Closer Than You Know - Part Four

"So nothing." She smiled at him, trying not to notice how lean or toned his body was. His lightly tanned skin and deep, blue eyes, the slight dimple, the amazing voice...he was all but imperfect. Today he wore snug jeans and a plain back shirt that, for some reason, made her heart skip a beat. He caught her staring and grinned cheekily. She blushed and looked away, suddenly inspired. She needed a pen and a paper, quick. But it would be weird if she suddenly started writing a song. "Um, I need to go." She said, already picking up her bag and beginning to walk out of the door.

"So soon? I was hoping you'd come for an ice cream or something." He smiled slyly as if he knew what the answer would be. She smiled back, just enough to show her amazing cheekbones and straight, white teeth.

"Or something. Maybe some other time." She walked out, just catching his look of surprise as she made her way to her dorm room once more.

(Danny's POV)
I watched as she walked out casually, as if she hadn't just declined a date with a rock star. The way she moved, it made me catch my breath and sink back against the table, gripping it with my hands. Her eyes, they mesmerized me. You couldn't call many people's eyes aquamarine or turquoise, but hers were. They were a sunset blue-green color that, when you looked close enough, had little flecks of gold.

Every feature of her, her face, her body, her hair was perfect. But that's not what caught me. I loved her personality. The first time I had 'met' her, she had hidden from me. She had been silent, and I had liked her. I hadn't seen her and I had liked her. I wondered what to make of that. Maybe it was her voice that cast its spell on me. Maybe not. But I know I'm definitely under something.

I push myself of the table and shake my head. She knows that I'm a player. I literally told her so when we talked. But maybe she would...maybe she would still like me? Maybe she thought she could change me? Wishful thinking, I know. I pick up my bag and smile at the thought of her. I needed to get it out of my head. She was an innocent and...me? Me? No one could call Daniel Gray an innocent.

She was friendly and I had anger problems. She smiled genuinely often - I only smiled at her and to be polite. Her eyes could light up anyone's day, her smile could knock the breath out of any guy and her voice could...her voice could bring the heavens to earth. I admit it. I really like her. But who would want a rock star who had been with nearly all the female singing population, had dropped out of Antoinette, commenting on how 'gay' it was, and had smoked for the past five years? I had tried to quit, believe me. I understand how much of a dirty habit it is, but with my anger problems...it's hard. Having a good smoke always makes me calm down.

It doesn't help that there's now a great place to do it. If you go off campus and walk a little, for about twenty minutes, you'll eventually come to this big, well-used park. Everyone goes there. But if you time it right, and get there a little into the evening, there was no one there, and if there was, my place was hidden away. At the very back of the park, which few people know of and even fewer people venture to, there is this place I call the arches. And there, hidden under the overhanging branches of an elm tree, is my weather worn, old, wooden bench.

When I used to go to Antoinette, this used to be my place. The place where I'd write my stuff, the place where I produced the song that got me recognized, the place where I played the music the public adored so much. And there, as I knew it would be, was the little heart I had carved with my inherited penknife. Inside the heart, in wonderful, neat scrolled writing was the name Leah. The girl I had fallen in love with. She had broken my heart cruelly, embarrassing me in front of the whole student body. The gossip was of me for the next year. Seriously, YEAR. But everyone got over it eventually.

Except me. Falling in love was easy. Climbing back out was much, much harder. Especially when you're not sure you want to. I remember the time, when my career had first launched and all the fans were totally crazy, she had called me. 'Hey. That date. How 'bout it?" That's exactly what she said, and even though it wasn't enough, it wasn't an apology, it wasn't sincere...I was tempted. That's how powerful love can be. But it had been over two years since I had seen her, since I had spoken to her. I realized I didn't want a girl who would think more of herself than she did her boyfriend in a relationship. I had gone back to that park, heavily disguised, sneaked to my bench and neatly, with the same penknife, crossed the heart out. It was the greatest feeling in the world.

I walked to my single dorm in the tower. Yes, they have a tower. It used to be the 'Water Tower', where they stored spring water and mountain fresh stuff and all that. It was used as a novelty, joke-kind, shop, where all the jocks could go to get a drink after they had played something or the other. Now it's deserted. I think everyone agreed the water thing was a stupid idea. Now it's my bedroom. It's just a long, winding stone staircase to the top, circular room. I have a lot of candles in there because the lighting's bad. It's situated where all the playing fields are, pretty much deserted as this school no longer has a sports program.

