Bridal Shower Etiquette

No one knows how the custom of bridal showers started, but there is a story behind it, though not the precise version because no one knows that for sure.

Here is how it goes: a poor Dutch girl was living in an era of the dowry system and she was in love with a poor miller. Her father did not approve of her love interest and refused to give her the necessary dowry. Now she was in a bit of a fix, but the townsfolk were curious yet helpful. So they all came one at a time bearing gifts that were household items with the idea of setting up a household for them. This seemed like a good plan, but it was missing one important thing…romance! So these townsfolk decided to have a party for the bride so as to give her the gifts. And this is how bridal showers came into existence.

Though times have changed and the brides of today are not like that innocent Dutch girl, the trend of Bridal showers hasn’t. They are still the same, parties with lots of gifts, the only thing that changed is the fact that not all the townsfolk come, and the guests are only close friends and family. Though the bridal shower is one big fun filled party, there are some bridal shower etiquettes. The biggest question about bridal showers are how many can one bride have? This is important, as no bride wants to look like she is greedy for gifts, but if she has friends who have conflicting interests, she is put in a difficult spot where she ends up having more that one bridal shower.

The bride needs to make sure she has chosen her bridesmaids and maid of honor before the wedding. This makes things easier, as these are the people who are going to be hosting the bridal shower. Make sure these pretty ladies have access to your address book and guest list so they know whom to invite and how to get in touch with them. Also remember that a bridal shower is an expensive affair, so there is no point in having endless bridal showers, one or two for different groups of people should suffice. The trend of two bridal showers is catching up, the popular trend is an office bridal shower where colleagues who are not invited for the wedding want to throw you a party, and the out of town shower is for those friends and family members who can’t make it for your primary bridal shower.

Rules for Bridal shower or Bridal shower etiquette

• Hosting the bridal shower – mostly it is the maid of honor along with the bridesmaids hosts the bridal shower. And in any case the maid of honor cannot host the bridal shower, then she along with the bridesmaids should come up with an alternate solution. And if there is a case where more than one bridal shower needs to be held, then the host for each will be different.
• Bridal Shower guest list – those that are invited for the wedding shower have to be invited for the wedding. It is rude if that person is expected to bring a gift for the bridal shower but isn’t included in the wedding itself. People that must be invited are: Mother of the bride and mother of the groom, Grandmothers of bride and groom, Aunts, Female cousins, Bridesmaids, Female friends, close and family friends and Female colleagues.
• Invites – all the guests should be sent a different invitation even if they live in the same house and are of the same family. The invitation card should be mailed at least a month in advance and should include the name of the bride, date, time, and venue of the bridal shower. It should also include contact information, a theme if any, registry information, and RSVP deadline (i.e. 2 weeks prior to the shower).
• Greeting – there has to be someone who greets the guests as they come for the shower, most often this is the hostess, but if she is busy with other things there should be someone else assigned to the task. She is the person who responsible for introductions and making guests comfortable.
• Games and Icebreakers – since the bridal shower will consists of people from different aspects of the brides life, they need to get to know each other to make the bridal shower fun. Icebreakers and games are a great way to have fun, and get to know each other.
• Bridal shower thank you notes – the hostess and another person should be responsible for sending out thank you notes to the entire guests for making the shower fun and for the gift. The bride needs to write these notes but the hostess and bridesmaids will help her in it. This should be done within 2 weeks of the bridal shower.

But behind all these rules and bridal shower etiquettes is the idea of having fun.