Bulls

We decide to enter the field with the bulls.

The stench isn't encouraging. You wouldn't want to linger here.

I take the lead. "Look, I'll climb over first and you can bring the kids to me." One by one she brings the kids over - smallest first. I wait in a sea of cow dung trying to ignore the fact that the bulls have done a 360 on us. We might not get out of here. Reuben starts to fret and Karen tells him to 'shut it'. She tells him that she's worked with bulls for years! This is bizarre. Have you? I'm too preoccupied to ask for evidence, but feel faintly encouraged that I'm in the hands of an expert.

We usher the kids to the side of the field and walk purposefully towards the far gate. It seems a long way off. The bulls do not give up. I wait expectantly for Karen's expertise to show through. It doesn't. I'm at the back, protecting the kids and beginning to wish that I hadn't chosen such a position of honor. As we quicken our pace, so do the bulls. They are in front, to the side and behind. Some of them are snorting. I don't really like that. I wish the little kids could walk more quickly but they haven't sensed the urgency yet. I look to Karen. She has quickened her pace. She doesn't like it either. Some of them are stamping. The kids begin to panic. There's a gate on the left. We break into a run. The bulls do not leave us. Lisa climbs over the gate and drops, relieved, onto the other side. Karen posts David over to her. She carries him to safety but has left her shoe in a well of cow dung. She crosses the terrain in her sock. Just looking at the errant shoe leaves me crippled with laughter. Karen's laughing so hard she can't get Reuben over the gate. Jo has decided that she can't wait for us to stop laughing and takes her safety into her own hands. I haven't seen her move so fast all week. She clears the gate and walks to the others. We look over to see her two yellow wellies disappearing into the dung. I forget my parental role entirely and succumb to agonizing laughter. This disturbs the bulls profoundly.

Karen is on the other side, wading through the slop. It's up to her knees, but she seems oblivious and is intent on getting the kids to 'dry land'. I am a useless, hysterical wreck. Anna is on the top of the gate. The bulls are sniffing her bottom. I am rocking the gate with my laughter. She teeters on the top, I can't help her. I remember the bulls and finally drag myself over. I take Anna with me. I scoop up the stray wellies and join the others - battle weary and covered from top to bottom in cow shit.

We collapse on the far gate and laugh until we're exhausted.