I made my way over there now, brushing my hair out of my eyes so I could see the bright sun better. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, which was a wonderful sapphire blue. It reminded me, somehow, of Jenni. I laughed and began to jog to my place. It was still early in the morning but a few students were milling around. I was sure someone would recognize me soon - even my big shades couldn't hide who I was. Sometimes I kind of resented that.

(Jenni's POV)
After running up to my room, I collapsed on the bed and, for the first time in what must have been a year decided to go shopping, the song idea ditched. I was out of touch with my feminine side and this seemed like a good idea. A fresh start, a new image, new friends. Instantly, Danny's handsome face popped into my mind. I smiled and closed my eyes, picturing every detail of his entrancing blue eyes. They held so much soul and seemed pretty much depthless. Their color was so unusual, normally a really light blue when he was doing nothing, which took my breath away. But when he sang or spoke, they darkened till they were electric blue and then, then they took my breath away all over again.

His body was so...hot. It was lean and toned. He had muscles but not them overly gross, work out types. The sort of subtle sinewy arms and long legs that make you want to know what it feels like to hug him. To have him hold you. I took a deep breath, opened my eyes and blushed for no particular reason. A bubble rose and grew in my chest till I had to sing.

"Somewhere in the distance
Where the horizon seems to end
I try to forget all the bad times, sad times

We had when we were friends..." I laughed, grabbed my money and made my way out. I had work later on tonight, acting as a waitress at a bar. It was where all the students hung out, and although I knew all of their names, none knew mine. That was a relief, but sometimes I wished someone would say hello. Tell me that they recognized me from the hallways. And maybe if we could hang out sometime? Never.

I sighed and shoved my way through the newly assembled throng of people so I could get outside.

"Hey, Dolly!"

"Why, hello Jonah! Aren't you going to walk me to my classroom?"

"Of course, Dolly." I watched as a bouncy blonde girl and fair-haired guy linked arms and disappeared. People still flirted like that? People still TALKED like that!? I suppressed a laugh and pushed my way out to the bright sunshine. The sky was flawless today, a bright, dreamy blue that, for some reason, reminded me of Danny. 'Danny boy, oh Danny boy...' My mind suddenly started playing. God! The old style talking was getting to me. I smiled and shook my head, finally reaching the bus stop. I had two hours to kill till my next class, and had to be back for that. Unfortunately, I didn't own a car, although I could drive, so public transport it was.

I sat on the little bench and waited for my bus, which was scheduled to come in fifteen minutes. Suddenly, just as my mind was beginning to slip into the dangerous realms of the real Danny boy, a bunch of guys came up and stood to wait for the bus, too. They had to be from Antoinette - there wasn't other civilization that used this stop. A guy with curly dark hair and a mesmerizing smile sat on the bench, a little away from me.

"Hey." He said, his soft hazel eyes sparkling. I liked him instantly.

"Hi." I stuttered, amazed that he was speaking to me.

"Are you from Antoinette? I haven't seen you around." he stated in a friendly way. I grinned, but there was a little stab of pain in my stomach.

"Been going there for two years." I commented simply, glancing away. His face twisted in surprise.

"No way! I would have noticed you!" I shook it off and laughed.

"It's a big place." He clicked his tongue and nodded.

"I suppose." He grinned at me. "Oh, sorry. Where are my manners? My names Thomas Pullman. I don't suppose you remember me?" He had a sly look in his eyes and I immediately tensed.

"Should I remember you? Do I know you?" I asked frantically, trying to keep a calm surface. I had never had friends. Maybe, just maybe, when I was really little...

"C'mon Jen-Jen. Don't you remember your Toto?" Suddenly, I did remember. When I was five, maybe. My tree climbing friend. The guy who'd been the closest person ever to me. His real name was Thomas but I preferred to call him Toto, and he called me Jen-Jen. Then, he'd had the same eyes but really short hair, almost a skinhead. I remembered. My Toto!

"Toto!" I threw my arms around him and smiled into his shoulder. I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and stand up. He lifted me slightly off the ground and twirled me around.

