Community Lost

Over the last 10-15 years I have witnessed a very distinct and very disturbing disconnect take place within our society. Communities that once gathered together to plan events and socialize have become still and silent. Streets that were once filled with children riding bikes, social parents and block parties now stand empty. Homes are now seen with drapes drawn and doors locked. What has sparked this unwelcome change, this lack of community, this cold and absent disconnect?

I find it difficult to believe that this is something that we desire, that people actually want to be disconnected from their community and from each other. I also find it difficult to believe that we don’t all secretly want to be connected to something larger than our own intimate world of work and family. Something is stopping us. Something is preventing us from taking the first step toward creating that sense of community that was once a trademark of our society.

Though I understand that several factors have influenced this societal shift, there are a few that deserve consideration: busier lifestyles, the rise of indoor activities, and fear. We definitely seem to be a busier society than we used to be. For one, it was more common for women to stay home and manage the home and family than it is today. They would meet neighbors at playgrounds, the parents of other children on class trips, and neighbors actually stopped to introduce themselves. These casual yet simple gestures would create friendships. Neighbors would hold pot-luck game nights and street parties, and sometimes even go on trips together.

Today it seems like no one has time to get to know each other. By the time both parents get home from work, pick up their children at school or day care and have dinner, all they have the energy to do is watch TV or check email. And on the weekends, well, we spend so much time away from home during the week that no one wants to go out on the weekends. So we stay to ourselves in our cozy homes in our own little worlds not interacting with the rest of society, and slowly losing our sense of community.

Even if this wasn’t the case, when was the last time you saw a child playing outside, riding bikes with neighbors, or creating chalk drawings on the street? I don’t doubt that there are still neighborhoods where this occurs, but they seem to be getting more rare. With the rise of video games, social Internet sites, and email conversations, who needs to play outside anymore? I know that this sounds harsh, but coming from a generation where mom and dad strictly monitored my time playing Atari and using their new Commodore 64, these new very popular pastimes seem more like an invitation to becoming couch potatoes than outdoor enthusiasts.

But maybe I’m not being fair. Maybe these new indoor activities are the product of a great fear that has overcome our society, a fear which prevents parents from wanting their children to play outside for hours at a time. After all, when was the last time you left your house and didn’t lock the door, walked down the street and said hello to a complete stranger, or answered the phone when your caller ID said "private number"?

There is definitely a sense of fear, a sense of paranoia that hangs over our society. It’s true that we have always had to be cautious in one way or another of dishonest people stealing, lying and taking advantage of us, but that fear seems to have magnified greatly in recent years. And who can blame us for being afraid? The rise of identity thieves, computer hackers and scams has bred a sense of insecurity and vulnerability. We have seen a dramatic shift within a very short period of time, from a society that needed to be moderately cautious, to a society where there is potential threat around every corner.

So not only do we no longer have the time or energy to maintain a sense of community, but our distrust for the people within our community further inhibits this development. The big question, however, is whether or not this sense of community is something that we can recover. Is there a way to turn back? More importantly, do we want to turn back? Is this dreamy, idealistic view of community that I speak of shared by the masses, or am I just part of a dying minority?

Regardless of the answer, the fact remains that we are not the society that we used to be. Our sense of community has shifted to a more reserved social environment where neighbors hardly know one another. It is true that we could wait for future generations to take the lead and hope they bring back what we have lost, but it is up to us to take the chance and set the example. It is up to us to take responsibility for the society we leave behind. You might think that one person can’t change the course of an entire society, and you’re probably right, but if this truly is the land of opportunity, then anything is possible.