Cherry Blossom - Chapter 3, Part 1
Darcy talks about how deep he is feeling and his best friends helps his through it.
Chapter 3: Coming Back
For the next couple of days I willed myself to be sulking around in my room and tried to do something with my time. I would sit on my bed and draw whatever I saw out of my window it really was helpful to connect with my inner self it took me a while to finish it but when I finished it was such a relief that I finished. The beauty of looking at the drawing and seeing it come to life was just so delightful.
Rebecca came just before the school holidays started. When I heard the car door slam I knew she was hear and I ran downstairs and yelled to mum that she was here I saw mum walking out from the kitchen wiping the tears away from her. I stopped where I was.
"Mum, are you alright?" I knew maybe I didn't take in what mum and dad were feeling about gran passing but I didn't know what to do and still don't really.
"Yes, I was just chopping onions, don't worry about me." Mum never cried when she was copping onions because she knew how not to. The door bell rang and I hurriedly raced down the remaining stairs. I opened the door to see a familiar face staring back at me.
"Wow you look really different." I said.
"Yes hello to you too Darcy." She laughed.
"Oh, sorry how rude of me, Hello Rebecca, please do come in." I said embarrassed.
"Why thank you?" Rebecca said cheerfully.
"Hello Rebecca, look at you, you've grown since the last time I saw you." mum said.
"Thank you Mrs. Wilson." Rebecca said.
"Darcy get Rebecca's bags will you please."
"Oh, it's ok Mrs. Wilson, I can carry them in." Rebecca said shyly.
"Don't worry Rebecca I insist I take them for you." I knew it was polite to take you guest's luggage. Rebecca handed her luggage to me with a face telling me that she really doesn't want to be treated as royalty. But I didn't care as long as she was here I wanted for her to have an awesome time. The spare room was upstairs next to my room, it was a white room with a double bed, a closet and a dresser. The bedrooms all had carpet but the rest of the house has polished floorboards. The window in the spare room overlooked a park with all the trees a beautiful variety of colors that just simply stunned me whenever I looked at it. In the middle of the park was a fountain carved out of stone. It was two carved deer's looking at each other with eyes locked onto each other's eyes intently. That really motivated me most of the time. But now that I look at it I see it in a different way I see my grandmother just alone sitting on the bench overlooking the fountain and I sometimes walk over to the bench but by the time I get there she has vanished into thin air, but sometimes I see an old man in his early eighties sitting there alone I even feel sorry that he has no one to share the beautiful view.
Rebecca jumped on to the double bed and turned towards me looking existed.
"How have you been Darcy?" She said.
"I have been good, what about you?" I said.
"I have been fantastic." She smiled a huge grin "Come here and give me a hug, for you dear friend" I walked over to her, she got off the bed and put her arms around me and squizzed hard, nearly took me by surprise at how strong she was.
"I have missed you so Much!!" She said.
"I have missed too." I said, she didn't let her grip loosen instead she tightened. We stood there hugging each other hearing each other's breathing. We didn't say a word for what seem like a long time. I heard a tiny whimper coming from her leaps, she was crying. I tried to pull her away from me but she just wouldn't let go.
"What's wrong Rebecca?" I asked, I was worried, why was she crying? What had made her cry? Was it me? She didn't answer she just kept on sobering into my shoulder. I didn't pull away again I just let her hold me.
"Can you tell me what is wrong please?" I said. She finally wiped her eyes and looks me in the eyes.
"I have missed you so much." I could see her watery eyes.
"I have missed you too." I wiped her tears that were streaking down her face
"It's not just that." She said "I don't like my new home, my new school, and I have been really lonely." The tears kept flowing
"It's ok I'm here now." I said softly just so she could only hear it.
"Thank you," She said softly back, "You have always been here for me, and I really appreciate it a lot" there was a time.
"Come on, wipe your tears and let's go somewhere." I was nearly at the point of crying but I didn't want her to see me cry in front of her.
"Where are we going?" She said.
"You wait and see." I said "Here." I handed her the box of tissues; she took two and wiped her eyes then her face.
"Thanks." She said gratefully.
I took Rebecca's hand, the smooth coldness as I touch her hand the coldness shivered down my body giving me a tingeing feeling that I had never felt before. I led her out of the room and down the stairs.
"Where are you two going?" Natalie said.
"Just showing Rebecca something." I said shyly.
"Be back before twelve." She said.
"Thanks mum, bye- I love you," I walked hurriedly out the front door not realizing I still was holding Rebecca's hand.
"Slow down Darcy please." Rebecca said.
