Cause and Effect of Divorce with Kids

I have been researching what is the Cause and Effect of Divorce. Many of my friends over the last few years have gone through the divorce process. Through my research the following are the top 10 causes for divorce.

1. Commitment between partners - Your expectations between partners don’t match. Cheating between partners leads to mistrust and eventual divorce.
2. Communication between partners - Kind of a subset of commitment, however, when you stop talking to your partner, divorce is inevitable.
3. Abandonment, Alcohol and Substance Abuse.
4. Physical, Emotional and Sexual Abuse.
5. Can’t learn to reconcile and manage differences between partners.
6. Cohabitating before marriage can lead to a higher rate of divorce due to the initial comfort level achieved may not be reality when married.
7. Expectations in household tasks and financial stress
8. Overall misunderstandings between partners due to personal success or failures.
9. Mental Illness
10. Religious differences between partners can cause conflict.

Now you may say that these causes are overwhelming and divorce is my only option. Cheating is a big cause of overcome in addition to all the rest listed above. I’m not a therapist or have any degree in this subject; however, there can be reconciliation to revive your marriage. Some of the effects of divorce may be worse than attempting to work out your differences with your partner.

You may say that divorce is my only option; however, have you considered what it’s doing to your children? I worked with children in a child care center about a year ago. I watched the progression of divorce on these kids and it was not pretty. If you think you are angry and confused, how do you think your kids feel?

These kids would come to day care every day and over the course of months I would see these happy kids turn angry and confused. Here are some of the major effects divorce has on kids.

1. Commitment - How about trust? This one is hard to get back even for kids going through divorce.
2. Communication between children and divorce parents is compromised. No longer are you committed to presenting a united set of rules. This presents conflicts, anger and a whole lot of confusion.
3. Abandonment - Yep, the kids feel this when a parent leaves the home for good.
4. Physical, emotional and sometimes even sexual abuse - Yup! It happens to the kid during a divorce.
5. Have a hard time reconciling and managing expectations between parents - Yup! This happens.
6. Kids parents living with other adults other than Mom & Dad before divorce is final - Yup! Seems common place anymore.
7. Expectations between parents with separate households along with financial stress between separate households. Yup! Big problem.
8. Misunderstanding between parents separated or divorced can lead to children learning how to manipulate the situation.
9. I have seen these kids become more aggressive and angry which can lead to mental illness diagnosis and treatment.
10. What church do the kids attend? Can be very confusing to children.

My point is writing this article is this: Your causes or reasons to get a divorce are the exact consequences you will place on your children. The question you need to ask yourself; Are you willing to accept the cause that is breaking up your marriage and place the result directly on your children? Whatever you decide, your children faced all of the same top 10 causes and results from the breakup.

Will kids adapt? They will adapt, however, long lasting effects from divorce will remain on you and your kids for a lifetime. If you and your partner are committed to remain together for the sake of the kids, there are additional materials to read that will help you guide your relationship with your partner back on track. The Cause and Effect of Divorce is very traumatic on your kids will help.