Butterflies, Regrets and Strange Kisses: Chapter 11 - Kiss Me Back

Comment Replies

Ani Most definitely! And thank you so much!

Justine.A Me too lol idk why I said that...but it seems the characters have their own personality and I'm just telling their story.

Star Yup she did, and don't worry, she knows now ;-)

Nikki I will, thank you for reading!

anna Ahhhh Nick&Nia 4 effin eva!lol.

emiko Coming right up!

JJ Got one on the way.

Tavita K Lol Byron is fictional, but in my head he's mighty sexy!
******Listen to 'Impossible' by Musiq Soulchild******

Nicks POV

Amber was with her family at the hospital waiting to see what was going on with her sister. I was tired because I had spent the first hours of my Saturday morning up at the hospital consoling her. I rolled over too much and hit the floor with a bang.

"Damnit." I rubbed my shoulders and winced at the pain shooting up my arm.

Looking up at the bed I decided I was too tired and sore to try to get back up there. Instead I rolled on the floor until my bare chest pressed against the rough carpet of my bedroom. Thinking back to the day she called me I remembered going to her apartment.

What I remember the most was her screaming and praying that her cousin wouldn't die. I had known for some time that her cousin (Therisa) was sick with cancer and even though it had been gone for a while, it came back and was in remission.

I just didn't realize how bad it really was. I held her in my arms and shooshed her so that she would fall asleep, but she wanted to go to the hospital to see her.

Hospitals always scared me, it made me think of death the moment I walked in, and to see her twenty year old cousin, thin with ashy dark skin and parched lips....eyes fluttering open, closed, open closed, cut the cake.

I was just as nervous as she was, which explained why I raced to the door half-naked at the sound of banging.

"Y-"

Nia stood there breathing heavy. Eyes and face wet with tears, her chest moving up and down violently and her hair wind-blown and soft caressing the sides of her cheeks with gentle curved ends.

"H-hey." She spoke breathlessly.

"Hey...what's up?"

Her eyes darted wildly into my apartment and I stepped back slightly.

"Are you alone?"

I shrugged, "Yeah...he's somewhere screwing, stealing, beefin..."

"Can I come in?"

"Oh...yeah."

I closed the door behind her and turned to see her make a bee line to my room.

Man who told....

"You alright?" I asked as I sat down on my bed and watched her fan herself.

She looked crazy...and good at the same time. Sounded sick, but she looked good, breathless, windblown and erratic...

Sick man.

"No....I'm not."
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Nia's POV
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I could see it in his eyes. He knew I knew! Why wasn't he doing anything? Why was he sitting there still, motionless eying me with concern?

"I know you KNOW NICK!"

He shrugged and looked down at his hands.

"Byron told me-"

"That b*tch." He muttered.

"No, why didn't you tell me? Nick, I still love you."

He looked up briefly and our eyes met for only a moment and then he looked down again.

"Really? Didn't seem like it."

How could I make him see that my feelings had never changed for him and that I loved him just as much as I did that night at the park Halloween night.

"Because two years ago I fell in love with you and I never had the strength to fall out!"

There I was crying my heart out to him and all he could do was bob his head and pick at his nails! That's what really pissed me off.

"Ok." He mumbled.

Yeah mumbled.

"Are you f*cking kidding me?!" I roared.

I was hot pissed, a firecracker about to light it up in a minute. Hot angry tears slipped down my cheeks, like pools of water flowing from my eyes. My heart was full and heavy, breaking, aching and he didn't care about it.

"I love you, and you don't care? You don't feel the same way do you? Whatever, just whatever."

I spun around and headed to the door. His hand gripped my wrist hard and pulled me back. He sat on the bed, his legs dangling over it and me right in front of him. Nick took my hands and looked up at me slowly and steadily.

"I do love you, I do. I do....but I can't do anything about this."

I hiccupped a fresh batch of tears.

"No, no. Stop. Please don't cry.'

I pulled at my arm, "Let me go. Let me go. I should've never came."

He pulled back, "Stop it Nia, you gonna hurt yourself. Listen to me."

"To hell if I will! I'm leaving!"

He wouldn't let go so I bit his wrist and he yanked his hand away freeing me in the process. I raced to the door, but he slammed it back closed and locked it.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Nick? What did you just say? Repeat what you just said cuz I don't understand! I'm helping you!"

"Nia, I love you! Stay for a minute please, let me talk!"

I pushed at his bare chest and dug my fingernails into his skin.

"So now we're lying? I don't give a damn anymore. I'm trying to leave."

"No!" He shouted.

I leaned into his face and shouted, "YES!"

