Butterflies, Regrets and Strange Kisses: Chapter 10 - I'm Sorries

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Special apologies to the people who commented and their comments were deleted. I seriously don't know what's up with that! I did remember one name Ani....sorry they deleted your comment and the other person's name I can't remember! I'm sorry to you too.

Sahithi- I know right, oh I'm 19 years old, lol I wish I were a much better writer, but thank you so much for saying that. I wish I could one day.

Tavita K- There's so many trifling people they'll do anything for attention. yeah she did....ummm can't tell you that, but you will like the chapter after this....lol I think. Ahhhh don't scream cuz then I'll have to scream with youuuuu. Haha happy readings!
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Nicks POV
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I blinked...once, twice trying to take in the words.

'We never had sex'

Wow.

I pressed the palms of my hands flat against my face rubbing up and down slowly and then faster and faster.

This b*tch....

F*cked up my relationship...

And.I.LET.HER.

I exploded.

"WHY THE F*CK WOULD YOU DO THAT? HUH?"

My hands were now at my sides clenched into hard fists. I looked around the room for something to punch, anything but her.

"I'm s-"

"No SHUT THE F*CK UP! YOU DON'T GET A CHANCE TO TALK YOU PSYCHO B*TCH. WHY THE F*CK WAS I EVER FRIENDS WITH YOU!"

I slapped my hands against her front door and pressed my forehead against the wood, taking in deep long breaths. Hot tears were pressing against my eyelids, but I pushed them back, I wouldn't cry. No.

"N-Nick. I'm so sorry. I can't apologize enough to you."She wasn't whimpering and crying anymore in fact her voice had grown stronger.

"I don't give a damn what you have to say." I muttered against the door.

"Forgive me please."

I pushed away from the door and turned around to look at her. Her thick curls were all over her head, her face was streaked from the tears, cheeks puffy, pretty eyes swollen, lips quivering....and her hands resting on her growing mound.

Did she deserve forgiveness?

I laughed out loud. She wasn't fooling me with this brand new act of 'Ms. Do Right'. Hell no.

"You expect me to forgive you?"

She nodded her head, "Please, forgive me."

"Even though you started all this sh*t between me and Nia. You broke us up ....and for what???"

"For you." Tears slid down her cheeks and her lips began to quiver at an uncontrollable rate.

"I did it for you...because I wanted you, and I wanted you to want me."

I shook my head. She did all this for that? For that? Hell she could've told me, and I would've said 'no, I have a girlfriend and I love her.'

But I let it happen. Yeah I did. My fault as well.

"Nia....was my heart....and I allowed you to come in my life and rearrange everything...."

I was speaking to myself more so than to her.

"I used to feel that way for you....but I don't anymore. Nick I can fix this, let me talk to her."

She grabbed my hands and shook them.

"Please." She begged.

I shook my head and pulled my hands slowly out of her grasp. I was dumbfounded, all the anger was gone and there was only sadness.

"I have a girlfriend Ivy, a girlfriend. And she's not Nia."

"I'm so sorry."

She ran her fingers through her hair and grabbed handfuls as she begin to cry and shriek in agony. It was amazing really....at first I took it for an act, but then I could see her growing weaker with each sob.

"Hey hey hey!" I caught her before she crumpled to the ground and slowly helped her walk to her bedroom.

"I know im a bad person. I really am sorry, I don't know what was wrong with me. You and Nia belong together..."

She became repetitious with it, even as I helped her onto her bed and underneath the blankets she still said 'I'm sorry.'

"Shhhh."

As angry as I was I couldn't allow her to get so upset, she had a child to look after now.

"I forgive you Ivy, I forgive you."

She nodded, her eyes slowly closing with the words 'I'm sorry' leaving her lips. After a minute she was asleep, and I was confused.

Moments ago I had been pissed at the girl and now I was putting her to sleep????

It felt like the right thing to do, even though I was still shocked.
The question 'What will I do?' played over and over again in my head as I made my way over to Nia's.
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Nia's POV
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I hopped out of bed like a soldier prepared to shoot. The frantic knocking had scared me out of a dreamless slumber....and it was late....or getting late as the sun finally rested. I staggered to the front door in my grey sweat pants and black tank top....looking a hot mess I suppose.

Knock, knock, KNOCK! That damn knocking just would not stop!

"Wait a MINUTE!"

I swung the door open prepared to yell a string of curses.

"Nick?" I said surprised. I hadn't seen him in a week and I hadn't planned on seeing him anytime soon.

"Hey." He smiled...or some weird nervous smile. It was really creepy.

He was jumping, jittery, shoving his hands in and out of his pockets.

"You ok?" I backed away from him a little bit.

If he was turning crazy, I wasn't about to get what he was giving.

"Uh yeah, can I come in?"

I nodded and held the door open for him to walk in.

"Ok..."He pressed his fist against his mouth and bit a knuckle.

"Um...you sure you're ok?"

He was wild-eyed, and his growing mustache and goatee made him look all the wilder.

"I don't know how you're gonna take this."

"However you want to give it....is fine."

"I w-"

His phone went off and he pulled it out of his pocket. He let out a long sigh and held his head back before looking at the phone...I guess debating if he should answer it.

"Aren't you gonna answer that?"

He didn't answer, he just looked at the phone until it stopped ringing.

