Can't Buy Me Love 19 - by Maro Z

This has taken five days to actually post on here, sorry to you all! I'm gutted! Think this will be the last story I publish here. It's really put me off my stride!:(

This was to be a short chapter as I'm away in a week so want to try to finish this story before I go! But as usual it was submitted Thursday eve and as yet (Sat am) it's still not been posted.....so it's a longer chapter than originally planned! Hope you enjoy! When it's finally up for you to read!

Thanks all for reading and of course commenting:)

Lee Lee - :)

Melly - Paris is great:) And thanks!!

Justine.A - she always had walls on so many levels....and yep nothing better than being the one being kissed like that;)

Aubrey - Thanks!!

Amber - Ha ha! Well I've been posting like this for a year, but have written since in school. Some of the stories on here were started over the last ten years but never really finished....posting made me complete them:)

Kim - I try to keep you all in the loop:) I will!!

Liza - Great.....I'm too old:) Living in the UK!! What about you??

Nikki - Wow thanks! Harlequin always are more safe and predictable....still a haven in a storm though!! The call?? Yep - not good news:(

LovelyPalacios - I know, the phone call....not good news for the couple. Live will come around, if you've been her mother figure for the last few years she'll think that will change now....Can't live your life for others....

Annie - Ben may have had an indirect hand in this chaos, you're right...

Sami - Thanks! Love that you love it!!

Wellwisher - :) She's about to regain her youth I sense....Oh they wavered then, but after her months in exile she's more than built them back up.....Sorry to confuse:) Glad to amuse!!

Jane E. - Yes I've been to Paris several times, I love it, but I do research before I write about a place just to make sure I get things right....memory isn't always reliable!

Klara Noel - Think it might :(

Kaseyy - Ha ha! Don't fall off! Life calmed down now.....never busy for too long!

Nessa - The fact that he doesn't share things is the real barrier isn't it? He's not great with that:(

LivePalacios - Indirectly he's involved....and ruin? Who knows?

Jazz - thanks! So glad you like. This chapter was submitted Thursday eve...again....still not posted so I'm getting fed up!!

Darshanetta - ahh the twists and turns of a story! She's only 20, isn't she too young to give up her independence for a baby? I don't know....I've toyed with lots of ideas! And thanks for the comment!

Hora Venus....SO many options, hey? Marina's not about to rush anything! Seems there's a real divide over this, those who love my other stories are not so keen on this, yet others think this is the best.....Hmmmm interesting! Thanks for the comment!!

Surahbi - You know me TOO well....I don't put subtleties in for no apparent reason!!

Briana - Thanks! SO glad you're enjoying!!!

So the quick chapter is a little longer...not a happy bunny, but there we go!! Hope you all enjoy!
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Nathan stared at her across the candle lit table and marveled at how she'd grown up. She'd been quirky as a teenager, funny and feisty, but somewhere over their time apart she'd become this graceful beautiful woman. She was still only twenty and seemed eons away from his almost thirty, but he wanted her in ways he hadn't wanted anyone for years....well ever! He wanted to put down roots, to wake up with her every morning, hell he'd woken this morning after dreaming of her greeting him in a kitchen wearing an apron...heavily pregnant. That was worrying! He'd never thought about the future, mainly because he didn't have a future to think of, he was merely embroiled in whatever his next case was. But now, he was thinking differently.

"My turn! Penny for them?" she asked clicking her fingers in front of his distant staring eyes.

He shook his head, "just appreciating a beautiful place, great company and awesome food!"

Nodding knowingly she smiled, "ditto!" Twirling her chicken linguine around her fork then deposited in her mouth, she eventually managed to add, "Especially the food!"

He chuckled as he tossed a large slug of red wine down his throat. There was a sense of unease washing over him, and it was starting to unsettle him....

Later that night as she slept curled into his chest he studied his messages and emails via his phone, he was going to have to go back to the States, abandon her. She'd hate him, he knew she would. But as much as he wanted her, their future, he also had an obligation, to his colleagues, his friends. Avis had opened a can of worms, he knew this was his work, and he knew why, he'd resented his threat over Marina. Nathan sighed, whilst he'd always wanted the chance to frame the man who'd shot his best mate Cal, he'd spent years trying to catch him, avenge the injury, near death, but also the hurt at losing his partner, yet for the first time in ten years he was taking a vacation, taking time out....and now...THIS!

Sliding out from under her, he made for the bathroom; he had to settle this with his handler.

"Paula?"

"Adam! Long time no speak, I didn't think you'd even begin to answer my calls."

He sighed, "It's the last thing I want to do Paula. This is my first break in years!"

