Broken Home - Chapter Ten
Things get kind of better, then worse..do the problems ever stop? Thank you for all your comments, I'm glad that you like my story, and im sorry it takes so long to get my chapters out, but im going to try harder!=] thank you and keep faith in me...and plz comment more? I hardly get any=]
KASSII POV
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It had been a couple of days since Jake had been to my house. A couple of days since he has called. A couple of days that I've even talked to anyone. I've spent most of my time in my room, just so I can stay out of everyone's way. Josh comes and checks in on me every once in a while. Tells me to get up and take care of myself. I laugh, because who cares? Nobody sees me..
*********
I stretched in my bed. I had just woken up, and for the first time in days my head felt a little more clear. Probably because last night was the first night I hadn't cried since I had broken up with Jake. I sighed and sat up. I didn't want to think about him right now, not first thing in the morning. I was in my yellow pajama pants and matching cami. I tied my hair up into a messy bun. I didn't care what I looked like really. I didn't have anyone around that I dressed up for. I grabbed my old school hoodie and slipped it on. I walked down the hall to the steps and went down into the kitchen. My flip flops were by the back door from last night, when I had taken the trash out. I hardly remembered it. I've been kind of out of it for the last few days. I slipped them on and walked out the door into the backyard. Josh was sitting by the pool with his feet in the water. I slowly walked up beside him, slipped off my flip flops, rolled up the bottom of my pajamas, and sat down sticking my feet into the pool water beside him. He turned and looked at me, squinting to see me because of the sun.
"Hey sis, you come out of the attic today?" he asked. He always called my room the attic, he's rarely been in it. I nodded looking down at the water. He sighed.
"How you feeling?" He asked. I looked across the pool to the lawn chair I had been laying in the day Jake had come outside to get me. My face burned from remembering how embarrassed I had been.
"I'm good. I'm okay. Just trying not to think about it you know? I made my decision, and now I have to stand by it. Yeah it sucks, but it's the best for him." I told Josh. I had said this to myself a million times the last few days. Josh shook his head.
"You know...why don't you ever try to do what's best for you? Instead of doing what you THINK is the best for everyone else? You don't know what everyone wants Kassii, you don't know what Jake wants. You didn't even give him a chance to be different. You didn't break up with him because you don't want to hurt him, you broke up with him because you don't want to get hurt. And that's bullshit Kassii, bullshit." Josh told me staring me in the eye. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. He was right, and there was nothing I could say. I turned away from him and stared at the water. I said nothing. A few minutes later I heard Josh stand up and go back inside. I still said nothing. I just stared at the water, holding the tears that I thought I had gotten rid of inside.
"Stupid Josh...stupid Jake...stupid boys." I said sniffing. I wiped my eyes. I didn't want to cry again. I had started to get up several times, but I didn't want to leave the pool. I had been sitting there for a while, maybe thirty minutes. I was really hungry. I was thinking this when I heard him.
"Wow really? Maybe I shouldn't come to talk." I heard a familiar voice say. I knew the voice, it was already memorized in my brain. Jake.
I turned and looked up. Jake was standing beside me. I felt my heart jump and my pulse race. Jake had that effect on me. Something about him was always so electrifying. I loved it. I stared at him, unable to think of anything to say. I couldn't think of anything and I was looking like an idiot. I settled on going back to staring in the pool, not looking at Jake. What was he doing here? Why is he here? I wanted to cry, scream, just fall asleep so I wouldn't be here right now. But I had to stay and see what he wanted, I couldn't run away. Jake sat down beside me.
"Is it okay if we talk Kassii?" He asked me quietly. I shook my head no.
"We talked a couple of days ago Jake. There isn't anything else I need to say. What are you even doing here this early in the morning?" I asked him. Short and stiff, I didn't want to cry by making a long speech to him.
"Ok, let me rephrase that. Can I talk to you Kassii? And you just listen to me? I called Josh this morning and told him I was coming over to talk to you. He answered the door and told me you were out back. Now can I please talk?" He asked me softly again. He was always so calm, and I'm such a mess. I looked over at him. No, he was not calm. I could see the anxiety in his eyes. The edgyness..It's been a long couple of days for him too. It bothered me, I had hoped he had gotten over me..well kind of. I ran my hand through my hair and nodded. I didn't trust myself to speak. He nodded back at me.