"Oh sorry" I let go of her hand and stopped for her to catch up to me.
The park across the road from my house was a huge place I got lost in it twice before when I was ten years old. We walked across the road; I led her past the water fountain.
"So are you going to tell me where we're going?" She asked curiously
"Nope," I smiled showing all my teeth, "You will see soon enough," then I laughed.
"Aw please tell me." She lowered her head and tried to look as sad as possible to try to convince me to tell her where I was taking her.
"I'm not going to be fooled by that trick," I said laughing, "Plus it's going to make it that much more special when you get there" I smiled a cheesy grin at her, she could not help but laugh
We walked in silence for most of the way. We came to a wall of hedges and an old wooden door that was mostly covered but vines; you could only see part of the door.
"Are we here?" Rebecca said confused
"Nearly, it's just beyond that door." I said. I walked over to the door and ripped some of the vines off to reveal a gold handle that was scratched, over time.
"Close your eyes." She closed her eyes; I grabbed her hand and opened the door and then led her through the door.
Beyond the door was a golden meadow stretching for kilometers upon kilometers. Standing there all alone was a glowing golden, white, red cherry blossom tree. The sky was blazing a warm blue.
"Ok you can open your eyes." I said smiling. Her eyes slowly opened like I just woke her up from her deep sleep.
"Wow its beautiful" I could tell she was shocked. I wondered if she would remember the first time I showed her a cherry blossom tree.
"How did you find this place? It's just so amazing." She asked.
"I found it about three years ago, I kept walking past the entrance one day and trip over the vines, I haven't been here for ages too long in fact, this place always amazes me every time I came here, I just wanted to show you something special and dear to me" I was really hoping that she would remember.
I had known Rebecca for almost all my life. We met in kindergarten, went through primary school together and were still best friends when we reached year nine. But last year things started to change, she moved away which made it harder and I began noticing how her eyes were such a beautiful color of golden brown. How her dark brown hair sat so perfectly and how her smile made me feel all warm and mushy inside. I suddenly always wanted to be around her, it made me feel anxious if she wasn't there with me, I could never get her out of my mind. But I never once told her how I felt. We were Rebecca and Darcy best friends for life and I couldn't let my feelings ruin that. But somehow I wanted her to be mine. Somehow I wanted to take the chance but I just don't know if I should or how I should go about it.
"This is even more stunning then the first time you showed me one." I was glad she remembered. We walked over to it and sat down under it. There was silence for a while as both of us didn't talk.
Rebecca turned her head to me.
"How do you feel?" I was shocked at this question; I didn't expect it to come out because she is not a person who really expresses her feelings or talks about it much. "Tell me it all of what has been going through your head this year" she asked.
"I have been feeling so depressed and alone, I walk these streets and I feel like I am not at home. I remember when I had a sense of inner security and now I bleed alone without a sense to believe. I feel pain a lot in my body which in turns fucks everything and I don't know what to do. I feel dreaded agony, I ask why live on this earth with misery. I cry inside and bleed, I want to scream, I want to go hide. I feel like a nobody inside, I cry tears of pain and I bleed again, I want to be my own friend But deep inside I wish my life would end sometimes. Not that I really want to die I'm really afraid of dying and I know a lot of people are. But I don't know what to do, I don't know who to go to, you're the only person I really want to talk to at the moment." I could talk about anything to Rebecca. The silence came back I could see that she was trying to take that all in, I looked in her eyes and I could see that she was really confused.
"Why do you feel that I am they only person that you want to talk to?" She asked.
"Because, you understand and you really listen to me, you help me through just like I have helped you through your hard times and I do thank you so much for being there for me when I have needed it, you're the only person who has always been there for me." I could feel myself nearly cry but I don't want to cry in front of her, I don't want her to be sad because I am.
"Why do you feel pain and alone?" See this is exactly what I really love about her she listens to you and doesn't just try to cheer you up to get rid of your pain but wants to know why, how you think what you think she truly wants to know and listen to try to help because she knows that if she tries to just to cheer me up now I am going to feel pain and alone sometime soon.
"Because I feel like I am losing everyone who is really so dear to me, my grandmother and now that you have moved away I just feel really alone and that I'm not at home, it's like I'm on an island with darkness all around me and all that is happening it's just raining with no sunshine just me by myself, huddling up trying to keep warm but failing." I waited in silence for her to say something.
"Why do you think your failing?" She asked.
"Do you know what it's like to feel nothing but sadness? To feel so empty that you just don't know how to function anymore? To feel like your world has been crushed and just not having the energy to rebuild it or not wanting to because it just doesn't seem worth it anymore? This is how I am feeling at this exact moment."
