Cherry Blosoom - Chapter 2
Boy finds it hard about losing his grandmother.
Chapter 2: Funeral Service
We all took our seats I was in the front row in the small church my grandmother was a lady to admire and she always went to church never missed a day, god bless her soul. Most of the people in the church were people I knew because nana always told me who she meets and who people were and we would talk for ages gossiping about everyone and everything. I was the first person to make a speech I asked my mum that I wanted to be the first person because I was the closest person here in the church. My grandfather died before I was born so I didn't get to see him in person though gran did tell me heaps and heaps about him and I loved all the stories she told me about him.
"Darcy you're up mum whispered to me." I stood up and in my hand I held the sheet of paper I wrote on and walked over to the lectern. I was nerves but I knew gran was in the church listening eager to know what I wrote.
"To tell you the truth I had a hard time putting all my granny's good traits into writing. No matter how hard I try, I can never do justice to what she overcame in her lifetime. I know we are all grieving today for we all lost a great lady. But I know wherever she is now she's happy and contented with what she left us. She was a mother, a sister and a friend to all of us. I'm sure each and every one of you here today has something to share on how my grandmother touched your life. She shared a lot of good memories, especially with me, her favorite grandchild. We shared lots of things together and she was one of my favorite mentors. I don't know if I can still be the same person I was now that she's gone. I can remember the last activity we did together; we went out to watch a movie. As some of you already know my grandmother really loved to watch classic love stories. Although we never agreed on what to watch, I always enjoyed our times together. She'd always ask odd questions about the actors or about the story. And I'd just laugh at her and she'd keep on asking until she got the answer she wanted.
My granny was a very strong woman and she always got her way. Maybe that's one quality I got from her. She was also a very good adviser. Personally I would seek her advice before I'd go to my parents. We always had short talks. Even if I didn't finish what I wanted to ask her she already had an answer for it. She was also the kind of person that would think about other people before herself. She never liked asking for help but she was always ready to lend a helping hand to others. She would do everything in her power to help other people.
Although she never got the chance, I think in her own way she was able to show us how important we all were to her. We may no longer see her but we'll always have these special moments we shared with her. She will always have a special place in our hearts. Let's just be thankful that we knew a special lady like my grandmother."
When I had finished I looked over to my parents they were both crying, it was the first time I saw my dad really cry at all. But when I looked around the church most of the people were crying I don't know why. After the service had finished everyone came up to me one by one and told me that my speech was really touching to them.
Sometimes I feel I wish I would never wake up from my so I wouldn't have to wake up the next morning to find myself in the same miserable state I was left in the night my parents told me that gran had died. I don't even know how see died no one really told me, or maybe I didn't want to know. It was hard enough knowing that I never will see her again. The last time I saw her, she was full of life and she seemed so happy and I didn't even get to say my last goodbye to her. Life doesn't seem like it's going anywhere these days. It just feels like I'm waiting for something, for anything to come along, fall on my doorstep and snatch me away the days seem to go faster. Daylight fades in an instant, it doesn't even matter how much later I fall asleep or how early I awake the next day. It's all the same in the end.
One day I'm going to find myself wishing that this was different, wishing that everyone around me was different, and wishing that I was different, there's something dying inside me something that I quite don't know I one hundred percent lost like a spirit that has lost purpose or a sense of being alive. My mind feels like its trapped. Thoughts just bend back and forth, never coming together to make my reality the same as I once knew it to be. Maybe for the better is all happens for, but when will I continue to live? When will I escape this cell of insane mind crunching ideal? I'm hiding from the world in a phase of my mind, in a field of a trembling sea that I'm drowning in. I show no pain for that is my weakness, the thing that keeps me locked in, and the thing that keeps the door shut. Maybe I'm just afraid, afraid of losing my heart and soul to the demons that's haunt my shadow, because they like to see the pain I'm going through the pain and suffering and want to torment me more so I will finally give this world up and go alone with them and their evil. It's like I have become an unknown ghost that remains a guest among the dead.
