Body Language - Can We Get Carried Away With the Rules

Smile. Look them in the eye. Don’t cross your arms. Don’t get too close. Use their body language. Don’t blink too much.

Everyone has something to say about how you present yourself. But sometimes I wonder if we can go to far.

I wonder if they don’t sometimes wonder if the guy looking them directly in the eye the whole time is well a little scary. If the the guy who smiles so much maybe just doesn’t have enough of a clue to know when he shouldn’t smile. If that guy who never blinks might be a robot.

I have known about all these little body language things for many years. I think we have all heard about them at some point or another. Hey, it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to tell me that when you smile, it relaxes people. But we don’t always do it. Sometimes we have to think about it. I wonder if that’s not just the worst thing in the world.

I mean, I know I shouldn’t cross my arms all the time. It seems like I’m mad or maybe in a power stance. And putting your hands on your hips is the same. But many is the time I have stood there with my arms dangling to my sides going, "I want to do something with my arms! I can’t just let them swing there! It feels too weird! I mean, they’re swinging, for God’s sake!"

And I know that people hate it (ok, well, I know that I hate it) when people answer the phone by saying what a great day it is before even saying hello. No one wants to hear someone that irrationally cheerful.

At the same time, I know that people do notice things like that—maybe just subconsciously, but they do. And I know I would rather work with someone who is pleasant to be around, and who makes me feel at east. That’s why I work for myself, after all. I just want to find that fine line between cheerful competence, and insane psychopath.