Barbie McGillicutty Gets Her Three Wishes 1: The Leprechaun

Once upon a time there lived a precocious little girl named Barbie McGillicutty who always dreamed wistfully of being a princess. It wasn't that she had a bad life. On the contrary, she led a quiet, happy life with her loving family in a peaceful suburban neighborhood. She even had a lot of nice friends who loved to play with her whenever they had the chance. She mostly thought about it when her friends couldn't play and her brother was asleep and her parents and older sister were too busy to play a game.

Today was just such a day.

It was a warm summer's day just begging for running through the grass barefoot and doing cartwheels with a friend. But no one could play. Boredom had settled over Barbie like a big fat hen sitting on nest of eggs. She had asked everyone, but Daddy was on a business trip, Mommy was preparing dinner, her little brother was taking his afternoon nap, her big sister was filling out job applications in her room, and her big brother was in one of his teasing moods.

Barbie finally decided to go outside and make bubbles with her bubble wand. The first few tries did not work out so well. Barbie was a little out of practice. Then she got into her stride. She made big beautiful bubbles that floated gently on the warm air. Each bubble glinted merrily in the sunlight, dancing with a delicate, shimmering rainbow. They drove her boredom completely out of her mind.

As she watched a particularly enchanting bubble, Barbie thought how wonderful it would be if she were a princess in a far off land. She would dress in beautiful dresses and sparkling shoes and maybe even have a jeweled scepter with which she could point and have her will be done.

That's when her big brother sneaked right up behind her, popped her big beautiful bubble, and ran off laughing. "You toad!" she cried. "You villain!" She looked after him for a minute, but she knew she could never catch him. She was only five years old, and he was a very fast twelve year old. Barbie resolved to let it go. Forgive and forget, mother always says, she thought to herself, but it was a hard thing to do.

Barbie dipped her bubble wand once more into the skinny jar, waved it and made another bubble. To her fury, her brother popped out of nowhere and burst her bubble again! As he ran off once more she angrily jabbed the bubble wand into its jar, determined to make the most out of the bubbles. She made another one and saw him coming. "Stop, Denton!" she shouted at him, but it was no use. He got that one, too.

Any other little girl might have given up by now. Precocious Barbie, however, was also very tenacious. She stuck to bubble making, which might yet prove to be an enjoyable activity. As she made the bubble, she saw Denton coming out of the corner of her eye. So he would not get the better of her this time, she reached out and popped the bubble herself, yelling, "Denton! I wish you would turn into a toad."

Barbie had expected Denton to whiz by her, but he didn't. She turned to look for him, but he was not there. Even more strange, she felt something squirming in her hand that was not just a broken bubble. She looked down, opened her hand, and found a little man sitting in her hand!

"Who are you?" she exclaimed as the little man righted himself and made to climb right down her arm. She picked him up with her other hand and put him back where he started.

"Well," he said, rather nervously, "my name's Paddy, I don't mind tellin' ya, but I really must be going now."

"Wait just a minute," said Barbie in a hoarse whisper. "You are the littlest person I have ever seen. I didn't know people came as little as you."

"Well, they don't generally, outside in the great, big world. Babies are small o' course, but I'm no baby. I've just had my four hundred and fifteenth birthday. I don't mind tellin' ya." The little man kept looking around as if he were sizing up his best options for running away from Barbie, but she held him fast.

"All right, then," she said, bringing her big, beautiful, blue eye so close to him that he jumped back in alarm. "All right. What are you then?"

"What am I? What am I?" said the little man. He seemed astonished now. "You mean you did everything right, and you don't even know what I am?" Then a whisper of sly devilry wafted across his face. "Why, I'm your conscience, my dear."

"My conscience!" Barbie scoffed. "I don't even know what that is, but I can tell by the look on your face that you are lying to me.! I think I will just shove you into my pocket, because I don't like liars." She made to do it, too, but the little man hastily stopped her.

"No, my dear! No, no, no! That just won't do," he cried. "I'll stop tryin' to trick ya. I'll be truthful. I'm really a leprechaun."

"A leprechaun!" exclaimed Barbie. "Are you serious?" She was so excited that she began to jump up and down, squeezing her captive just a little too much.

"O' . . . course, I'm . . . serious," answered Paddy breathlessly and jerkily as she jumped. "You . . . don't think . . . a human . . . being can have lived . . . four . . . hundred and fifteen . . . years and pop . . . right out . . . of the rainbow . . . of a soap . . . bubble, do ya? . . . and do ya mind . . . to stop jumpin'? I'm starting to feel sick."

Barbie stopped jumping. "Wow!" She cried. "I thought all the leprechauns lived in Ireland."

"Well, they used to now. I certainly used to live on that emerald island. But a number of years back, I was minding my own business, tending my gold at the foot of a magnificent rainbow at the bottom of a waterfall, when a boy named Sean O'Conner reached into the rainbow, grabbed me and said, I wish me and my family had something to eat. O' course that was a wish mighty easy for me to grant, and I did no' mind grantin' it."

"Why would he wish for something to eat?" Barbie asked, her face suddenly lined with concern.

"It was sad times indeed, lassie," said Paddy dejectedly. "It was back in 1847 at the height o' The Great Hunger. The potato crops were all ruined and poor Sean's family was a starvin' like so many other poor souls."

