Coming into my Bloom (Chp.1)

Chapter 1

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too. ~Missy Altijd

Things hadn't been good for a long time. I knew it; deep inside my heart I knew it. I just didn't want to admit it. Blaine was my comfort zone. My friend and lover the guy I could depend on for everything. The man I pushed to the edge more than once with my fiery temper. I took advantage of him knowing that no matter what he’d forgive me. I only did this because I thought he'd be there forever I thought we loved each other and I took him for granite, because he was willing to accept all my faults. Blaine was my childhood memories all in one. He was my first boyfriend; he'd given me my first kiss. He was the first and only guy to make my heart jump out of my chest every time I saw him. And give me that look that makes you feel on top of the world. He always gave me the feeling that my stomach was turning cart wheels whenever he looked at me. We'd been together since I was 15 he was the guy whose shoulder I cried on all freshman year while my dad battled with leukemia. When my dad died I almost lost the will to live. He'd given me the hope to keep living when I felt like my world was caving in around me. He took me to prom he loved me and our two year age difference never felt like it mattered. I dreamed we'd be together forever. Have kids, live in the suburbs. I'd be the soccer mom. He'd be the perfect dad. We'd grow old together. This was my dream but the only fault of dreams is that eventually you have to wake up. And it really sucks because then you have to deal with all the issues you really don’t feel like facing. All the people, all the situations good or bad. I woke up from my dream on an early September afternoon. I hadn’t talked or seen Blaine at all since the beginning of August when he came back to Atlanta for a quick weekend visit. I was picking him up from Harts-field Jackson Airport. I stood at the gate waiting for what seemed to be hours. Looking at every person, silently counting the minutes until I would see his face. Looking at the crowds of people being reunited my anticipation grew I couldn’t wait for the moment I would see him. When he finally rounded the corner I ran to him and wrapped my hands around his neck. I buried my face in his neck and whispered "I missed you." I waited to hear him respond. Moments passed and he said nothing. I looked into his eyes. He looked spaced like he was lost or in deep thought and didn’t know where he was. He forced a smile. I missed you too he said. He grabbed his duffle and followed me to the car.

The next two days passed slowly. It was to the point where I wondered why he had even come back. I was trying to enjoy his company cherishing every moment. Every since he’d gone to NYU we’d grown apart. It was to be expected I was a rising senior in high school and he was almost a sophomore in college hundreds of miles away. I felt relieved when Sunday morning came and it was time to drop him off at the airport. We rode in silence except for the comfort of Queen singing Bohemian Rhapsody. I pulled up to the drop off lane and pecked him on the lips before he opened the door and got out. "I love you" I said "I’ll call you" he responded . He turned his back and headed into the crowd.

. The fist few notes of The Beatles "Hey Jude" floated through the air and I knew it was him. I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves I knew this was coming and I was prepared I had barely heard from him since the beginning of August. I closed my eyes to stop the tears I could feel starting come. I took a deep breath trying to get rid of the lump that had formed in my throat.

I opened the face of my phone "Hello". "Hey babe how are you." I couldn't believe he was asking me how I was. That selfish bastard, he would know I how I was if he bothered to pick up his damn phone press number two and wait for me to answer. At that moment all the tears dried up the lump in my throat was gone and my sadness was replaced by pure rage. "What the hell do you want?" I said. "Listen I didn’t call to argue" he answered in his I'm getting annoyed, I don’t want to deal with you and I might just hang up voice. "I wouldn't argue if you'd call more often". "This isn't working'" he screamed. Don’t you think I know that I said? I've know that for the longest time what happened? I loved you, I gave you everything. I was there for you. Don't you think I know that he said? But we were never anything , this relationship was fun but it was just puppy love. I never looked at you as something long term. Just for the moment. I cared for you but I knew from the beginning it wasn't meant to be. You were only temporary. His words stung, I felt like he had taken a needle and put it over fire then slowly pushed it into my heart. And how do you know that. I whispered into the phone. "Because I found it, I found the real thing that walking on a cloud feeling, the feeling that comes with truly love someone." I opened my mouth but the words weren't coming out. I didn't know what to say for once I was silent. He sensed my emotion and continued. Her name is Maxine. We've been together for 6 months. I was hysterical I couldn't breath the tears kept coming I was trying to catch enough breath to answer him back. "You've been cheating on me". "Yes". I'd had enough I was going to listen to anymore of his b.s. I closed the phone and threw against the wall. I put my face into my pillow and cried for hours. I tried to go back into my dream because I sure wasn’t ready to deal with the reality of what had just happened.