For the next couple of days I willed myself to be sulking around in my room and tried to do something with my time. I would sit on my bed and draw whatever I saw out of my window it really was helpful to connect with my inner self it took me a while to finish it but when I finished it was such a relief that I finished. The beauty of looking at the drawing and seeing it come to life was just so delightful.
Rebecca came just before the school holidays started. When I heard the car door slam I knew she was hear and I ran downstairs and yelled to mum that she was here I saw mum walking out from the kitchen wiping the tears away from her. I stopped where I was.
"Mum, are you alright?" I knew maybe I didn't take in what mum and dad were feeling about gran passing but I didn't know what to do and still don't really.
"Yes, I was just chopping onions, don't worry about me." Mum never cried when she was copping onions because she knew how not to. The door bell rang and I hurriedly raced down the remaining stairs. I opened the door to see a familiar face staring back at me.
"Wow you look really different." I said.
"Yes hello to you too Darcy." She laughed.
"Oh, sorry how rude of me, Hello Rebecca, please do come in." I said embarrassed.
"Why thank you?" Rebecca said cheerfully.
"Hello Rebecca, look at you, you've grown since the last time I saw you." mum said.
"Thank you Mrs. Wilson." Rebecca said.
"Darcy get Rebecca's bags will you please."
"Oh, it's ok Mrs. Wilson, I can carry them in." Rebecca said shyly.
"Don't worry Rebecca I insist I take them for you." I knew it was polite to take you guest's luggage. Rebecca handed her luggage to me with a face telling me that she really doesn't want to be treated as royalty. But I didn't care as long as she was here I wanted for her to have an awesome time. The spare room was upstairs next to my room, it was a white room with a double bed, a closet and a dresser. The bedrooms all had carpet but the rest of the house has polished floorboards. The window in the spare room overlooked a park with all the trees a beautiful variety of colors that just simply stunned me whenever I looked at it. In the middle of the park was a fountain carved out of stone. It was two carved deer's looking at each other with eyes locked onto each other's eyes intently. That really motivated me most of the time. But now that I look at it I see it in a different way I see my grandmother just alone sitting on the bench overlooking the fountain and I sometimes walk over to the bench but by the time I get there she has vanished into thin air, but sometimes I see an old man in his early eighties sitting there alone I even feel sorry that he has no one to share the beautiful view.
Rebecca jumped on to the double bed and turned towards me looking existed.
"How have you been Darcy?" She said.
"I have been good, what about you?" I said.
"I have been fantastic." She smiled a huge grin "Come here and give me a hug, for you dear friend" I walked over to her, she got off the bed and put her arms around me and squizzed hard, nearly took me by surprise at how strong she was.
"I have missed you so Much!!" She said.
"I have missed too." I said, she didn't let her grip loosen instead she tightened. We stood there hugging each other hearing each other's breathing. We didn't say a word for what seem like a long time. I heard a tiny whimper coming from her leaps, she was crying. I tried to pull her away from me but she just wouldn't let go.
"What's wrong Rebecca?" I asked, I was worried, why was she crying? What had made her cry? Was it me? She didn't answer she just kept on sobering into my shoulder. I didn't pull away again I just let her hold me.
"Can you tell me what is wrong please?" I said. She finally wiped her eyes and looks me in the eyes.
"I have missed you so much." I could see her watery eyes.
"I have missed you too." I wiped her tears that were streaking down her face
"It's not just that." She said "I don't like my new home, my new school, and I have been really lonely." The tears kept flowing
"It's ok I'm here now." I said softly just so she could only hear it.
"Thank you," She said softly back, "You have always been here for me, and I really appreciate it a lot" there was a time.
"Come on, wipe your tears and let's go somewhere." I was nearly at the point of crying but I didn't want her to see me cry in front of her.
"Where are we going?" She said.
"You wait and see." I said "Here." I handed her the box of tissues; she took two and wiped her eyes then her face.
"Thanks." She said gratefully.
I took Rebecca's hand, the smooth coldness as I touch her hand the coldness shivered down my body giving me a tingeing feeling that I had never felt before. I led her out of the room and down the stairs.
"Where are you two going?" Natalie said.
"Just showing Rebecca something." I said shyly.
"Be back before twelve." She said.
"Thanks mum, bye- I love you," I walked hurriedly out the front door not realizing I still was holding Rebecca's hand.
"Slow down Darcy please." Rebecca said.
"Oh sorry" I let go of her hand and stopped for her to catch up to me.
