Changing Roles for Bridesmaids & Groomsmen

I, like many of you, have attended a number of weddings. I have also been a member of a wedding party on several occasions. Some of these weddings have been small and intimate with just a maid of honor and a best man to stand up with the bride and groom. And then there have been the very large weddings where the number of people in the wedding party reached double digits.

And it was at one of these huge weddings where the wedding attendants seemed to outnumber the guests where I began to wonder about why we have these attendants. Have you ever wondered where these traditions began?

The history of the best man goes back many centuries – some sources say as far back as 200 AD. If prospective brides were in short supply in the local village, a man simply took his best friend, or "best man", and went to the next village to steal a bride. The best man then stood by the groom during the wedding ceremony to protect the groom from the bride’s family who may come and try to steal the bride back.

The history of bridesmaids dates back to Roman times. Bridesmaids were originally intended to protect the bride as she traveled to the groom’s village for the wedding ceremony. Legend states that in some European areas, a couple often had as many as 10 attendants and their purpose was to ward off evil spirits. Bridesmaids and ushers (or groomsmen) wore clothing identical or similar to the bride and groom so the evil spirits would not be able to tell who the true bride and groom were. (Now you know who you can blame for that row of bridesmaid dresses hanging in your closet that will never be worn again.)

Fast forward a few hundred years, and while we still have wedding parties, or attendants, the role they play has changed a bit. And I'm pretty sure that women everywhere are happy to hear of the changed role of groomsmen. However, having been a bridesmaid several times, I'm of the opinion that the job of warding off evil spirits is still part of the experience. Of course today, those evil spirits might be helping a bride cover a last minute unsightly blemish or help her recover from drinking a bit too much the night before while celebrating her last day of being single.

Today, bridesmaids and groomsmen plan and attend bachelor parties and bridal showers, make toasts, assist the bride and groom in planning the wedding and during the wedding and reception itself, and act as legal witnesses. But mostly, attendants today are there to look good and to help the couple celebrate their special day. Far from being a dangerous task, as it once was, being a part of a wedding party is now an honor and a lot of fun.

And, of course, we need to show appreciation to our bridesmaids and groomsmen. Popular bridesmaid gifts may include personalized jewelry or an engraved jewelry box. Popular gifts for groomsmen can include engraved cufflinks or money clips. The best times to present these gifts is shortly before the wedding day. For personalized jewelry, you may want to give those gifts the day of your wedding and have your bridesmaids wear the necklace or bracelet.