Tears welled up in Barbie's big blue eyes. "You only gave them just the one meal? How heartless can you be?"

"Don't you be thinking that way o' me now. That Sean was a right smart lad. He ran home to his family, and they feasted. I set them a meal that took them a full week to finish and that's with sharing with their friends and other family. Well Sean, he looked me straight in the eye, and he said to me, `Paddy, I wish for you to give me, my family, and my friends safe passage across the seas to America.' And I granted that for him, too. All around them, people were not making it, but the O'Conners certainly did. He kept me in his pocket the whole way."

"So, that's how you got to America," said Barbie thoughtfully.

"Yes, indeed," answered Paddy proudly. "Sean wished for his family and friends to all do well in supporting themselves, and I granted his wish. I certainly did." Paddy thrust out his chest. "I was free to go, then. And off I went to tend my gold. No one else in this entire country has caught me until now. I guess it is because I'm the only leprechaun to have been brought over from Ireland. I'm pretty hard to catch."

Barbie smiled delightedly. Her dimples made her face look all the more pleasurable to look upon. "And now," she declared, "now that I've caught you, it means you have to grant me three wishes." She said the "three wishes" part in a little sing-song voice.

"Well, now," replied Paddy. "I would have to give you three wishes if you had not already made your first wish." He said it matter of factly, like he owned the world.

Now Barbie looked confused. "I have not made any wishes yet. And even if I had, you have not granted any."

Paddy smiled. "O' course you made a wish. You said, `I wish you would turn into a toad.' That's what you said, and that's what I granted. Yer brother's a toad."

"That's not fair!" she wailed. "That's not fair at all! If I would have known I was going to get a real wish granted, I would not have said that at all. I would have said, `I wish I was a princess.'"

The words tumbled out of her mouth like water going over the falls. Before Barbie could even open her mouth to say another word, Paddy nodded solemnly and said, "Granted."

Surprised by what she had let slip, Barbie clapped her chubby hands over her mouth. She felt tingling throughout her entire body. And there she stood, right there in a nearby park dressed in full pirate regalia. "What is this?" she cried. "What is this? I'm not even dressed like a princess. You've taken me away from my mom. What is this!"

Paddy looked somewhat hurt. "We're not that far away. There's your ship," he said as he pointed to a wooden play ship in the park's sand box.

"But I did not ask to be a a pirate! I asked to be a princess!" she insisted, stamping her foot in her frustration.

Paddy brightened, "Well now," he said with a little grin, "you did not say what kind of princess you wanted to be. I thought it would not matter to you, especially since there are no princesses at all in the United States—it's a republic, you know. I turned you into a pirate princess. All the other non-magical princess slots are full right now, and I'm not allowed to bump anyone."

"You're tricking me, Paddy! Shame on you. Here I am, a little girl who caught you fair and square. I want my second wish back." She stamped her foot for emphasis.

"Yer right, o' course," Paddy answered sheepishly. "I've been tricking you, and shame on me for that. I can't give you wish back, though." Her face fell. "Tell you what. You get your wish with all its conditions all set in your mind. You tell me what you want, and I will grant your final wish."

Barbie thought for a minute or two. Then she said, "All right. No tricks now, though."

"I solemnly swear I'll trick ye no more." Paddy put his hand over his heart and bowed to her.

"All right. Here is what I want. I want to be a real princess with a beautiful dress, and since you only have magic princess openings left, I want to be one of those. I also want you to make sure I get back home, because I don't want my mother to worry."

"Is that your whole wish?" asked Paddy with an intent, serious look on his face.

"It's my whole wish to be a princess at my home with all the benefits of being a princess."

"Granted," said Paddy.

Barbie felt that tingling sensation all over her body once again. When she opened her eyes, she was standing in her own back yard in a beautiful pink dress and holding a sparkling wand. She was not holding Paddy any more though. He was suddenly just as big as she was. No. It was quite the other way around. She was as small as he was. They were now standing in the back yard, but the grass was quite over her head.

"Hey!" she yelled, "Why am I so small?!?" But Paddy held up his hand.

"I gave you what you wished for. You can't take it back, and neither can I. But I do have a few pieces of advice I'm required to give you before I leave."

"What, then," she said in a foul temper.

"You are a fairy princess, which gives you certain rights and privileges. To work your wand, you simply have to wave it and recite what you want done in Latin. You have the power of the Books and Stories, which is really cool." He added thoughtfully, "I wish I had that power myself." Then he continued, "You just stand on the book, wave your wand, and say `Open my mind.'"

Barbie looked at him and said, "What happens when I do that?"

Paddy answered, "You will be able to take on any power from that book, visit that book's geographical locations, and talk with any of that book's characters. Nice. Very nice."

"That does sound cool," Barbie admitted thoughtfully.

"Oh, and you won't be able to fly until your wings grow in. They won't grow in until you have done the three magnanimous tasks."

"What does that mean?" she asked curiously.

"`Magnanimous' means 'very good.' You have to help other people in very big ways."

"Do they have to catch me like I had to catch you?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. You just find three deserving people and help them out."

"How am I supposed to find them if I can't fly?

"I don't know. You will just have to work that one out for yourself." Then he vanished with a tiny `pop.'