"Kassii, I know it's been a couple of days since you uh, broke up with me. But your all I've been able to think about. You didn't really give me a chance to tell you what I think about the whole situation. You told me and then broke up with me and I was so stunned that I had to leave to think about everything. But now I want you to listen to me Kassii Lyons. Your brother has called me every day to tell me how your doing. Kassii, this isn't right. Don't you think if we were supposed to be broken up we'd be doing better than this? Were both messes. I want to be with you. I don't care if you want to move, I'll go with you if you want. At this point, the only thing I want outta life is you. So wherever you go, I'll go. Unless you truly and honestly don't want me. But not because of this. We both deserve better than this. Please give me a chance." He told me staring me in the eyes. I was crying, crying hard. No guy had ever spoken to me like that. The look and pleading in his eyes let me know he was honest. I looked down and back up at him. He had turned his body to face me. I scooted closer to him.
"Jake, if you really do want to be with me. Even with all these home problems I have, then you gotta be crazy. But that's good, how many guys am I gonna find like that? Haha, but I do want to be with you. We'll stay together, and when it comes time for me to move out then we'll see where it takes us baby." I told him. He kissed me. A sweet kiss, a kiss that I had been missing and made everything feel okay again. He leaned back and wiped the tears from my eyes. He picked me up and carried me into the kitchen. Josh was standing there smiling. I patted Jake to put me down.
"Josh, thanks for letting me know you spied on me and told him every little move I made there ass!" I yelled smiling. I looked back at Jake. He put his arms around me. Josh's face turned red and he grinned wider.
"Hey, I just wanted to help. Obviously I did..Besides I couldn't stand you being a crybaby, so whiny." He said laughing. I smacked him on the arm as Jake picked me up again. I squeeled and Jake and Josh both laughed at me. Jake started to carry me into the living room, Josh following us. He swung me around in the foyer, I was giggling like a little girl. I was so happy when I was with Jake. What had I been thinking? We could take whatever came at us. I hoped at least.
Then my dad walked in. Jake was still holding me in his arms, my arms around his neck and laying my head on his shoulder. My dad's face turned red. He looked from me to Josh to Jake. I don't know if he was mad because Jake was holding me, or if it was the fact that it was me. I don't know, but the rest of that day was hell. And it all started with this.
"Jake, you get the hell outta my house. What do you think your doing with my daughter? What does this look like, a whorehouse?" He screamed at Jake. Jake put me down while trying to apologize. I was screaming at my dad to stop. Why does he have to be like that when it was totally innocent, we were all just playing around. Josh was yelling at dad to calm down and listen. And dad was yelling at all three of us. It was so loud. It was making my head spin. I felt light-headed. I hadn't ate much the last few days. The last thing I saw before hitting the ground was my dad yelling and Jake and Jake trying to calmly talk to my father with Josh in the background pulling on dad's arm to make him listen. Jake looked at me with concern.
"Kassii?" He said, sounding like he was in a tunnell. Then it all went black.
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It had been a couple of days since Jake had been to my house. A couple of days since he has called. A couple of days that I've even talked to anyone. I've spent most of my time in my room, just so I can stay out of everyone's way. Josh comes and checks in on me every once in a while. Tells me to get up and take care of myself. I laugh, because who cares? Nobody sees me..
*********
I stretched in my bed. I had just woken up, and for the first time in days my head felt a little more clear. Probably because last night was the first night I hadn't cried since I had broken up with Jake. I sighed and sat up. I didn't want to think about him right now, not first thing in the morning. I was in my yellow pajama pants and matching cami. I tied my hair up into a messy bun. I didn't care what I looked like really. I didn't have anyone around that I dressed up for. I grabbed my old school hoodie and slipped it on. I walked down the hall to the steps and went down into the kitchen. My flip flops were by the back door from last night, when I had taken the trash out. I hardly remembered it. I've been kind of out of it for the last few days. I slipped them on and walked out the door into the backyard. Josh was sitting by the pool with his feet in the water. I slowly walked up beside him, slipped off my flip flops, rolled up the bottom of my pajamas, and sat down sticking my feet into the pool water beside him. He turned and looked at me, squinting to see me because of the sun.
"Hey sis, you come out of the attic today?" he asked. He always called my room the attic, he's rarely been in it. I nodded looking down at the water. He sighed.
"How you feeling?" He asked. I looked across the pool to the lawn chair I had been laying in the day Jake had come outside to get me. My face burned from remembering how embarrassed I had been.
"I'm good. I'm okay. Just trying not to think about it you know? I made my decision, and now I have to stand by it. Yeah it sucks, but it's the best for him." I told Josh. I had said this to myself a million times the last few days. Josh shook his head.
"You know...why don't you ever try to do what's best for you? Instead of doing what you THINK is the best for everyone else? You don't know what everyone wants Kassii, you don't know what Jake wants. You didn't even give him a chance to be different. You didn't break up with him because you don't want to hurt him, you broke up with him because you don't want to get hurt. And that's bullshit Kassii, bullshit." Josh told me staring me in the eye. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. He was right, and there was nothing I could say. I turned away from him and stared at the water. I said nothing. A few minutes later I heard Josh stand up and go back inside. I still said nothing. I just stared at the water, holding the tears that I thought I had gotten rid of inside.