"Jenni. Jenni Porshotti. My bloody Jen-Jen. I've missed you." He pulled a little away from me and I laughed. His eyes were actually misting up! Then again, I was already crying. We had been the best of friends. Inseparable. We had done everything together, even pricked our thumbs and mixed the blood. We had been separated when someone had fostered him, commenting on how much 'cuter' he was than the original girl they'd come to view. Me. We hadn't seen each other for ten years! "You've grown so." Toto said softly, his eyes scanning me from head to toe. I wasn't even uncomfortable. He was the only person I had ever had. "Jen." He whispered, rubbing my lips with a soft thumb.

I smiled and bit the end of it gently. He laughed and pulled his hand away from my face.

"I'm going shopping." I told him randomly, smiling deliriously. I had a friend!

"You?!" He pulled a face and I slapped him playfully on the arm. His bicep was hard beneath my touch. Hmm. He had changed.

"Yeah, me. Where you off to?"

"I'm going shopping with Todd," he pointed at one of the other guys, "and Paul." He pointed to the other. They both smiled and nodded at me. I smiled shyly back. "But I can always ditch them. This is such a great day! I'm reunited with my one true girl! I'm trailing along after you, I've decided." He announced, his face comical. I laughed and turned to the other guys.

"You don't mind do you?" I asked them. Paul grinned.

"I definitely don't." Toto growled and we all laughed. I turned to the second guy.

"Don't look at me! I've been trying to get rid of him since we got the idea of a shopping trip! And it was HIS idea!" Toto leapt forward and pushed Todd who was already almost collapsing through weakness from laughter.

"Hey!" He cried, punching his friends on the arm playfully. Just then, the bus pulled up and we all piled on. Toto made his way to the back so we all followed and squashed up on the bench, laughing and chatting as we did. I ended up next to the window, Toto next to me. His thigh was pressed right up against mine and his arm was slung about my shoulders. It felt nice to finally have someone.

We rode on the bus to town, and then separated. I did my shopping first, buying tops and dresses in an array of rainbow colors. Then we went to a café and had hot chocolate, laughing so loud we got dirty looks from the staff.

"You have to do any lingerie shopping?" Toto asked hopefully, his eyes sparkling with mischief. I laughed and shoved him.

"Yes I do, so you can go off and do something else." He fake pouted and wandered off to a sports shop, promising to be outside Lady Haven in twenty minutes. I went inside and brought loads of different matching bras and knickers, in bright colors and silky materials, giggling at my daring. I brought ones trimmed with lace and diamantes and everything. I had a lot of savings, since I never brought anything. Then I went out and waited. Toto was late.

Laden with a million shopping bags, I stood there impatiently for another good twenty minutes. Finally, Toto ran up, looking all flushed and ruffled. I noticed how cute he had become. He smiled as he reached me and I realized he had a bag in his hand that looked way too fancy for a sports shop.

"You're late. Not a good way to rekindle our friendship." I smiled at him, even though I had been annoyed two minutes before. He was just too adorable.

"I was getting something. Put your shopping bags down." I looked at him quizzically and did as I was told. He pulled out a velvet box from the bag and opened it. It was a silver chain necklace with a charm shaped as a T with diamonds on it. He lifted it gently from the case and came up behind me. With a little brush, he moved my hair to the side. I caught my breath. His pulled the necklace up and fumbled with the clasp for a second, his soft skin and gentle touch almost taking my breath away.

"Toto, what's this...?" I was silenced as he gently put a finger to my lips.

"It's a present. To remind you of me always. You have been my everything through childhood, when even though the sun was up, my sky was dark. You have helped me through times I never even told anyone else about. I hope this friendship carries on with a strong a bond as it had ten years ago. And..." He pulled a necklace from beneath his shirt to show me. It was simpler, no diamonds, a boyish version of mine. Instead of a T, there was a J. "I got one too."

I looked up at him with shining eyes, the tears already leaving my eyes. I reached around and hugged him with all my might, burrowing my face into his shoulder, thankful my mascara was waterproof.

"You. Are. The. Best." I whispered. "Thank you so much. How can I ever repay you?" he pulled away a little and kissed me softly on the mouth. It was a quick friendly kiss, but my first all the same. I felt the blood rush to my face.

"You don't need to. Having you by my side is all I want. Our friendship." He stated, looking right into my eyes. I hugged him again and laughed into his jumper, for no reason. Things were definitely looking up. Definitely.