Bonding with Your Kids

Father and Daughter Bonding

Young infants develop a strong attachment towards the mom. At this age, they are completely dependent upon her for their needs, such as being fed or being put to bed. It is only when they start growing older those children starting accepting the dad as a parent. Little boys, as they become aware of their common gender, begin to look upon the dad as a role model. However, little girls too form equally deep bonds with their fathers.

Here are some of the factors responsible for the close bond that daughters share with their fathers:

• First man in their life: The father is usually the first man in a little girl's life. Girls usually develop their idea of 'maleness' from their fathers, and this influences the way they will view other men in their lives. Fathers, thus, lay the groundwork for the type of relationship that their daughters will share with men later in their life.

• Self-evaluation: Young girls usually depend on their mothers to help them form their definition of 'womanhood'. However, a loving father is important to help a young girl develop self-esteem. His appreciation of her defines how she evaluates herself as a woman.

• Security: Fathers provide daughters with a sense of security. A warm and trusting relationship with her father makes a girl feel 'wanted,' and reassures her that she will always be protected from harm.

Father and Son Bonding

Babies, and children younger than two years of age, often express preference for the mom over the dad. However, this changes between the ages of two and four when children start to look upon the dad as a partner in play. Young boys, especially, look upon their dads as heroes and try to imitate the way they talk, dress, and act.

Here are some of the reasons for the father-son bond:

• Shared empathy: If little boys enjoy special closeness with their fathers, part of the reason is the common biological identity that they share. This mutual identification results in the development of a strong empathy between them.

• Role modeling: Dads play an important part in the development of their sons. The role of the father is, in fact, an important counterpart to the one played by the mother. Little boys look to their fathers for a representation of what 'manliness' means; this influence remains with them even as they grow up to become fathers themselves.

• Nurturing and authority: Being called upon to assume the father's role is a challenge. It compels men to review and redefine who they are themselves. In this sense, sons influence their fathers, by inducing them to develop their own sense of caring, responsibility, and paternal authority.

From the moment, you learned of your spouse's pregnancy, you have been coping with a strange new world. Read more about Fatherhood here.