Behind the Spotlight - Prologue and Chapter 1

Prologue

The air was foggy in the back streets of London's best theater, there was work going on in there, a lot of work. A girl stumble out of the door into the cobbled street, coughing and throwing herself back into the dimly lit room that hid behind the heavy, metal, backstage door. Inside was a different story, going in through the main door two ornate staircases lead to the seating areas, but if you kept going down the corridor at the end of the lobby, the lights were lost but a sense of hard work and progress filled the space. A director sat in one of the audience seats on the front row, he was watching an extras dancer auditioning for a small part in his upcoming musical.

"Thank you, I have seen enough!" He bellowed standing up, he wasn't unkind but he needed things to speed along if they were to get the how running in just over a months time. "Alexia Crawford!" Another candidate stepped forwards and the director smiled encouragingly. "What part are you auditioning for?"
"I am auditioning for the part of the lead character's understudy." Alexia spoke clearly in the perfect stage voice. The director was immediately impressed and flattered the girl, he told her she had stage presence and asked her why she had only come for the part of the understudy.

"I did not want to audition at all, my parents are making me." Despite her anger at her parents she was quite enjoying being on stage. She knew she would not have to be on the stage in any of the performances and that made her happy, but she did enjoy learning the scenes and scripts. Everything about the theater amazed her, she was born to be on the stage, when she was younger she had been Mary in all of her schools Christmas performances of the Nativity. She relished being in the spotlight once more. Alexia was a tall girl and was much more mature than her age, at fifteen years old she was auditioning for the part of a nineteen year old in this years performance. She had a thin frame with a perfect figure and long golden hair that hung down her back. She had clear blue eyes and creamy unblemished skin. There was no doubt about whether she should be in the spotlight or not, it was taken as a given that a girl of this beauty with the talent she had should at least be on stage and may be even on camera at some point. Unfortunately while Alexia loved being on stage she wanted to be a nursery teacher when she was older. No one seemed to see that whatever she might do now she never picked for herself, her parents always chose what she did next and they wanted her to be a star. There was only one problem, she got terrible stage fright until she actually got on the stage. It made her ill. Gave her paranoia. But no matter what she always ended up on stage.

Chapter 1

I entered the royal London theater for the second time in my life, last time it was to audition but this time I actually got to meet the cast and see backstage! I was so excited and even better, my stage fright couldn't hurt a thing because I was an understudy. All I had to do was learn the script and watch the other actors and actresses do their jobs. I came in through the heavy back door and saw the plush red carpeted staircases that led in every direction. One lead to the dressing rooms, one lead to the performer's seating area, one lead to the dress circle. The last one lead to the stage, where I had been told to meet the director (Mr. Gordon) and the other performers. The plush red carpets were exactly as I had imagined, in my mind's eye i could see all the performers dressed in beautiful expensive costumes, running through lines with each other, having costume fitted and even just sitting backstage with coffee talking about their weekends. I couldn't wait to join them. I could see them all waiting patiently on stage for her and some of the other understudies to arrive before they were briefed about what was going to happen. I let these happy images fly through my head as I walked slowly down the staircase that lead to the stage, I pulled my hand along the wall as I walked, feeling the silky texture of the wall paper on the tips of my fingers. I could tell I was going to like it here. It had that sense of glamor about it that was always portrayed in television shows about show business, I had never believed it was real but then, seeing what I saw, there was nothing more realistic in the whole world.

I closed my eyes and followed the stairs down, I didn't notice the temperature slowly dropping and the place getting darker. I didn't see the half-finished paint job or feel the soft plush carpet becoming harder and harder as I got further down. I didn't even hear her own shoes click slightly on the bare wooden stairs. Sure enough when I reached the bottom of the stairs and opened my eyes I was shocked to see the half painted walls and wooden stairs but soon dismissed it as a problem that was being sorted, nowhere was perfect, right? My second shock of the day had come shortly after that, there was no one waiting for me on the stage, I entered the dimly lit seating area below and sat down, maybe I was early, maybe I was late. The room had no clock so I had no way of telling. I shivered, alone in the dingy seating area, it had looked much better with the lights switched on, being 15 my parents had let me come alone. Which I thanked them for, but I was wishing now that they had come, at least then I would have had someone to talk to. Then a familiar face walked onto the stage and spotted me in the audience.

