Concrete Angel - I Starved When I Was a Child
About a girl whose past has come to haunt her.
I packed up my things slowly until my fellow classmates were gone. I slung my ratty old bag over my shoulder and approached my teacher. Mrs. Turbler was shuffling papers around aimlessly until I cleared my throat. She looked up startled, but as soon as she saw my face she smiled and walked out around her desk to meet me.
"So... what made you change your mind?" Mrs. Turbler asked.
"Well...." I told her all about the night before, and how she pushed my last button. And when I explained my hand she nodded in understanding. She seemed to know that I would be running back to her. That annoyed me a bit, but I pushed that aside and got down to business. "So now I need your help running away. Will you?" I looked up at her. She folded frail old hands. She looked like she was about to cry. She sniffled and came up to me and hugged me. I haven't been hugged in....well I can't remember the last time I've been hugged. It felt so...so foreign to me. Like as if a lady was speaking Spanish and asked me where the bathroom was, I would just stand there and do nothing, but have a dumbfounded expression on my face. And that expression was the same one I was wearing right now. I didn't know what to do so I just stood there, and waited as Mrs. turbler stained my shirt with tears. My expression pretty much looked like this: :-S. Yea, I know its pretty stupid. Mrs. Turbler finally pulled away, from what seems like and eternity. She wiped her puffy eyes and looked at me like I was her long lost daughter.
"Oh honey, you shouldn't even have to ask! Of course I will help you!" Mrs. Turbler exclaimed in excitement.
"Uh..." I laughed awkwardly," great, where do we start?" I asked.
"Well, first let's start with a batch of homemade cookies I made this morning!" Mrs. Turbler said and hurried to her lunch sack. I was still pretty much stunned. Not just because of the hug, but...the fact that she can make cookies in the morning, too. I barley have time to eat nonetheless. I shoved the thought away, and waited for Mrs. Turbler.
"Heavens to Betsy!" exclaimed Mrs. Turbler.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Well I can't seem to find my famous chocolate chip cookies! Barnacles."
"Well that's not so bad, we can still work-"
"No no no no, child we need to get some sugar in our tummies, sugar is our thinking food! Come with me, I'm taking us to the nearest doughnut store."
Doughnut? That word seems so foreign to me. I don't think I've ever had one of those before.
"You don't have to-"
"Oh honey, but I insist! You must at least have some sugar in you."
She had a stern look upon her face. I knew I wasn't going to win.
"Alright, I give up. But after we get to the doughnut store, can we please work out a plan?"
"Yes. I suppose so. Come on let's get moving before the school closes!" She pulled me along to her Ford car. She drove me to Stacey's Doughnuts. Surprisingly it's really close to school; it was less than a mile. When we got to the doughnut store, there were so many people from school, I lost count. When it was our turn to order I couldn't decide which doughnut to choose. So I asked Mrs. Turbler which was the most common doughnut picked. She simply said glazed. So I got one of those. We took it to go and went back to school. I got to admit, the doughnut smelled so good in the car I just wanted to attack it. But I had to remind myself about my manners and I refrained from making a mess out of her leather seats. When we got to her classroom I dove for the white bag-literally-. When Mrs. Turbler noticed me stuffing my face she frowned. When I finished my doughnut, and wiped the clear sugar from my face, I started to walk toward Mrs. Turbler.
"Doesn't your mother feed you?" Mrs. Turbler asked. And once again, she sent me into another flashback. This one was when I was seven. It's when I should've died. And we moved because of it
________________________________________
I was sitting in the lunch tables without a lunch, watching the other boys and girls eat their lunch. It made me even hungrier as usual. I just stared hopelessly at my empty lunch bag. I couldn't take it any longer. All of my classmates were chattering and munching on their sandwiches without a care in the world. It made me mad. So mad I decided to get up and leave. But when I got up I felt nauseous. My head started spinning, and my stomach started to lurch. All of a sudden my sight started fading. I saw all different colors, like a rainbow. But suddenly the rainbow was gone. Like most things in my life, they leave me with black coldness and bitterness.
