Butterflies - Chapter Two

It's been a month since mom's death. Nothing has changed though; for me anyway. Dad and Grayson try to pass the slow days with strained smiles. I honestly try too as well; it just looks so much more retarded on me. The quietness at home is deafening, it hurts too much. The only thing keeping it from being is the television set mumbling one story down, left to entertain no one.

But it's not as if we're distant from another, not too distant anyway. We still have our regular family dinner at 7:30. Just how mom used to like it. A family that eats together stays together, she used to say. Used to. She can't anymore. Because she's dead. So have our souls. I sound so bloody depressed; I'm not. I just don't want to let go or move on.

School's worse. The pitiful teachers and whispering kids, all spreading grins and smiles everywhere. They all come up to me, thinking that I want to talk about it; as if they're all psychiatrists. I sit through lunch, often mumbling and grinning at my best friend: Alana. I think that she is the only reason to why I'm still coping and sane; her glistening brown eyes always energetic.

But right now she's at home with her two 3-year-old twin brothers. So I'm stuck in my lilac colored walls of a bedroom, listening to dimmed music. I feel calm, watching the city through my large transparent open window. It's a beautiful night. Black velvet has been glued to the sky, studded with silver stars.

"Hey you." I hear. I turn to see Grayson leaning against my door frame, slightly smiling.
"Hey." I replied, grinning. He always did make me happy. He chuckled and walked over to sit on my bed in front of me. He always was a ladies' man, with his tousled ash brown hair and striking green eyes with a perfect complexion. Not to mention the high cheekbones and dominant jaw line. "How you doing?" He asked me, concern lurking through every word. I fake laughed, for his sake. Older Brother. "What a question. You see me everyday. I'm perfectly fine, see!" I spread my arms and legs wide for a pathetic demonstration. I giggled to myself, frowning when I saw the worry all over his face.

"What?"
"Nothing. Serenity, you've got to let go and move on. You can't just cling to this forever. "He hushed. I looked down to my fists, grabbing onto my woolen sweater. "I'm not." I grumbled.
"Whatever! You're like the worst liar ever." He snickered.
"I am so not!" I protested, my cheeks flaring into a crimson shade from being caught in my act. He laughed even louder; causing me to groan in distress. He slowly started to compose himself, making me grin. "Okay fine. When was the last time you had a friend over?" He asked.
"Oh please! I was never oh so popular to always have friends around." I stated
"You know that's not what I meant. What 'bout Alana?"
"She's busy." I quickly said.
"Everyday?" Gosh, he always has an answer for everything; all the right buttons to press. I didn't reply. "That's what I thought." He said, looking as smug as ever.

"When was the last time you had a girl over?" I questioned. He stopped, his smile faltering slightly. Slightly. "You know that's not going to happen," he whispered. "Not until Tanya comes back."
"So you can hold onto the belief that a girl who left you six months ago is going to come back, but I can't hold onto mom's memories forever?" I argued. He sighed, running his hands through his tousled brown hair. "There's a difference."
"How so?"
"Because she's alive Serenity!" He yelled. I froze, taken aback from what was said. So did Grayson. "I know." I stuttered.

It was silent for a couple of minutes. An awkward feeling took over the air, this feeling never being between us two siblings. I felt the bed lower next to me, a warm arm suddenly enveloping me into a bear hug. I let my guard down and snuggled into his chest. "I'm sorry." He whispered into my hair. I sighed deeply. "I'm sorry too. Look, can we just... Can we just start over? There's a small art workshop in town, maybe I can go there after school?" I asked, mumbling into his chest.
"That's perfect! I'll pay for it you want, drive you there after school." He listed. I smiled, happiness glowing through my body from giving him and my dad what they always have wanted for the past two months. Me; back to my normal self. He enveloped me into another brotherly hug, making me laugh loudly.

The creak of the stairs reached my bedroom, a booming laugh making us turn around. My dad stood there, hands on hips and all; a 'Stand back, Dad's cooking!' apron over his flat stomach. "I see you both are happy, what's the celebration?" He chuckled. I watched Grayson ecstatically tell Dad our conversation, leaving out our discussion about Mom. I raised my eyebrows, making faces behind Grayson's back, admiring how dad stifled his laughs. "Well you are quite the artist. But you've gotta have a full stomach to work. Dinner's set."

After dinner and adorning myself with SpongeBob pajamas, I let my head fall onto my white pillow, my blurred thoughts in a tumble. "I'm starting over," I whispered to myself in the comforting dark. "For Dad and Grayson. For Mom. For me." I felt my eyelids go heavy, slowly closing my portal to the world.
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