"I did wonder when you were going to get here, Miss Crawford" came Mr Gordon's booming voice from on the stage, "I have already briefed everyone else, in short you are to go and sit in Rachel's dressing room. Rachel is playing the lead, do everything she tells you to and more for now."
My heart fell but promptly picked up again, it was after all only my first day and who new what Rachel would want me to do, maybe I would get to go to hair and make-up with her.
"Of course Mr Gordon" I replied and Mr Gordon winked at me before saying "That's my girl" and walking off.

I went back up the stairs loving how it went from the nasty, dingy half-finished paint work to the elegant, silky red carpets and wall paper. I got to the top and took the next staircase that led to the actors and actresses dressing rooms, I did not have to ask which one was Rachel's because the girl was standing outside it with a bath robe around her and she did not look impressed. Rachel was only a little taller than me and had short bleached blond hair and thick make-up. I was surprised that she could stand upright with that much make-up on. She had her arms folded across her chest and everything about her screamed important and unfortunately snobby.
"There you are!" she screeched at the top of her voice looking at me as though she was going to swing for me. Her brown eyes were burning holes in my face.
"M, me?" I replied, I was immediately terrified of this girl, I suddenly felt small and unimportant. Rachel's eyes zoomed in on me and softened.
"No, sweetheart, not you. That pratt stood behind you!" she said firing up again. I whirled around to see a small man stood behind her.

"Andre, where have you been? Look at what Terry has done to me! She has dressed me up like on of her chavvy friends!"
The man called Andre's eyes widened in horror as he took in Rachel's new make-up job.
"Come on, if I can get this stuff off we still have time to re-do it," she paused and looked at me "you've to come too. You can help me get rid of Terry."
We all entered Rachel's small dressing room and saw the girl named Terry. She was smaller than me and had the same make-up as Rachel. I could not tell what color her hair was, it had been dyed so many time that it had gone a grayish red color that looked repulsive. Terry saw the rest of us and left anyway, complaining about it being too crowded which solved me a problem considering I had been given the job of getting rid of her and had no idea how.

I learned quite quickly that the confines of Rachel's dressing room was where I would spend most of my time. I was eventually sent out to do a job, I had to go and make Rachel some coffee. It was THE most boring job on the planet but at least it was a job, my legs had started to go dead from sitting in the corner watching Rachel get her make-up done. I walked quickly, following the signs that led to the kitchen where I found a group of actors and actresses drinking alcohol. For the second time that day my heart sank, I wasn't good with people, especially people like this, I could see Terry among them and she snarled at me as I entered the room. It made me jump so much it was a good job I hadn't already got the coffee or it would have been all over the floor. The group laughed at me and carried on drinking and watching me through their masked eyes. I got the coffee and had almost made it to the door when my worst fear happened. One of the boys stepped forwards, a bottle on his hands and shouted

"Little girl, come over here a minute love." The rest of the group sniggered and I kept walking, opening the door as he shouted again, getting more and more angry, he leapt forwards and slammed the door shut before I could get out.
"What?" I said, timid as a mouse.
"Hey look, she has a voice! You want a drink love?" He asked pushing the bottle into my free hand and knocking the coffee onto the floor. He made wild gestures that indicated someone (presumably me) taking a drink from the bottle. I shook my head and gulped. The boy took my arm with the bottle in it and forced it upwards to my mouth, he forced the bottle through my lips made me take a gulp. He dropped my arm laughing with his friends as I spat it back out onto the floor and gasped for breath.

