Close By Yet Far Away

Becky Anne blinked her eyes, slowly becoming aware of her surroundings. She felt close by her family yet far away. She stretched out, realizing she could move in ways she had never been able to before. She felt no pain at all. She did not feel that sickening feeling she had been feeling for the last week or so. As a matter of fact, she never felt better in her life. She felt intense joy from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. She felt like jumping or dancing. She stood up and jumped. She leaped so high she wondered whether anyone in all the world had ever been so high. She landed lightly on her feet and sat in Mommy’s lap.

Becky Anne listened to Mommy singing "An Old Irish Blessing." Becky Anne sang along. Real words came tinkling out of her mouth! It surprised Becky Anne. Real words had never come so clearly and effortlessly. The most she had been able to say before were about five partial words and a few sign language signs. She reached up and tenderly caressed her mother’s cheek. Why was she looking so sad? Oh! she thought. There’s Daddy. He’s crying. Why is he crying? Becky Anne took a serious look around. There was Father Scott and Father John. Becky Anne stood up and walked over to Daddy. She did not toddle! She just walked! She hugged Daddy tightly. Wait! Who was that? There stood Jesus and Mother Mary. They brought with them intense feelings of peace. Becky Anne smiled.
"It’s so good to see you," she exclaimed as she ran to them. As she ran, she literally flew off the bed into the arms of Jesus. She felt light and free as if nothing weighed her down whatsoever. She hugged Jesus tightly as he held her in his arms. Mother Mary joined in the hug as well. Becky Anne looked around. No one else moved. Mommy just kept singing, and silent tears ran down Daddy’s face.

"Becky Anne," said Jesus. "You are such a beautiful girl!" He brushed back her fly-away hair.

"What’s happening to me?" she asked.

Mary smiled. "You have just been born into new life in fulfillment of your baptism, my dear." Mary’s blue mantle shone softly and Becky’s senses filled with the smell of flowers. Roses lay all about the room. Why hadn’t she noticed them before?

Becky Anne ran her fingers through Jesus’ hair. "I can touch you now," she said. Jesus nodded. She looked deeply into his brown eyes. This was far better than Mommy, Daddy, or any priest had ever told her it would be like to meet Jesus face to face. She had never felt so good, so alive. She slipped out of his arms and twirled her way to the ground like a dropped feather. "What about Mommy and Daddy? What about Justina and Dylan?"

"They will come later. You get to be the first to see Heaven."

She leaped up onto the bed where her mother sat. She kissed Mama’s face and stroked her hair. "Mama. Mama. Mama." She repeated the words over and over. How she wished Mommy could hear her! That was all Mommy seemed to have wanted to hear while Becky Anne lived and struggled through her life. She turned and fluidly glided to Daddy. His unshaven face felt rough to her touch. "Hey!" she said as she had done every day for him when he came home from work. He did not move. She looked into his eyes. She felt so much love for her Daddy.

"They don’t know I’m here," said Becky Anne sadly as she looked back over Daddy’s shoulder to Jesus and Mother Mary.. "They don’t know how good I feel and how happy I am."

"They know," said Jesus. "They are just going to miss you while they are waiting to come to heaven."

"Where are Justina and Dylan?" asked Becky Anne as she reached out to touch Father Scott’s large, comforting hand and Father John’s smaller one.

"We’ll take you there in a minute," said Mary. "First we’ll go see all the people who have been praying for you."

Becky Anne enjoyed every breath she breathed in. Nothing hampered her. She delighted in the new sensations. The joy she felt was so intense she felt like it was oozing out of her.

They stayed there for a little while as Becky Anne got used to being able to speak and move. She said farewell to her parents as best she could.

Then Jesus took her hand in his, and Mary took her other hand. They walked, swinging Becky Anne between them like Mommy and Daddy used to do for Justina and Dylan. Becky Anne’s arms had always been too weak to be able to do that. They walked right through the doors and walls of the hospital into the ICU waiting area.

Becky Anne could hardly believe her eyes! The waiting room was full of people she loved. Grandma! Grandpa! Grandma! Grandpa! Aunt Jeannie and Uncle Matt! Aunt Lana! Uncle Shawn! Aunt Kathy! Aunt Rita! Great Grandma! Cousin Cheryl! She knew them all even though she had never seen some of them during her lifetime or had seen them only briefly. Becky Anne touched the love in the room. She bathed in it. It was more delightful than the piece of candy she had slipped in her mouth just a few days ago. She spent some time loving on each of the people who loved her so much.

When she was done, Mary and Jesus took her to see her sister and brother. Traveling with them was nothing like traveling with Mom and Dad. She flew like an angel, faster than human thought. Sometimes it seemed as though they were walking, but each step took them incredibly far, almost as if the world moved for them.

Justina was playing at Sabrina’s house. Becky Anne played with her for a while. Then she reached out to hold Justina’s hand. She said, "My dear big sister, I am going to miss you like crazy! I’m going to miss snuggling up in bed with you. I’m going to miss the stories you used to read to me. I love you dearly."

Mary and Jesus waited patiently, allowing Becky Anne to say her goodbyes. When she was done, they took her by the hand to Dylan.
Dylan was playing at Jeff and Lisa’s house. Becky Anne played with him for a while, too. She said, "Dylan, I loved taking baths with you. I’m sorry about the times I pinched you. You are the best big brother a girl could ever have. I saw how you left your puppy blanket with me. I’m going to miss you terribly."

Jesus and Mary took Becky Anne to visit every person who had ever prayed for Becky Anne. Becky Anne kissed each of their cheeks and made a mental note to pray for all of them while she was in Heaven.
Finally, Mary smiled at her and said, "Becky Anne, how would you like to go play in my garden? It’s time for you to see something much, much better."

Becky Anne grasped Mary and Jesus’ hands. She said, "I love you. Thank you for being with me all of my life and giving me such a wonderful family."

Jesus said, "Thank you for being a good and faithful servant. You did all I ever asked of you and more. You helped me heal your family, and you touched many lives. You endured great suffering for my sake. You have successfully completed your mission." He smiled at her.
In the twinkling of an eye, the trio soared up to heaven.