Carry On, Chapter II

A few weeks after Alexander and Joseph's fight, things among the girls and boys seemed even more natural. We all opened up better to get to know each other, as friends and many of us as lovers. A bunch of couples started being sexually active to Alexander's dismay.

I was making out with Joseph in the girl's chapel when he wanted to take our relationship to the next step. It felt totally wrong at that time, so I stopped him.

-I'm sorry, but I don't feel ready yet-

-Oh c'mon! A lot of people are doing it now-

-I know! But I'll be ready when I feel ready, and now I don't-

-Fine!- He got up and put his school shirt on- I have Math chores anyway, and I have this science test I should feel ready for-

-You're making up excuses. We all know anyone could access the answers for any tests. Just need to ask Alexander.- I said mad at Joseph.

-Alexander is not in charge of anyone here. There's also Dave, Brad, Charles and George, they also know how to run things, not only Alexander, the great!- He said clearly pissed off.

-Leave then!- I yelled at him.

He took his things and left slamming the door. He had been sweet with me all this time, but I didn't feel ready, and part of me felt guilty for not feeling ready for him. Joseph has been good to me after all, and his sparkling blue eyes drove me crazy, his hair, his evil smile. I hoped I'd be ready for him soon. But it also started pissing me off how eager he was to have "sex".

After doing all my school chores I wandered around the schools, I had always enjoyed stepping on the fallen leaves, somehow I liked the noise they'd make when I stepped on them, it was the feeling of breaking something just by pleasure.

-Alyson, what are you doing here alone? Where's your shadow?- Gabrielle said.

-Excuse?

-Joseph, the cute-

-Busy, school stuff-

-It's 8p.m, he's probably done by now-

-We don't have to be together the whole time, you know-

-Just wondering, I'm waiting for Tedd. Have you seen Alexander?-

-No, where is he?-

-Tedd told me he was with Alexander, oh there he is!-

Tedd was tall but thin, blue eyes, long brown hair, and childish, a very happy boy, he was waving hi to both of us. He ran towards us, and when he reached Gabbie, he lifted her in his arms and kissed her.

-Hi, Alyson? Where's Joseph?-

-I don't know-

-Oh...-

-Don't "oh", we weren't born glued to each other!-

They both laughed at my remark, we talked politely about school and the chores and how everything was better since girls and boys were together, but of course they wanted to be alone. Though it was hard to be alone, since in the school each room had two bunks.

-Teddy, where can I find Alexander?-

-He's at one of the keeps-

-Which one?-

-Number 1, school boys, of course, it's Alexander!-

-Of course- I smiled.

There were four keeps in each school, the first one was always the most important, there were different supplies there, and telescopes to see outside, though we could see nothing but mountains and wilderness. I wanted to see Alexander, I had not seeing him ever since that kiss. For some reason we didn't coincide in the same classes.

-Hello, Alexander, what are you doing?- I said when I came in. He was petting one of the telescopes, lost in his thoughts, staring at the mountains view.

-Here, just thinking about everything. Why are you here? You want to set up a visit to your parents? Charles is taking care of that now.-

-Why? I don't think Joseph will beat you up again, your brother would kill him this time-

-I don't want Stephen to kill anyone- he said with a smile- anyway, like I said each of us is very important for the future.-

-So what are you doing?-

-Thinking? That's why Charles is on charge of the visits now, so I can focus on other things. Like thinking if there's still people outside, how are they? Are we safe?-

-Alexander, I don't think you should think so, we won't be let out till the government thinks we are safe-

-Ever wondered how many of that group are alive?-

-Alexander, you are scaring me...-

He looked at me mortified, it was cold, so he took a blanket and put on me, he made me sit on an old improvised couch he had put in there.