"Oh, look she made a mess, you're gonna have to clean that up princess!" He laughed but before he made me do anything else Rachel pushed her way into the room and started shouting the odds at the group.
"I have an idea, why don't you clean it up Nate and you can make me another coffee while you're at it!" She quietly added to me "come on, we're leaving while we can" and I followed her gratefully.
"Do not get mixed up with them, I won't always be here to look after you, you need to get some backbone!" She ended up shouting at me as if it was a team motivation speech. And she was staring hard at me having stopped half way to her dressing room, I felt myself shrinking under her stare and wishing I had some backbone. I had a feeling I would be learning to stand up for myself pretty soon.
"I...I,I have some backbone" I whispered feebly.

"Oh yeah, then why do you look like you're about to cry?" she laughed and then got a serious look on her face, "I have an idea, we're going back. Well, you're going back, not to get me my coffee. Though I'd love one, you're going to tell them what you think of them and stand up to them, then you can come back and be all happy and super for the rest of your time here." She finished seeming impressed with her plan she patted me on the back and continued walking. Oblivious to the fact hat I had frozen in horror a look of complete terror on my face. My feeble protests were barely audible over the beat of my heart as the fear took hold of me.

I walked back to the kitchen slowly, my feet feeling too heavy to even drag along behind me, I was too scared to go back but dreading my task. I hoped beyond hope that I would get there and they would be gone, terrorizing someone else. After all then it wouldn't be my fault that I couldn't find them. I had no such luck. I peeked through the small gap in the door where we had left it open before and was met by another eye. I jumped back fearfully, someone had put their eye to the other side of the gap when they saw me looking in. The door swung forwards and the imposing silhouette of the boy from earlier stood in the doorway. The color drained from my face and I was shaking.
"Look who's back, come to join us love?" he sneered at me and I cringed away as I had been burned.
"I...I, I came to s, say..." I swallowed
"Yes love, what did you want to tell us?" he said, knowing without a doubt that he had complete control of the situation, not to mention control over me. Fear and anger bubble inside me lighting a dark match inside me and I flared up, I seemed to gain height and they lost it.

"I came to say what I think of you, what you did earlier was awful and stupid, you're drunk and high, there's no wonder you haven't got any decent friends." I finished in a strong voice that would earn me brownie points with Rachel. As they processed what I had said they grew angrier and angrier, the boy stepped forwards again, coming menacingly towards me I stood tall and confident even if my insides were screaming at me to get out while I still could. He grabbed a hand full of my hair and I squirmed screaming and screaming at him to let me go.

"You don't like it princess, well welcome to showbiz." He spat at me, leading me over to where his group were huddled and shoved through them, using me as a human shield, some of them looked shocked, some of them looked smug. He threw me down at the table and I hit the floor in front of it, hard, he now towered over me, looking like a bull ready to charge. He took the nearest bottle and shoved it into my face, forcing it into my mouth with such force it nearly went down my throat. I choked and gagged on the murky liquid inside it but he wasn't giving up, he tipped my head back with rough hands that clawed at my skin, drawing blood and making tears filled with all emotion run down my face. He wasn't done yet. He snatched the bottle from my mouth and still smirking he reached for something else. I gasped for air, curling up into a ball on the floor I let out a strangled cry for mercy, and tried to vomit up the liquid that had been forced down my throat.

Some of his friends stopped looking so smug at the next thing he did and one girl took his arm and tried to stop him but he threw her back against the wall and she didn't move from that place again. After seeing that the rest of them scattered, a tall, lanky boy picking up the girl on his way past and carrying her out as fast as he could. He crouched over me, knife in his hands and poised it over my abdomen. Alarm flashed through my body and I struggled, using all the strength I had and the support of the ground beneath me to try to get away. But he pinned me to the floor, kneeling on my legs and killing them underneath me.

