Beauty Parlor For the Soul - Un-Conditioning

You are your thoughts. And, you make your life a replica of them too. Limitations are obstacles that are invited. Literally. There are a number of times when we admit to the flock genre, simply by nature. It is not uncommon to find yourself nodding in agreement to the rest of the gang only to be accepted. To make them feel like you belong with them...for them to like you. A little introspection will reveal shocking facets to your personality. But, the problem is a common one. We all go through it. If you look, in retrospect, at the lives of great men, it is easy to observe that they swam against the tide. They strode miles with the courage to stand by what they thought was right and refused to play the 'popularity' game just to look good.

Man is unique. Each one of us is different, but we have a tendency of giving up this uniqueness for the sake of 'belonging'. The result – we remain mediocre. We trudge through life following the flock to the slaughter house. It is only those who dared to experiment with their uniqueness, who really lived. The power of thought and the willingness to express freely are empowering human traits.

The disciple was new to the hermitage. He was yet to learn the ways within. So, on day one, he simply observed. The master permitted it. He gave the boy the liberty to explore the jungle around and observe hermitage rules and regulations. This really put the boy at ease. He felt better. This was new to him. No mother to call out to, no familiar sounds or scents. But, being able to wander appealed to the little wise head.

He stayed a while at the hermitage, without getting into anyone's way. He saw the other lads filling water, watering the plants, settling the soil with an occasional sprinkle, collecting berries, flowers for worship, lighting a fire for the meager meal of rice and lentil and feeding the master's cow. They seemed to be enjoying themselves. The boys went about their chores with joy and were definitely having fun. He then ventured into the surrounding jungle.

The pleasant breeze blowing made him think of home. He missed mother. He missed his little sister. But, father thought that there were lessons to be learned and that the master was kind to have accepted his son. How was this place different? What lessons was he going to learn here that he couldn't at home? He had his friends there, and they always discussed issues that the adults spoke about. They calculated and measured and explored while playing. So, those were lessons too, weren't they? He couldn't wait to see what more this place had to offer.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps. A man walked past and an elephant obediently followed at a distance. The man simply shouted "whoa" every minute or so. The elephant was at quite a distance and followed without the slightest attempt to get away. This was something to see! The thicket could have easily hidden the animal from the mahout or whoever he was. Besides, the elephant was mightier than the frail human. "Whoa" again. The two men looked at one another and smiled. "You are new here?", asked the man. "Yes, came to the hermitage yesterday. You?". Smiling, the man replied that he passed by that way daily.

The disciple expressed his wonder at the obedience of the elephant. He inquired about the strange, domesticated behavior of the wild animal. "Does he always follow so obediently? What's his name? Hasn't he ever wandered? Have you ever detoured because of him?". The man smiled. "No. Jolly is a great babe. She, sweetie – not he, is conditioned". "What?" The disciple couldn't make sense of what he heard.

"Yes. You see, when we capture the babies, we tie them with a chord as we trek through familiar jungle routes. They follow in a line, trying their luck initially, but realizing that the chord only tightens around the neck with every tug and 'whoa'. 'Whoa' slowly becomes the invisible rope! Jolly is now six and she is conditioned. Jolly is conditioned to believe that every time I say 'whoa' the noose will tighten". Wow, that was something!

How strongly do you relate to such situations? Agreeing to disagreeable stuff only because the others have. Partying with friends for the fear of being 'ousted from the group'. Tolerating indecency when no one else seems to mind. It happens all the time. We allow ourselves to be conditioned. We easily ignore self worth and the power of individuality to please others. Sad, but true, it happens all the time. And is there a way out? Well, if the human mind is capable of succumbing to conditioning, which again is a human power, then, help is in your hands. There is no challenge that does not have its own unique solution.

Do you have it in you to stand up and swim against the current? Of course you do. You are the creation of your thoughts. You give others the power over you. It is in your willingness that such social 'conditioning' thrives. There is no shackle that can withstand the power of individuality.

"Jolly is conditioned to believe that every time I say 'whoa' the noose will tighten".

You are the creator of your own destiny. Life is full of choices. The food you eat, the clothes you wear, the willingness to work, the relationships you have, the burdens of debt and ill health due to procrastinated initiative...everything is a choice you have made for yourself. If you look within and then at others, you will realize how different you are. It is never too late. For that sparkle in the eye and frisk in every step – revise your choices. Instead of saying, "I am in love because he/she is so beautiful/kind/great to be around/considerate/responsible"...say, "I am in love because I choose to be!". Take responsibility for the choices you make. Feel empowered with every choice. They are yours...the laurels and dressing down, the recognition and cold shoulder, the love and hate, the praise and envy, the hurt and acceptance. All yours, because you choose them. And, if you choose them, you also have the power to revise thought and reconstruct your life.

Beyond the facial, the tender muscles under the skin could do with some un-conditioning.