-Why you kept on following the orders?-

-Huh?-

-When you realized the holograms couldn't do anything to you. Why did you still follow the orders, do the chores, eat this or not, you know, the usual-

-I don't know, I guessed we got used to our routines. You?-

-Stephen forced me to. Everyone just kept doing so-

-Why did you decide to open the doors that kept us apart, Alexander? We all knew we'd meet with "the other kids" when we were 18. I was looking forward to it, now it's here, maybe too soon?-

-I'm sorry about that. I just wanted to know if they'd come. It's been a long time since I saw a grown up. I'm scared, doubtful. We used to have food supplies carried by those trucks. They haven't come for years. The machines run everything, the laundry, the cooking, the energy. What if something happens and everything doesn't work?-

-When was the last time you saw any grown up?-

-When they were 12 and I was 9. I hide at first, but I know that doctor saw my stuff, but pretended he didn't see it, or at least I think so, maybe I'm wrong. He was also a soldier too. You?-

-We had Hannah living with us for a while, but when we turned 13 and most of the girls had their periods, she disappeared.-

-Hannah?-

-Yeah, why?-

-How was she?-

-Kind, funny at times, later we remember her as being bitter and sad-

-No, how did she look like?-

-Brown wavy hair, big brown eyes, pale white, not that tall, sort of slim. She always had sad eyes-

-I can't believe this!-

-What?-

-I never understood why they'd leave us alone so soon, I thought they motorized us when we were little by cameras, since I found many of them hidden! But I thought that was done from a distance. I remember Hannah, she'd talk to us by our TV screens. She was in charge of both schools! Not just yours! Why didn't you tell us you had lived with a grown up?!-

-You asked us if we knew about the grown ups. We said we didn't. Hannah left us when most girls turned 13, she said she was needed somewhere else, and that if we kept on doing what the holograms told us we'd be just fine.-

-We didn't have anything like that, yet when we misbehaved this voice and person talked to us like she had seen everything. And of course she had, and she was close to us! So far I had thought it was a miracle for us to be alive, but now I understand it better. Except that now I think we're really on our own. You see, I broke the rules so the grown ups would come, see if there was still people outside, but not even a phone call from the outside world, we're not being watched by anyone!-

-So?-

-What if the people, that knew where we are, are dead?-

-What do you mean?-

-The schools are in secret places, they were kept in secret for a reason. I want to know that reason, though I came up with a few ideas already. You see, if those that knew about us do not longer live, maybe others are looking for us, but are clueless about our position. If we ran out of things, we'll die. There's so many questions without answers in our parent's records-

-I think you're over thinking this, Alexander-

-Really? I'm sorry, I just don't want any of us to die-

-I don't want to die either Alexander- I said scared, I started shaking when he hugged me.

-Don't worry, I'll focus on getting to the supply rooms, and check for how much we have-

-Okay- I said whispering.- Alexander, when was the last time you saw those trucks getting us supplies?-

-Three years ago, but before that they used to come every season, always wearing those hazmat suits-

-I never saw them coming to our school-

-That's because they always came when we were sleeping, very early in the morning. I wonder why they never got inside the schools for any reason. Once I hack all the passwords of the doors here, I'll know more-

-You are so smart, but wouldn't you like living like the rest of us, without caring about any of that and just live?-

-Well, in order to keep our people living those happy lives, as you say, someone must care and watch over, and makes sure things remain "pretty"-

-You are an angel, Alexander-

-Thank you, that was a nice compliment- he forced a smile for me.

-Alexander, what do you think we'll find out there?-

-Nothing. We'll be let out once the infection is gone, once the people is gone-

-But it's been 11 years since the disease appeared. Shouldn't all the infected ones be dead by now?-

-I think so too, that's why I don't understand why we're kept in here, what was so dangerous we're still in here? Why no-one is coming anymore, no contact, no phone calls, no news... and why we don't even know where we are? We don't even have cartography books, so it's planned we're lost like this. Everything drives me nuts-

-Alexander, calm down- I said passing my fingers through his sandy hair.

-I can't. Too many questions, not enough answers.- He said almost with tears in his eyes.

-You can't do anything about it-

-Yes, I can-

-What do you mean?-

-When I manage to find a secure way, I'll go outside and see if there's grown ups out there-

-Alexander, no! What if there's still people infected out there!-

-It's a risk I'm willing to take. I want to see what's left for us outside these walls. I want to explore. Besides, there's 401 people here. We can afford to risk a life. Mine.-

I didn't know how to calm down Alexander, so I kissed him gently, we kept on kissing, then we started making out on that couch, and only a few minutes later, we both lost our virginity.