* * *
The sirens blared in my ears. My stomach hurt so badly. I could hardly breathe; I could hear the faint beeps of the heart monitor. I fluttered my eyes open, just to see a man in white leaning over me.
"She's awake!" said the man in front of me. He had brown eyes and coal black hair. Another man came into the picture. He too had brown eyes and black hair. The two looked almost identical. But man number two had a beard.
"She is...for now." Said the man with a beard.
For now?
And again everything went black
* * *
I could subconsciously hear the faint beeping of the monitor...again. I tried to open my eyes, but they were trapped shut. I fought with myself to open my eyes. But when I did I saw a bright white light. I was so afraid so I shut my eyes tight again. This time I opened my eyes very slow like. My eyes focused on the nurse in the pink floral scrubs. She was fixing my I.V. I looked around. I was in a hospital.
"Oh! You're awake! I'll go get the doctor." The nurse quickly hurried out the door. I was just sitting there staring at the floral wallpaper. I practically mesmerized the whole room when the doctor finally came in. The doctor was pale, had brown gelled hair, wore a lab coat, and held a clipboard in my hand which I guessed had all of my information on.
"Hello...", he looked at the clipboard, " Madison, my name is Dr. Rawson."
I lifted my hand slightly, but it took up every last bit of energy I had. I hadn't noticed how weak I was until now. Dr. Rawson chuckled at my failed attempt to wave.
"Don't strain yourself little one. You should just try talking from now on. You are still weak."
Way to point out the obvious. But all I did was nod. But that hurt my head.
"Okay." I said instead of nodding....again. My throat was a little scratchy. The doctor turned around to study my chart. "Umm...Mr. Rawson?" I asked.
"Yes?"
I said the one thing that was on my mind since I woke up. "What happened...exactly? How did I get here?"
"Well according to your teacher, you were about to get up at lunch time, and when you got up you fainted. She thought it was because of the heat. But when we took you in the paramedics, your pulse stopped. So we had to re-start your heart. You gave us quite a fright. You're a tough little trooper aren't you? Anyway, then we put you in a few x-rays and well...we don't think you fainted because of the heat. Madison, have you been trying to starve yourself? We couldn't find much food in your stomach."
I panicked. I really don't know how to cook food. And Laura never feeds me. So technically, Laura is the one who starves me. But I can't tell him that, or he'll take her away. And they'll send me to some other freak family. I don't know what to say.
"Ummm... sort of."
"Well, Madison you can't ever starve yourself. For now on I am going to prescribe you...food." He said as he scribbled on the clipboard. Well that's a shock. But all I did was acknowledge his proscription. I mean he is the one with the degree. But seriously that's like telling a child "you need to wipe your butt after you go pee" I mean seriously, how can you be more obvious?
"Well, have a good day Madison." The young doctor said. He was about to leave when he stopped I the door jamb. "Oh I forgot. Your mother will be here in an hour. Ok?"
Awe shit. Yes I cuss and I'm only seven. You got a problem? I was practically raised by wolves! Gosh you can never catch a break in this world can you? I hesitated. Great just, great. Laura is coming, and she is probably going to re arrange my face.
"Umm....yea." I said and the young doctor left. How could I say it was okay? It was not okay! It wasn't even fine! It was horrible! No not horrible...it's abominable.
ONE HOUR LATER
I was fuming in the hospital bed, thinking of what the awful things she would do to me. I knew I was going to dread the moment when Laura walks through that very white door. And lucky for me. That was right this second. Laura just stood a bout a foot into the room folding her arms. She just smirked evilly. It was her famous smirk, and that smirk is a giveaway that I would wish I was never born.
________________________________________
For the first time I actually stopped my flashback. I had to stop the flashback, or I would start crying and Mrs. Turbler would get so scared just like last time. And I just couldn't bear the shocked and scared face she gave me. She looked at me like...like I was some sort of... of demented animal. I just realized where I was. I was in Mrs. Turbler's classroom, under the discipline desk - again - but I wasn't crying this time, I was shaking. I looked up. And sure enough I saw Mrs. Turbler with the same expression she had on the other day.
