Boundaries in Relationships

The literal meaning of the word 'boundary' is the line which should not be crossed. For example, the boundary between two countries. The personal boundaries in relationships are important to make sure our peace of mind and identity. Setting these boundaries is necessary in many cases due to the over-dominating and aggressive behavior of the partner. Sometimes, one partner starts calling all the shots in a relationship and leaves the other as a mere spectator. He takes all the decisions without taking into consideration the opinion of the other partner. This can be very frustrating as one loses personal freedom and the right to voice our opinion. In the next few paragraphs, the importance of emotional boundaries in relationships has been explained in detail.

Importance of Boundaries in Relationships

Creating boundaries in relationships means being very clear about your likes and dislikes to your partner. You have to make your partner aware that you are an independent living being and would not tolerate excessive interference in your life. You should set proper limits and be very vocal about your rights and demands. In the absence of boundaries in relationships, the other partner might feel that you do not have any opinion of your own and can be 'handled easily'.

Domestic abuse, whether physical or mental, is a result of the lack of boundaries in relationship. In the cases of domestic abuse, the oppressor takes it for granted that his partner should follow his instructions and stop his/her individual thinking process. The mistake which the abusive relationship victims commit is, to stay quiet for a long period of time till the situation finally gets out of hand. Instead, by reacting in an aggressive way at the right time, the oppressor can be made aware of his wrong deeds. Most of the time, the victims keep quiet because of intense fear and worries of what would happen if they react. A relationship can work only by respecting the boundaries set by each other. You should remember that there is a very thin line between your duties and the boundaries set in a relationship.

How to Set Boundaries in Relationships?

Now, having understood the importance of respecting boundaries in relationships, let us understand how to set boundaries in relationships. While establishing boundaries in relationships, you should communicate with your partner in a very straight forward way. Place your demands in front of him and tell him what you expect from him. Explain to him with reasons, why you are setting such boundaries and then see to it that he is okay with the boundaries set. Do not go ahead with the relationship till you get an affirmative answer from your partner, that he/she will honor the rules and regulations of the boundaries in the relationship. However, the boundaries in relationships are applicable for both you and your partner and hence, you should patiently listen what your partner wants from you. See whether you agree to the terms put forth by him/her and then take a decision accordingly. Given below are some of the practical or sensible boundaries to set in a relationship:

• I will not tolerate physical or emotional abuse under any circumstances.
• I will not tolerate deceiving or infidelity in the relationship.
• I should be given equal importance in the financial matters.
• I should not be forced to do the things which I do not like.
• I should have full freedom to meet people whom I like.
• I should be given full freedom to take all my career decisions on my own.

These were some important reasons for setting boundaries in relationships. Be practical and think twice before getting involved in a relationship.