They carry on about how they could have lived life better and how they never got to say their good-byes to their loved ones but most of them never got to. They begin to forget the world around them maybe they're the ones keeping me inside my cell. I think that I am my own pain. I'm the only thing keeping me locked inside. I feel like my mind is shattered into a thousand pieces while becoming and unfixable flaw to my soul. Never being able to focus on one particular thought, I wonder lost in a dark place that seems inescapable. Thoughts mesh like water colors only they can never make a true picture. The good things come and go like a raging waves on an epic sea. They glide in but are gracefully snatched away in an instant like God is changing his mind about either or not I deserve the "good" things. In the end it's all the same.
Rebecca left me a voicemail earlier saying that she heard about gran dying I did see her at the funeral but I didn't get to talk to get nor did I really want to not that I hated her but I just felt like I need time and space to be alone with my thoughts not that was going any good I just felt worse and worse each day. I locked my bedroom door so I wouldn't be disturbed. A soft knock hit my door.
"Darcy love can I come in?" She said with sadness in her voice but also a bit of happiness sounds like she is coping alright, most of her grief came out and she is letting go of her past.
"Yer sure." I said without any thought about it. She opened it and walked over to the bed. My room had one bed facing the door and the window was next to the bed. There was a small cupboard that I kept most of my cloths in I didn't need heaps of cloths. On the other side of the room was a white desk with an old chair that my grandmother gave to me when we moved in to this house about three years ago, I kept my room tidy and clean.
"How are you feeling Hun?" She said softly, it seem like she also was losing her voice.
"It's not something I really want to talk about at the moment, sorry." I still didn't know what to do at all I was so confused.
"Well I have arranged for Rebecca to come over for a week, if that's ok with you? I want you to cheer up and maybe she might help you since she is a good friend of yours." She said croaky. It would be nice I thought to myself maybe she might help me get out of this crazy mind of mine.
"Thanks mum that should be great, I hope." Just the thought of Rebecca coming over cheered me an up a little.
We all took our seats I was in the front row in the small church my grandmother was a lady to admire and she always went to church never missed a day, god bless her soul. Most of the people in the church were people I knew because nana always told me who she meets and who people were and we would talk for ages gossiping about everyone and everything. I was the first person to make a speech I asked my mum that I wanted to be the first person because I was the closest person here in the church. My grandfather died before I was born so I didn't get to see him in person though gran did tell me heaps and heaps about him and I loved all the stories she told me about him.
"Darcy you're up mum whispered to me." I stood up and in my hand I held the sheet of paper I wrote on and walked over to the lectern. I was nerves but I knew gran was in the church listening eager to know what I wrote.
"To tell you the truth I had a hard time putting all my granny's good traits into writing. No matter how hard I try, I can never do justice to what she overcame in her lifetime. I know we are all grieving today for we all lost a great lady. But I know wherever she is now she's happy and contented with what she left us. She was a mother, a sister and a friend to all of us. I'm sure each and every one of you here today has something to share on how my grandmother touched your life. She shared a lot of good memories, especially with me, her favorite grandchild. We shared lots of things together and she was one of my favorite mentors. I don't know if I can still be the same person I was now that she's gone. I can remember the last activity we did together; we went out to watch a movie. As some of you already know my grandmother really loved to watch classic love stories. Although we never agreed on what to watch, I always enjoyed our times together. She'd always ask odd questions about the actors or about the story. And I'd just laugh at her and she'd keep on asking until she got the answer she wanted.
My granny was a very strong woman and she always got her way. Maybe that's one quality I got from her. She was also a very good adviser. Personally I would seek her advice before I'd go to my parents. We always had short talks. Even if I didn't finish what I wanted to ask her she already had an answer for it. She was also the kind of person that would think about other people before herself. She never liked asking for help but she was always ready to lend a helping hand to others. She would do everything in her power to help other people.