"No," I said shakily, "She never fed me." I said brutally.
"So... what made you change your mind?" Mrs. Turbler asked.
"Well...." I told her all about the night before, and how she pushed my last button. And when I explained my hand she nodded in understanding. She seemed to know that I would be running back to her. That annoyed me a bit, but I pushed that aside and got down to business. "So now I need your help running away. Will you?" I looked up at her. She folded frail old hands. She looked like she was about to cry. She sniffled and came up to me and hugged me. I haven't been hugged in....well I can't remember the last time I've been hugged. It felt so...so foreign to me. Like as if a lady was speaking Spanish and asked me where the bathroom was, I would just stand there and do nothing, but have a dumbfounded expression on my face. And that expression was the same one I was wearing right now. I didn't know what to do so I just stood there, and waited as Mrs. turbler stained my shirt with tears. My expression pretty much looked like this: :-S. Yea, I know its pretty stupid. Mrs. Turbler finally pulled away, from what seems like and eternity. She wiped her puffy eyes and looked at me like I was her long lost daughter.
"Oh honey, you shouldn't even have to ask! Of course I will help you!" Mrs. Turbler exclaimed in excitement.
"Uh..." I laughed awkwardly," great, where do we start?" I asked.
"Well, first let's start with a batch of homemade cookies I made this morning!" Mrs. Turbler said and hurried to her lunch sack. I was still pretty much stunned. Not just because of the hug, but...the fact that she can make cookies in the morning, too. I barley have time to eat nonetheless. I shoved the thought away, and waited for Mrs. Turbler.
"Heavens to Betsy!" exclaimed Mrs. Turbler.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Well I can't seem to find my famous chocolate chip cookies! Barnacles."
"Well that's not so bad, we can still work-"
"No no no no, child we need to get some sugar in our tummies, sugar is our thinking food! Come with me, I'm taking us to the nearest doughnut store."
Doughnut? That word seems so foreign to me. I don't think I've ever had one of those before.
"You don't have to-"
"Oh honey, but I insist! You must at least have some sugar in you."
She had a stern look upon her face. I knew I wasn't going to win.
"Alright, I give up. But after we get to the doughnut store, can we please work out a plan?"
"Yes. I suppose so. Come on let's get moving before the school closes!" She pulled me along to her Ford car. She drove me to Stacey's Doughnuts. Surprisingly it's really close to school; it was less than a mile. When we got to the doughnut store, there were so many people from school, I lost count. When it was our turn to order I couldn't decide which doughnut to choose. So I asked Mrs. Turbler which was the most common doughnut picked. She simply said glazed. So I got one of those. We took it to go and went back to school. I got to admit, the doughnut smelled so good in the car I just wanted to attack it. But I had to remind myself about my manners and I refrained from making a mess out of her leather seats. When we got to her classroom I dove for the white bag-literally-. When Mrs. Turbler noticed me stuffing my face she frowned. When I finished my doughnut, and wiped the clear sugar from my face, I started to walk toward Mrs. Turbler.
"Doesn't your mother feed you?" Mrs. Turbler asked. And once again, she sent me into another flashback. This one was when I was seven. It's when I should've died. And we moved because of it
________________________________________
I was sitting in the lunch tables without a lunch, watching the other boys and girls eat their lunch. It made me even hungrier as usual. I just stared hopelessly at my empty lunch bag. I couldn't take it any longer. All of my classmates were chattering and munching on their sandwiches without a care in the world. It made me mad. So mad I decided to get up and leave. But when I got up I felt nauseous. My head started spinning, and my stomach started to lurch. All of a sudden my sight started fading. I saw all different colors, like a rainbow. But suddenly the rainbow was gone. Like most things in my life, they leave me with black coldness and bitterness.
* * *
The sirens blared in my ears. My stomach hurt so badly. I could hardly breathe; I could hear the faint beeps of the heart monitor. I fluttered my eyes open, just to see a man in white leaning over me.