"You. Don't. Belong. Here. You're. Too. Precious. And. Important. With. Your. Loving. Parents. And. Your. Easy. Understudy. Job." With every word he slashed at my skin, sending me into fits of pain, I wondered why no one came to stop him, I wanted to scream at them all to help me, I wanted to ask them why they didn't come when I was dying slowly, trapped with a maniac. Then I realized, there was no noise, I had given up my feeble attempts at freedom and stayed still, fading into the pain.
Rachel woke me up, two hours later, I was bleeding all over the kitchen floor and she wanted to know why. Not daring to tell her the truth I saw the smashed bottle nearby and told her I had fallen on it, she believed me so easily. The cuts weren't that bad, not deep at all and when they checked me over I was fine. I told her how I'd stood up to them and they'd left. She seemed so proud of me so I didn't tell her how I was the one who had been scared of them.

Rachel looked after me for the rest of the day and I didn't dare to leave her room again until it was time to go home. I shook all the way back through the semi-painted walls that smelled of damp and got to the red carpeted stairs without and event. Everyone seemed to want the same thing, to go home. When I got to the staircase the boy from earlier was leant against the wall and fear shot through me like fireworks exploding. He didn't say a thing but as I passed he shoved a piece of paper into my open coat pocket and nodded at me. I felt physically sick as I walked out to meet my parents on the main street outside. Seeing the outside after a full day of being in the dark labyrinth that was backstage of the theater was like emerging from under water after running out of breath.

I slipped into the car and murmured a hello to my parents who drove off without even acknowledging my presence which was fine by me, I didn't want to talk about my day, it seemed as though my parents were on a good day. Some days they argued like cat and dog and usually ended up putting me in the middle of ever fight, I usually had to make them sit together and talk it out. I then had to leave before vomiting because they got mushy. I thought about my day and grimaced, it was by far the worse day of my life.
I went straight to my room when I got back and unfurled the piece of paper that the boy had shoved in my pocket as I walked past. It read:

Alexia
You showed awesome skills earlier. No one else could stand the cutting. You didn't even flinch, you might even make it in acting. You got the face for it and you can fake the tears easy. Meet us by the bins at the back entrance tomorrow lunch break and be as cool as you were today. You might just fit in after all.
Lee

I nearly died when I read it and had to re-read it more than once, I wasn't cool, I didn't want to be friends with them, who knew what they did in their spare time. I remembered what he had said, I didn't belong there, but I could. I desperately wanted to fit in and maybe they wouldn't make me do anything I didn't want to. Maybe they would just expect me to hang around with them a bit each day, I could do that. Be as cool as I was today, how could I do that? An idea came to me but I didn't like it, not one bit. I bit my lip and snook out of my bedroom and into my parents' I knew exactly where I would find my desired object. I gently opened my dad's draw where he kept all the things he didn't want mum to see, it squeaked slightly and I flinched.

"Alexia, what are you doing?" My mother shouted up the stairs.
"Nothing mum, just reading a book." I shouted back. Releasing a breath I hadn't known I was holding, I slipped my hand into the draw, not daring to open it any further. I felt around and found the thing I was looking for, I managed to open the glossy cardboard case and pulled out one of the sticks from inside. Closing it in my hand I ran into the bathroom across the hall, talking the packet of matches from the landing cupboard as I passed.

I opened my hand and knew I shouldn't be doing this but how else would I be as cool as I was earlier? A small cylinder of tobacco stared back at me, making me feel sick. With shaking hands I pulled a match out and lit it, almost dropping it as it burst into life in front of my eyes. I took a deep breath and fit the cigarette in between my fingers before lighting it with the dancing flame that ran up the side of the match. I brought it slowly up to my mouth, it fit perfectly between my lips and felt good and solid I took a long drag from it and spluttered immediately, spitting it from my mouth but picking it up and putting it back in again. I had to be cool, like I had been today, I kept taking drags and gasping for breath until my poor abused lungs finally got used to it and demanded for more. It was then that I realized that I had gotten in too far this time, you heard of showbiz doing crazy things to people but the cast making the person go crazy, that was a new one.