My eyes were still open when I felt the pressure of his lips against mine and his arms encircling my waist until I was pressed up against him and his bedroom door. My eye lids fluttered before closing as Nick fed on my lips and crumpled the back of my tunic in his right fist. Personally I wouldn't have been making out with a girl whose face was wet with tears and had puffed up dramatically. Then again I'm a girl....I make out with guys....because I'm...you know....hetero.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." He murmured against my lips.
And I felt something wet against my own face.

His tears.
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Nick's POV
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My hands moved from her shirt to the back of her head. I pressed my palms gently against her ears as I kissed her. She didn't respond, her lips didn't move under mine as I expected.

When the shock had worn off, her palms pushed away at my abs and Nia moved her face from side to side.

"Stop it!" I held her as she slid down the door trying to escape my kisses.

I just wanted her to kiss me back, and I wanted my tears to be worth something.

We fell to the floor me still kissing her where I could, her cheek, her neck, her forehead. It had been so long since I had tasted her skin and I couldn't control myself.

"I SAID STOP!" The palm of her hand flew across my cheek and landed with a SMACK.

My ears rang as I fell back and she pressed her back against the door. Her mouth opened slowly and shaped into an 'O'. Her hand reached upwards until it pressed against her mouth as she muffled a dry cry.

Rejection again. I rubbed at my cheek and sighed heavily.

"Ni-"

"No." I cut her off and fell on my back, "I'm sorry, you did nothing. It was me...leave."

My monotone voice depressed me even for a moment. I closed my eyes and waited to hear her footsteps.

Cool fingers touched my cheeks and I looked up to see Nia crouched over me. Her face still wet with tears and her lips opening and closing softly.

"What..."

"I don't know what to do." She whispered.

I patted the space next to me and she laid there, I closed the space in between us until her back was pressed against my abs and my arms held her close to my body.

"Breathe, just breathe."
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After she fell asleep I dragged the blanket off my bed and my two pillows. I shifted her gently so that she lay on one pillow and I did too, then I threw the blanket over the both of us and held her as she snored softly.

I rested my head on her neck and thought about what I had to do.
I know what I wanted to do.

I wanted to call Amber and tell her it was over...not because I didn't care for her, but because I cared for someone so much more. I could see me and Nia together again, happy, renewed walking hand in hand....my baby growing in her belly.

Then I saw Amber...alone, sad, distraught. Her cousin was already on her deathbed, why would I make it worse by leaving her for my ex?

What could I do?

What did I have to do?

With the rising sun I got my answer....my phone rang. Nia stirred from her sleep and rolled around in my arms to smile at me.

The phone stopped ringing, and then started up again.

"You should get that." She murmured sleepily.

I smiled back as I answered the phone.

"Hello."

"Nick?"

Damn...Amber.

"Yeah babe what's up?"

Nia's eyes dropped from my face to the space in between us now.

"I called you Nick! Where the hell have you been?!"

I knitted my eyebrows in concern. She was crying again.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

Nia cringed and played with the carpet. I held her hand for a moment, but she slowly pulled it away.

"Nick. She's not getting any better! The doctor said there's nothing that can be done! Baby, where you at? I need you.." She broke off crying, hysterical.

"I'm coming, ok I'm coming, babe."

I hung up the phone and Nia jumped up prepared to leave.

"Hey, hey." I caught her arm and pulled her towards me.

Her eyes were wild again.

"Yeah?"

I moved to kiss her but she pressed her hands against my lips.

"Morning breath." She explained.

But that wasn't the only thing. Her guard was up again, what had happened the night before was being erased from her memory as we spoke.

I nodded and went into the restroom hurrying to brush my teeth and wash my face. I took a quick shower and threw on a white tee and loose denim jeans.

"Hey imma drop you off, but we'll talk later ok?"

She nodded and went into my restroom. I heard gargling and then the sound of liquid splashing against the sink bowl.

"Let's go."

She took my hand and led me to my own car.

"Soooo I'm the driver right?"

"Yeah, I'm just helping you to hurry. You have to get to your girlfriend right?"

I stopped and looked at her.

"Nia, I wanna talk about that."

"No." She shook her head and gave me a plastic smile.

"You need to go, she needs you. We'll talk about whatever it is later."
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I kissed her as soon as I stopped the car and she kissed back finally. I gently pressed her lips apart and she let me. I cradled her head in my hands as I tasted her lips for maybe the last time. When we pulled away, she smiled at me shyly and raced out the car slamming my door and running into the apartment building.

I shook my head at the whole situation....I was once again a cheater...cheating with the same girl twice over.

I pushed that thought to the back of my mind as I rushed to make my way to the hospital.

If I had the choice of not going to the hospital, I would've taken it....because as soon as I made my way into the sick room...

She died.

At the exact moment I walked in. She looked around briefly and when her eyes locked with mine her last breath left her and Amber crumpled to the floor.

I dropped to the floor next to Amber and held her small body to mine as she cried out in pain and agony.

Life would never be the same.