Although she never got the chance, I think in her own way she was able to show us how important we all were to her. We may no longer see her but we'll always have these special moments we shared with her. She will always have a special place in our hearts. Let's just be thankful that we knew a special lady like my grandmother."
When I had finished I looked over to my parents they were both crying, it was the first time I saw my dad really cry at all. But when I looked around the church most of the people were crying I don't know why. After the service had finished everyone came up to me one by one and told me that my speech was really touching to them.
Sometimes I feel I wish I would never wake up from my so I wouldn't have to wake up the next morning to find myself in the same miserable state I was left in the night my parents told me that gran had died. I don't even know how see died no one really told me, or maybe I didn't want to know. It was hard enough knowing that I never will see her again. The last time I saw her, she was full of life and she seemed so happy and I didn't even get to say my last goodbye to her. Life doesn't seem like it's going anywhere these days. It just feels like I'm waiting for something, for anything to come along, fall on my doorstep and snatch me away the days seem to go faster. Daylight fades in an instant, it doesn't even matter how much later I fall asleep or how early I awake the next day. It's all the same in the end.
One day I'm going to find myself wishing that this was different, wishing that everyone around me was different, and wishing that I was different, there's something dying inside me something that I quite don't know I one hundred percent lost like a spirit that has lost purpose or a sense of being alive. My mind feels like its trapped. Thoughts just bend back and forth, never coming together to make my reality the same as I once knew it to be. Maybe for the better is all happens for, but when will I continue to live? When will I escape this cell of insane mind crunching ideal? I'm hiding from the world in a phase of my mind, in a field of a trembling sea that I'm drowning in. I show no pain for that is my weakness, the thing that keeps me locked in, and the thing that keeps the door shut. Maybe I'm just afraid, afraid of losing my heart and soul to the demons that's haunt my shadow, because they like to see the pain I'm going through the pain and suffering and want to torment me more so I will finally give this world up and go alone with them and their evil. It's like I have become an unknown ghost that remains a guest among the dead.
They carry on about how they could have lived life better and how they never got to say their good-byes to their loved ones but most of them never got to. They begin to forget the world around them maybe they're the ones keeping me inside my cell. I think that I am my own pain. I'm the only thing keeping me locked inside. I feel like my mind is shattered into a thousand pieces while becoming and unfixable flaw to my soul. Never being able to focus on one particular thought, I wonder lost in a dark place that seems inescapable. Thoughts mesh like water colors only they can never make a true picture. The good things come and go like a raging waves on an epic sea. They glide in but are gracefully snatched away in an instant like God is changing his mind about either or not I deserve the "good" things. In the end it's all the same.
Rebecca left me a voicemail earlier saying that she heard about gran dying I did see her at the funeral but I didn't get to talk to get nor did I really want to not that I hated her but I just felt like I need time and space to be alone with my thoughts not that was going any good I just felt worse and worse each day. I locked my bedroom door so I wouldn't be disturbed. A soft knock hit my door.
"Darcy love can I come in?" She said with sadness in her voice but also a bit of happiness sounds like she is coping alright, most of her grief came out and she is letting go of her past.
"Yer sure." I said without any thought about it. She opened it and walked over to the bed. My room had one bed facing the door and the window was next to the bed. There was a small cupboard that I kept most of my cloths in I didn't need heaps of cloths. On the other side of the room was a white desk with an old chair that my grandmother gave to me when we moved in to this house about three years ago, I kept my room tidy and clean.
"How are you feeling Hun?" She said softly, it seem like she also was losing her voice.
"It's not something I really want to talk about at the moment, sorry." I still didn't know what to do at all I was so confused.
"Well I have arranged for Rebecca to come over for a week, if that's ok with you? I want you to cheer up and maybe she might help you since she is a good friend of yours." She said croaky. It would be nice I thought to myself maybe she might help me get out of this crazy mind of mine.
"Thanks mum that should be great, I hope." Just the thought of Rebecca coming over cheered me an up a little.
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