The park across the road from my house was a huge place I got lost in it twice before when I was ten years old. We walked across the road; I led her past the water fountain.
"So are you going to tell me where we're going?" She asked curiously
"Nope," I smiled showing all my teeth, "You will see soon enough," then I laughed.
"Aw please tell me." She lowered her head and tried to look as sad as possible to try to convince me to tell her where I was taking her.
"I'm not going to be fooled by that trick," I said laughing, "Plus it's going to make it that much more special when you get there" I smiled a cheesy grin at her, she could not help but laugh
We walked in silence for most of the way. We came to a wall of hedges and an old wooden door that was mostly covered but vines; you could only see part of the door.
"Are we here?" Rebecca said confused
"Nearly, it's just beyond that door." I said. I walked over to the door and ripped some of the vines off to reveal a gold handle that was scratched, over time.
"Close your eyes." She closed her eyes; I grabbed her hand and opened the door and then led her through the door.
Beyond the door was a golden meadow stretching for kilometers upon kilometers. Standing there all alone was a glowing golden, white, red cherry blossom tree. The sky was blazing a warm blue.
"Ok you can open your eyes." I said smiling. Her eyes slowly opened like I just woke her up from her deep sleep.
"Wow its beautiful" I could tell she was shocked. I wondered if she would remember the first time I showed her a cherry blossom tree.
"How did you find this place? It's just so amazing." She asked.
"I found it about three years ago, I kept walking past the entrance one day and trip over the vines, I haven't been here for ages too long in fact, this place always amazes me every time I came here, I just wanted to show you something special and dear to me" I was really hoping that she would remember.
I had known Rebecca for almost all my life. We met in kindergarten, went through primary school together and were still best friends when we reached year nine. But last year things started to change, she moved away which made it harder and I began noticing how her eyes were such a beautiful color of golden brown. How her dark brown hair sat so perfectly and how her smile made me feel all warm and mushy inside. I suddenly always wanted to be around her, it made me feel anxious if she wasn't there with me, I could never get her out of my mind. But I never once told her how I felt. We were Rebecca and Darcy best friends for life and I couldn't let my feelings ruin that. But somehow I wanted her to be mine. Somehow I wanted to take the chance but I just don't know if I should or how I should go about it.
"This is even more stunning then the first time you showed me one." I was glad she remembered. We walked over to it and sat down under it. There was silence for a while as both of us didn't talk.
Rebecca turned her head to me.
"How do you feel?" I was shocked at this question; I didn't expect it to come out because she is not a person who really expresses her feelings or talks about it much. "Tell me it all of what has been going through your head this year" she asked.
"I have been feeling so depressed and alone, I walk these streets and I feel like I am not at home. I remember when I had a sense of inner security and now I bleed alone without a sense to believe. I feel pain a lot in my body which in turns fucks everything and I don't know what to do. I feel dreaded agony, I ask why live on this earth with misery. I cry inside and bleed, I want to scream, I want to go hide. I feel like a nobody inside, I cry tears of pain and I bleed again, I want to be my own friend But deep inside I wish my life would end sometimes. Not that I really want to die I'm really afraid of dying and I know a lot of people are. But I don't know what to do, I don't know who to go to, you're the only person I really want to talk to at the moment." I could talk about anything to Rebecca. The silence came back I could see that she was trying to take that all in, I looked in her eyes and I could see that she was really confused.
"Why do you feel that I am they only person that you want to talk to?" She asked.
"Because, you understand and you really listen to me, you help me through just like I have helped you through your hard times and I do thank you so much for being there for me when I have needed it, you're the only person who has always been there for me." I could feel myself nearly cry but I don't want to cry in front of her, I don't want her to be sad because I am.
"Why do you feel pain and alone?" See this is exactly what I really love about her she listens to you and doesn't just try to cheer you up to get rid of your pain but wants to know why, how you think what you think she truly wants to know and listen to try to help because she knows that if she tries to just to cheer me up now I am going to feel pain and alone sometime soon.
"Because I feel like I am losing everyone who is really so dear to me, my grandmother and now that you have moved away I just feel really alone and that I'm not at home, it's like I'm on an island with darkness all around me and all that is happening it's just raining with no sunshine just me by myself, huddling up trying to keep warm but failing." I waited in silence for her to say something.
"Why do you think your failing?" She asked.
"Do you know what it's like to feel nothing but sadness? To feel so empty that you just don't know how to function anymore? To feel like your world has been crushed and just not having the energy to rebuild it or not wanting to because it just doesn't seem worth it anymore? This is how I am feeling at this exact moment."
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