction. To succeed in this field you must be able to approach each new sales situation with confidence, determination and great energy. When you learn to control the way you react to rejection, you will diminish its ability to wreak havoc on your sales career.

Alvin Day is a Sales Training and Personal Empowerment coach who has helped many sales professionals reach and exceed their goals. For more on Alvin Day’s Sales Training tools and resources visit www.theultimatesalesmanual.com.