"True, but it's also the 'in' you've been waiting for. You always said you wouldn't stop doing this until you caught up with Cal's attacker. Now you've got him...."

Nathan sighed, "I know, but I really want some time for me Paula."

"Look Nathan, you can't get out of this, she'll wait for you. No woman is worth not doing this, you know that! She'll wait!"

He buried his head in his hands, "with all due respect, you have no idea what the hell is going on Paula. Tell the head office I'll be back in two days. They at least owe me the chance to say a proper goodbye to her, and I don't care who that pisses off!"

"She'll wait..."

"How long will it be? A month? Five? A year? What young beautiful girl is going to wait that long? Shit! Paula. Just tell them, I'll be there when I want, ok?"

With that he hung up.

When Marina woke she felt bereft at the cold empty space next to her. Rolling on to her side she was surprised to see him sat on the small armchair twiddling a pencil rather manically.

"Hey! Can't sleep?"

He shook his head and suddenly Marina was apprehensive. He looked so serious, so forlorn. If he had family she'd presume someone died, but he had no one other than his sister and she was incarcerated. So that wasn't it.

"Won't you join me?"

Shrugging he tried to muster a smile, "I'm just....Marina....I've got to go back."

Her face dropped as she sat bolt upright, he tried to ignore the vision of her tousled from both sleep and love, half naked as the sheets fell away from her lissom body. If ever there was a temptation to change his mind, this...her was it. But he had to do what he had to do.

"Leave?" she whispered.

He nodded, "work....I'm the only one they can use."

She was stunned, "Is this another undercover job? How long will it be? Can you come to Australia in a week or two?"

He shook his head, "they want to trap an old undercover acquaintance of mine, I'm the only person who can go in."

"So all this..." she gestured around herself, before gathering the sheets to her chest, "all this is over?"

As he looked at her pained eyes, her desperate expression, he knew this was going to break her heart, but he had the one chance to avenge all his demons, and he had to do that before he could step down, relax, and find himself the life he wanted. There was a flash of the expected pain, and then a whole lot of anger.

"I thought you wanted this, wanted to work at things."

"I do! I want to be with you Marina, there's nothing I want more than to disappear off into the sunset with you. But I can't! I have an obligation, I work for a government agency, I have responsibilities...."

She shrugged, "what you mean is that yet again you run off and leave me alone!" She reached for the hotel robe and dragged it over her naked form.

Sighing with exasperation he crossed the room and took her hand, "Marina! I love you; I want us to work at this. But I can't just drop my work at the moment, I have obligations!"

Absorbing his declaration of love as though it hadn't happened, she turned on him, "I was trying to trust you again, you promised me things, you're going back on those words."

His laugh was a mixture of anger and annoyance, "Marina! Don't you think you're overreacting? I'm going back because I HAVE to, not because I want to!"

As she huffed dramatically Marina knew she was being childish, demanding...but the thought of being on her own again after sampling a few days in his company was more than she could bear. She'd spent so long alone, the last eighteen months in almost isolation had been so hard, and now that she was back in circulation she realized that she appreciated companionship more than she ever thought she could. So instead of taking a deep breath she unleashed all her fear and anxiety at the thought of losing him on him.

"Well in typical Nathan or bloody Adam fashion you ARE abandoning me, and I hate you for it!"

He shook his head, "this is exactly why I was reluctant to get involved with you Marina! You are so needy, and I've never been Mr Reliable! Now you're just proving I was right. I should never have come and found you! I should've stayed where I was when I wasn't at the whim of an overindulged teenager!" He tried to curb his anger, but everything she was saying was right, he'd built the situation up, and he was letting her down. Paula's words that if she loved him she'd wait flashed into his mind, but here was a young girl who'd had a really rough time for a couple of years, she deserved someone who could be what she wanted, what she needed them to be. He'd never been particularly good at caring; he always thought that was because he'd never been cared for. Images of his sister immediately appeared in his mind, if he'd cared more.....

The crack of her hand across his face rang across the room and she bit her lip almost as much in surprise at her reaction as his words. The heart that had been fracturing into a million pieces was suddenly coming back together, harder and less penetrable than ever before. As the shock in his eyes quietened she watched him turn and throw a few things back into his bag.

"I was hoping we could enjoy our last day together, but that's not going to happen! God Marina I'm sure you're happy painting me as the bad man here, but you're so unreasonable....so selfish...."

"Selfish? Oh yeah I'm that alright! I admit I'm young, naive in this situation, but I also know that I put all my eggs in this basket and left nothing as a backup plan! THAT is what I regret, that I ever believed that a leopard could change its spots! Go Nathan....ha ha Adam! Leave me alone, because ironically I was so much better when I was alone and only had myself to worry about!"

