Breakup Causes and Saving Broken Relationships

There are a number of 'hot' topics that can drive a couple apart, but top of the list are these three: Money, Sex and Children/Family.

Bear in mind, that these do not guaranteed to create a wedge between two people but when there are underlying issues in one or both persons, then these tend to be some of the common ones that surface.

Why would that be, you might ask?

Looking at the subjects above, there seems to be one underlying common theme, and that is one of control or power. When these subjects are 'clothed' or infused in love however, they take on a completely new meaning. These things then can be an expression of that love.

However, when love is immature, or there are 'hang-ups' that an individual has not dealt with or resolved, then they can be sources of contention as one person might struggle with the other to gain 'power' in the relationship. (This usually happens when that person has been hurt and that hurt has not healed so it 'invades' all parts of that person's life - it affects their perspective on life, it affects their attitude and consequently how they relate to others and in turn how others will relate back to them)

The underlying drivers of these behaviours are commonly fear or needs previously unmet. They are a form of survival mechanism on the deepest level of subconsciousness.The person is usually not aware of it other than a desperate need to be 'on top' as it were, to stop themselves from 'drowning' in a sea of anonymity or pain.

As there is a lot more information on these three topics/subjects that we can cover, I will leave them now and I will cover these one at a time in another article/s.

There are other things that can break up a couple, for example, taking each other for granted, not quite being as respectful as you once were, keeping secrets or more usual, just not being as open with each other as before. This can happen more slowly over time, rather than in one big bust-up!

You've heard the saying "familiarity breeds contempt" - well, it is true to some extent, but the converse can be true too, and that is, as you know someone more, you bond with and love them more too.

One of the ways to prevent this from happening is to realise and put into practice the need to keep 'courting' your partner. It is important to remember (frequently) the reasons why you love your soul mate and to say it or show it in many different ways often. It does not need to be a grand gesture. Here is an example: out of the blue come home with flowers, (girls, some guys love this, it is not just a 'girl' thing). Another example, when you see they are tired and tense, give them a gentle shoulder massage. And here's another one, get them to put their feet up for a while and you then 'pamper' them...you get the idea.

If your life is too busy for this, then you do not have a life and need to get one! What I mean is that, maybe if you are TOO busy, then it could be time to look at your priorities and change something, before it is too late. You may need to take time out and look at what is really important to you, and where do your relationships fit in your life...

Relationships are complex things made up of many simple choices and actions. There are many books and resources available to improve your understanding of how relationships work.

However, if you were looking for some specific techniques to rekindle a lost love or quickly prevent your current relationship from going further 'south', I would recommend this book, "The Magic of Making Up", written by a guy who has helped thousands of estranged couples reunite. You can find it here http://myrelationshiphelp.info