B Grade Bollywood: If It Works, It Sells and Vice Versa

An Indian and a American were discussing about what the Indian answer to American questions. This is how the conversation went across:

American: Hollywood.
Indian: Bollywood.
American: Hamburger
Indian: Vada Pao
American: Baseball
Indian: Cricket
American: Ed Wood
Indian: Mira Road (A suburb in Bombay (now Mumbai) which is home to almost everyone wishing to go into Bollywood, well, wannabes, basically). Come to think of it, America had just one man.. India has an entire place!

If Hollywood has its Exploitation Cinema, India has its sleazy side of Bollywood. And yes, there are many, many movies which still do go straight-to-video (now DVD) even in India.

B Grade cinema has been around in Bollywood ever since filmed entertainment made an entry into India. However, this section of the market had never had it big, because they simply did not have the resources to market their movies in the '80s and the '90s.

However, B grade cinema has been another of the blessed sons of that big Mother which has changed lifestyles, thinking and social structure in India – Globalization.

To put it rather simply, just like the many Indians watch Ali Carter in Marigold just because she is a foreigner, there are many homesick Indians and foreigners under misunderstandings who would watch a Indian movie with a Indian star cast simply because they have Indian actors, and of course, Indian women.

So, movies which would not never see the light of the day a few years ago are seen in happily and gaudily packed CD sleeves, ready to be exported to wherever they are to be exported. Here are some symptoms of a B grade movie being made:

Script:

One major symptom of a B Grade movie lies in its script. Either the storyline will be such that nobody will be able to understand it even after a PhD in the subject of the movie, or the storyline will be so flogged to death that one will actually be able to predict what happens in the next frame.

However, there are some movies and scripts which are actually good and the only thing one can do is rue the fact that the movie did not have proper funding.

Actors and Make up:

The makeup, hairstyles and the dresses will remind you of the cheap tailor and hairdresser just beyond your house. Also, the male actors will have, for some inexplicable reason highlighted hair or outlandish contact lenses. The female actresses will require a lesson in under or subtle dressing. Also, the pout of the female lead will be equal to the degree of the B-Gradiness of the movie itself.

Supporting Characters/Crowds:

The supporting characters of the movie will be worthy of being sold at the meat shop for their hamming. But what the ho, the lead actors are also hamming, so they do have something to look up to. Other than that, for comic relief, you can always look at any crowd sequence in the movie and find out some guy or girl who's thinking that this is their that chance to get into the limelight and actually go haywire with enthusiasm! And what's more, the director will highlight this guy or gal, repeating his antics on the screen!!

Suspension of Disbelief and Logic:

While some film people say that suspension of disbelief is an important criteria in making movies, B Grade movies thrive in suspension of disbelief as well as logic. So, in a B Grade movie, the main guy will be able to bash up around two hundred bad buys with his bare hands, and he will also be able to break open a wall with his forefinger. (Am Not Joking).

The crème De La crème: 'That Kissing Scene'.

Inexplicable, unrealistic, improbable, impossible. My foggy mind does not remember if this was a scene in 'Taming of the Shrew', but here's an interesting thing about B Grade movies – women.

Women in B Grade movies are only and only of two types. The tom boys and the submissive cows. There is no other in-between definition of the women in these movies. Now, if the woman is a tom boy, there will be inadvertently a scene wherein the male character kisses the girl, forcibly and in full public view, and that is a changing moment for the girl. Because this is a family website, I will not go into the graphic details, but lets just say the girl has a complete makeover the next day and also goes ahead and falls in love with the said guy!!!

I am not against B Grade cinema. It was my bread and butter for something like two years. I do know that many houses run on B Grade cinema. It's just that I hope that someday, the guys and gals in B Grade cinema actually reach their ambitions. While in the business, one person whom I respect very much had once told me the golden rule of B Grade cinema:

If it Sells, it Works, and if It Works, It Sells.