She curled up under the duvet again trying not to watch as he packed up his things, cleaned his teeth then started for the door, as he got there he paused.

"It doesn't have to be like this Marina!"

She glanced over, "it's easier to do this now, rather than when you're even more ingratiated into my life. You'll always be absent for large periods of time, you don't care about people, you just care about you, and work, and being some super undercover agent, you've proved what little loyalty you had to me in the past when you left me to all that shit with no warning. I knew that phone call yesterday was bad news, but you brushed it off....You don't let me in! Hell you've let your own sister rot in hell rather than jack in this job and help her, she's BLOOD! What chance or hope do I have of you changing? This proves the last week was all fake, just like your bloody name! Ha ha ha!"

He froze as he digested her words, then closed the door on her dry sarcastic laugh.

Marina refused to follow him, to call him or to dwell on what had happened, with grim determination she called the airline and brought forward her flight to Sydney. Suddenly Paris didn't hold much attraction.

One month later

Or to be exact four weeks, two days and nineteen hours later, Marina followed her much beloved best friend into the large white marquee. Everywhere she looked there bunches of arum lilies, white and fresh in sprays on stands, on pillars, and in the arms of herself and Sara. Her best friend looked divine, a vision in off white, a strapless dress than hung in folds to her feet, simple, beautiful and dignified. Her own dress was what the dressmaker called crocus, a deep dark purple, similar in design, being strapless and floor length, it was thicker material, and a little less delicate, but nonetheless beautiful. As she walked down the aisle, supervising the three year old twin flower girls, she smiled at the watching faces whose glances past to her after Sara had passed.

Though she smiled a dazzling smile, inside she was anything but happy. She was pleased for her friend, delighted that she had met such a wonderful man. Josh was everything Marina had hoped for her friend, tall, blonde and good-looking, but also funny, generous...and besotted with Sara. This wedding was being held in a purpose built marquee in the grounds on his home, a large house a few miles outside Sydney, the house was perfect, as was he, and Marina could feel no ill will towards her, she was ecstatic for her, but that didn't make things any easier to cope with personally.

The service was brief but emotional. She saw Sara's mother swipe at a few tears as they repeated their vows, and she'd smiled reassuringly. They signed the register, then Marina followed them out into the beautiful gardens for photos.

She felt like a movie star with her pasted on smile, but Sara deserved nothing but her utmost happiness, and she got it tenfold.

They were about to enter the newly reorganized marquee for the reception when Sara turned and took Marina's hand.

"Are you ok?"

Marina grinned, what a friend to wonder about her on her most important day, "I'm fine Sara....this is a wonderful day!"

With a grin they all turned and entered the foray.

Marina had arrived in Sydney four weeks earlier fighting devastation and desperation. The ecstatic Sara had been at the airport to meet her and it wasn't difficult to be absorbed into her enthusiasm and obvious happiness. Marina was so pleased to see her friend, and it had only become apparent as to how much she missed her when they hugged each other in that arrival lounge. Initially she'd been swept along by the excited babble of Sara explaining all that was going on. Josh her fiance had driven them to the apartment she was renting until they were married, and it was only when they pulled up that Sara turned to him and said, "can you give us some time Josh? We've loads of catching up to do!"

Her shrugged dumped Marina's bags inside the door then kissed Sara briefly before disappearing.

Sara had turned to her and asked, "so come on Marina, tell me what's made you so.....I don't know, quiet? I can't believe your time in exile is enough to make you so sad."

"It's nothing Sara," when her friend raised her eyebrows she knew she wouldn't appease, "Ok, I've had some issues, but they're not important now, this is your time."

Sara took her hands and smiled encouragingly at her, "bullshit! We're friends Mar, I've missed you more than you can ever imagine, but I want to hear the bad as well as the good...you look sad, I'm presuming it's more than losing your Dad, you've never been this sad after seeing Alex.....so it's a man?"

Fighting tears Marina tried to resist, but the whole sad and sorry story had come out between bouts of tears, snot and despair.

Sara was always more of a romantic than the innately practical Marina, but even she realized that it was too early to analyze, criticize or even advise on this subject. Instead they'd partied, visited restaurants, spent time at the beach, rebonded, and to Marina it was EXACTLY what she needed.

She'd learned to surf with Josh, climbed the Harbour Bridge with Sara, and two days before the wedding they'd attended the opera house to watch Verdi's La Traviata. By the time the wedding came around, Marina was as far removed from her time in Paris as she could be, and she was determined that after this wedding she would organize her life again. She needed a plan, and she needed one now!
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