"I sp-" He started again, but the phone started again as well. That time he answered it.

"Hey b-....what? I'm s-....don't cry, don't cry. I'll be right there...shhhh, it's ok. Yeah, don't go anywhere."

I stared at him curiously. Whoever it was, had made him calmer, he wasn't moving nervously anymore. He was stable...ish?

"And you were saying?" I asked.

"Never mind, it's not important anymore. I'll see you later."

Nick rushed to the front door, "Wait but I th-"

I had't even gotten the sentence out before he was racing down the hallway and getting on the elevator.

Ugh....weird much?

It's ok....leave Nia all confused and ish....she's used to it.
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Two days went by and I hadn't seen Nick. I was worried about him, so I sent him a couple of texts, but he didn't reply to any of them.

But I got my answer why later....

Auntie had always warned me about walking late at night, but I needed the walk. I had a test coming up soon and I needed some physical release from all that studying. I suppose it wasn't safe because random dudes who didn't even go my university found a way into the on campus apartments and would just chill and sit.

Was I afraid of rape???

Most definitely...but I was also afraid for my sanity.

"Say li'l mama let me whisper in ya earrrrrr."

I picked up the pace and continued walking around the apartments on the sidewalk.

"Ayyy sweetness. Nice a** and hips. Shawtyyyy a dime, top of the line, cute face lil waist with a big behind. Ay you ain't got nothing back there though." Another guy called out.

I couldn't see what they looked like, because they had on black t-shirts and were hidden somewhere in the dark....well on top of their old hoopties under the broken lights.

I mentally assessed what I looked like. My fitted blue skinny jeans always gave me a butt...I don't know what they were talking about....and paired with my white off the shoulder tunic I was cute.

"Ain't nobody talking to yo ugly a** anyway. She ain't got no a**."

"Oh yeah! That ain't what yo daddy said last night!" I yelled at the dark figures.

"B*tch come over here and say it to my face."

Instead I flipped them the bird with two hands holding them up high as I walk.

"That's what y'all can do to yourselves! Cuz its obvious you ain't getting none!"

Me and my big mouth!

I felt someone grab me from behind.

"Chill its Byron. Haha. You got a big a** mouth for someone walking alone."

Thank God. I breathed out in relief and gave Byron a side glance.

"Ay yo, I'm hood, you don't know where I'm from. 'Real talk I slay N*gga's'." I quoted Kevin Hart at the end and laughed along with Byron.

"Oh homely a** b*tch f*cked up body."

I rolled my eyes at that one.....weren't they just telling me how much of a dime I was earlier? Smh.

"Ay shut the f*ck up!" Byron roared.

We kept walking, and the further we walked away the less we could hear them cursing and screaming vulgar things at me.

"I got something to tell you."

I snorted, "As long as you don't pull a Nick. He had something to tell me too, but he didn't."

"First I have to say I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked looking ahead at the rare one or two passing cars and bright street lights.

"I'm so sorry."

"Ahhhhhh. Tell me the damn thing already!"

I really hated for people to beat around the bush. It was soooo annoying.

"I talked to Nick, he's going through some stuff."

"Aren't we all...."

"Yeah but....alright Imma tell you. Ivy lied."

"About...seems like she lied about a lotta stuff."

"He didn't tell me to tell you...but I thought I should...since it was my fault in the first place."

I scrunched my face up before looking up at the purple-black sky and the twinkling stars.

"Ivy and Nick never had sex. It was all a lie...she lied. She told him she lied.....It makes sense really."

Whoa...

I touched my chest and rubbed the area hard between my breasts where tension was gathering.

"Wha..." I repeated breathlessly.

"He never cheated on you."

"Oh God."

I fanned my face as an anxiety attack overtook me, flashbacks.....so many flashbacks overwhelmed me. Me perched on top of Nicks car daring him to come and get me.......secret nights sleeping on his bedroom floor when I should've been at home, our first kiss, the first time I said I loved him.

"You ok?"

I moved my hands faster and blinked back the tears building up under my eyelids.

"yeah, I'm fine, really, really. I'm fine. Really fine. I'm great. Great. Great. Great!"

Byron moved closer and touched my shoulder blade lightly. His eyes, the sadness in them, regret and guilt made me think about all the things I should've done. I should've stayed with Nick, I should've investigated more. I should've done more.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Nia, I didn't know. I promise. I didn't mean-"

"No, no, it's ok." A hysterical laugh left my throat as hot tears slid down my cheeks.

I had to see him, I had to see him and say I was sorry.

"I'm so sorry." I muttered to myself.

"About what?"

I bent my head, "I'm so sorry. Nick I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Nia...." Byron moved closer and watched me cautiously, "Don't do anything stupid, please."

"I won't I won't I promise. I'm ok,

I wiped the tears away from my eyes, and felt it again, that gnawing sensation. Death.

"No, I'm not ok! I'm not! I have to go, right now!"

I gave him an apologetic look as I left the area around my apartment building, and I ran. I ran as fast as my legs could take me. Those skinny jeans couldn't have been any stretchier the way they moved with my body. Thighs pumping, feet pounding against the gravel, pavement, sidewalk all the way to my man's apartment.

Nick, nick, nick....the sweetest words I ever could have uttered....and I must've screamed them inside my head.

I just hoped he would forgive me...and I hoped he would love me again.