Contacting Your Ex Boyfriend - Rules of Thumb

Winning back your boyfriend requires time, patience, and a whole lot of nerve. If you can't keep a level head, chances are you'll make some very big mistakes that could cost you any chance of getting back together. If your ex boyfriend was the one who ended the relationship, you'll need to give him time. He's not going to date you again until one very important thing happens: your ex wants you back. Understanding this is easy... getting him to that point is not. You'll have to make your ex miss you before he even thinks about asking you out again, and this requires that you disappear for a while.

Relationships can be complicated, but your break up doesn't have to be that way. Keep it simple by eliminating all contact with your ex boyfriend right after he breaks up with you. This is best for both of you: it gives him the opportunity to genuinely miss you, while it gives you the chance to clear him out of your head. Getting away from the pain and hopelessness associated with losing your boyfriend is one of the most important things you can do after a break up. Console yourself with the knowledge that you're going to eventually get back together with him, but temper it with the understanding that it's not going to happen overnight. Time heals all wounds, including your break up.

Many women make the mistake of trying to keep in touch with their ex-boyfriends right away. Not only is this bad for your own sanity, it's even worse in the eyes of your ex. Right after he ends it he doesn't want to see you... period. If you did run into him, he'd feel awkward and weird around you - even if he didn't act that way. And the "let's be friends" thing? Let's be real for a minute. If your ex fed you that old line you should realize that's not what he wants. Either he wants to keep you hanging on (in case he changes his mind) or he's looking for a way of letting you down easy. Do you think he really wants to hang out as friends? Maybe rent a movie, go to a museum, shake hands goodnight? Of course not. So don't fall into that mindset where you're hoping for such an arrangement. It won't help win your boyfriend back, and it's only setting yourself up for a big fall.

The contact ex boyfriend rulebook has only one rule: don't call him. Don't email him, don't text-message him, and don't get in touch with your ex for as long as you possibly can. If you manage to pull off a squeaky clean break, there are good odds he's going to call you. After not hearing from you at all, your ex is going to be dying to know what you've been up to.

Does this mean your boyfriend wants you back? Probably not at the moment, no. Still, it's a big step along the path toward getting back in his head. You might think being in constant touch with him is the best way to stay fresh on his mind, but exactly the opposite is true. In fact, the more you talk to or email your ex boyfriend, the more freedom he'll feel to do what he wants. You're still "around", so he doesn't ever have to worry about losing you - as a friend, a pen-pal, or whatever limbo he assigns you to.

Once you've accomplished breaking contact, your ex boyfriend will suddenly wonder what happened to you. One thing you may not realize is that every guy who breaks up with you expects to hear from you again. And when he doesn't? He'll be very curious as to what you're up to. Even if he acts like he wants nothing to do with you, he's still glancing over his shoulder to see what's going on. If you're completely gone, it freaks him out. It's nice to know you're still there in case he wants to open the door to the relationship again. Not seeing the door at all is very disconcerting to your ex.

After a period of time, you'll need to get back in touch. Knowing when and how to contact your ex again is extremely important. You can't do anything foolish, like show up somewhere you wouldn't usually be just to bump into him. You can't very well call him out of the blue, either. Texting or email him at this point is too impersonal: it must be a phone call or a face-to-face meeting. One good idea is to comb your house for anything important he might've left behind. Maybe he left some clothes, or a bunch of DVD's... you could easily call him up and tell him you found these things while you were cleaning. Does he want them? See what he suggests in the way of a meeting. Either he'll swing by your place, or he may suggest something innocent and casual - like lunch or coffee.

There are many ways other of making contact with your ex again in order to win him back. For the complete step-by-step guide on fixing your breakup, be sure to visit Get Back An Ex Boyfriend!