"Stupid Josh...stupid Jake...stupid boys." I said sniffing. I wiped my eyes. I didn't want to cry again. I had started to get up several times, but I didn't want to leave the pool. I had been sitting there for a while, maybe thirty minutes. I was really hungry. I was thinking this when I heard him.
"Wow really? Maybe I shouldn't come to talk." I heard a familiar voice say. I knew the voice, it was already memorized in my brain. Jake.
I turned and looked up. Jake was standing beside me. I felt my heart jump and my pulse race. Jake had that effect on me. Something about him was always so electrifying. I loved it. I stared at him, unable to think of anything to say. I couldn't think of anything and I was looking like an idiot. I settled on going back to staring in the pool, not looking at Jake. What was he doing here? Why is he here? I wanted to cry, scream, just fall asleep so I wouldn't be here right now. But I had to stay and see what he wanted, I couldn't run away. Jake sat down beside me.
"Is it okay if we talk Kassii?" He asked me quietly. I shook my head no.
"We talked a couple of days ago Jake. There isn't anything else I need to say. What are you even doing here this early in the morning?" I asked him. Short and stiff, I didn't want to cry by making a long speech to him.
"Ok, let me rephrase that. Can I talk to you Kassii? And you just listen to me? I called Josh this morning and told him I was coming over to talk to you. He answered the door and told me you were out back. Now can I please talk?" He asked me softly again. He was always so calm, and I'm such a mess. I looked over at him. No, he was not calm. I could see the anxiety in his eyes. The edgyness..It's been a long couple of days for him too. It bothered me, I had hoped he had gotten over me..well kind of. I ran my hand through my hair and nodded. I didn't trust myself to speak. He nodded back at me.
"Kassii, I know it's been a couple of days since you uh, broke up with me. But your all I've been able to think about. You didn't really give me a chance to tell you what I think about the whole situation. You told me and then broke up with me and I was so stunned that I had to leave to think about everything. But now I want you to listen to me Kassii Lyons. Your brother has called me every day to tell me how your doing. Kassii, this isn't right. Don't you think if we were supposed to be broken up we'd be doing better than this? Were both messes. I want to be with you. I don't care if you want to move, I'll go with you if you want. At this point, the only thing I want outta life is you. So wherever you go, I'll go. Unless you truly and honestly don't want me. But not because of this. We both deserve better than this. Please give me a chance." He told me staring me in the eyes. I was crying, crying hard. No guy had ever spoken to me like that. The look and pleading in his eyes let me know he was honest. I looked down and back up at him. He had turned his body to face me. I scooted closer to him.
"Jake, if you really do want to be with me. Even with all these home problems I have, then you gotta be crazy. But that's good, how many guys am I gonna find like that? Haha, but I do want to be with you. We'll stay together, and when it comes time for me to move out then we'll see where it takes us baby." I told him. He kissed me. A sweet kiss, a kiss that I had been missing and made everything feel okay again. He leaned back and wiped the tears from my eyes. He picked me up and carried me into the kitchen. Josh was standing there smiling. I patted Jake to put me down.
"Josh, thanks for letting me know you spied on me and told him every little move I made there ass!" I yelled smiling. I looked back at Jake. He put his arms around me. Josh's face turned red and he grinned wider.
"Hey, I just wanted to help. Obviously I did..Besides I couldn't stand you being a crybaby, so whiny." He said laughing. I smacked him on the arm as Jake picked me up again. I squeeled and Jake and Josh both laughed at me. Jake started to carry me into the living room, Josh following us. He swung me around in the foyer, I was giggling like a little girl. I was so happy when I was with Jake. What had I been thinking? We could take whatever came at us. I hoped at least.
Then my dad walked in. Jake was still holding me in his arms, my arms around his neck and laying my head on his shoulder. My dad's face turned red. He looked from me to Josh to Jake. I don't know if he was mad because Jake was holding me, or if it was the fact that it was me. I don't know, but the rest of that day was hell. And it all started with this.
"Jake, you get the hell outta my house. What do you think your doing with my daughter? What does this look like, a whorehouse?" He screamed at Jake. Jake put me down while trying to apologize. I was screaming at my dad to stop. Why does he have to be like that when it was totally innocent, we were all just playing around. Josh was yelling at dad to calm down and listen. And dad was yelling at all three of us. It was so loud. It was making my head spin. I felt light-headed. I hadn't ate much the last few days. The last thing I saw before hitting the ground was my dad yelling and Jake and Jake trying to calmly talk to my father with Josh in the background pulling on dad's arm to make him listen. Jake looked at me with concern.
"Kassii?" He said, sounding like he was in a tunnell. Then it all went black.
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