"She's awake!" said the man in front of me. He had brown eyes and coal black hair. Another man came into the picture. He too had brown eyes and black hair. The two looked almost identical. But man number two had a beard.
"She is...for now." Said the man with a beard.
For now?
And again everything went black
* * *
I could subconsciously hear the faint beeping of the monitor...again. I tried to open my eyes, but they were trapped shut. I fought with myself to open my eyes. But when I did I saw a bright white light. I was so afraid so I shut my eyes tight again. This time I opened my eyes very slow like. My eyes focused on the nurse in the pink floral scrubs. She was fixing my I.V. I looked around. I was in a hospital.
"Oh! You're awake! I'll go get the doctor." The nurse quickly hurried out the door. I was just sitting there staring at the floral wallpaper. I practically mesmerized the whole room when the doctor finally came in. The doctor was pale, had brown gelled hair, wore a lab coat, and held a clipboard in my hand which I guessed had all of my information on.
"Hello...", he looked at the clipboard, " Madison, my name is Dr. Rawson."
I lifted my hand slightly, but it took up every last bit of energy I had. I hadn't noticed how weak I was until now. Dr. Rawson chuckled at my failed attempt to wave.
"Don't strain yourself little one. You should just try talking from now on. You are still weak."
Way to point out the obvious. But all I did was nod. But that hurt my head.
"Okay." I said instead of nodding....again. My throat was a little scratchy. The doctor turned around to study my chart. "Umm...Mr. Rawson?" I asked.
"Yes?"
I said the one thing that was on my mind since I woke up. "What happened...exactly? How did I get here?"
"Well according to your teacher, you were about to get up at lunch time, and when you got up you fainted. She thought it was because of the heat. But when we took you in the paramedics, your pulse stopped. So we had to re-start your heart. You gave us quite a fright. You're a tough little trooper aren't you? Anyway, then we put you in a few x-rays and well...we don't think you fainted because of the heat. Madison, have you been trying to starve yourself? We couldn't find much food in your stomach."
I panicked. I really don't know how to cook food. And Laura never feeds me. So technically, Laura is the one who starves me. But I can't tell him that, or he'll take her away. And they'll send me to some other freak family. I don't know what to say.
"Ummm... sort of."
"Well, Madison you can't ever starve yourself. For now on I am going to prescribe you...food." He said as he scribbled on the clipboard. Well that's a shock. But all I did was acknowledge his proscription. I mean he is the one with the degree. But seriously that's like telling a child "you need to wipe your butt after you go pee" I mean seriously, how can you be more obvious?
"Well, have a good day Madison." The young doctor said. He was about to leave when he stopped I the door jamb. "Oh I forgot. Your mother will be here in an hour. Ok?"
Awe shit. Yes I cuss and I'm only seven. You got a problem? I was practically raised by wolves! Gosh you can never catch a break in this world can you? I hesitated. Great just, great. Laura is coming, and she is probably going to re arrange my face.
"Umm....yea." I said and the young doctor left. How could I say it was okay? It was not okay! It wasn't even fine! It was horrible! No not horrible...it's abominable.
ONE HOUR LATER
I was fuming in the hospital bed, thinking of what the awful things she would do to me. I knew I was going to dread the moment when Laura walks through that very white door. And lucky for me. That was right this second. Laura just stood a bout a foot into the room folding her arms. She just smirked evilly. It was her famous smirk, and that smirk is a giveaway that I would wish I was never born.
________________________________________
For the first time I actually stopped my flashback. I had to stop the flashback, or I would start crying and Mrs. Turbler would get so scared just like last time. And I just couldn't bear the shocked and scared face she gave me. She looked at me like...like I was some sort of... of demented animal. I just realized where I was. I was in Mrs. Turbler's classroom, under the discipline desk - again - but I wasn't crying this time, I was shaking. I looked up. And sure enough I saw Mrs. Turbler with the same expression she had on the other day.
"No," I said shakily, "She never fed me." I said brutally.
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