Avoidant Attachment Style

Ever knew that there were patterns of how we get attached to people? Well, yes! Isn't it amazing? Thanks to 2 psychologists; John Bowlby, the pioneer of attachment theory and Sigmund Freud, we can get extremely interesting insights on how adults and children develop attachments with others. Most of these attachments are based on parental relationships. Now, this attachment theory has to be understood first, and then we can move on to the ways in which people attach themselves to others. Here we embark on a psychological journey!

Explanation of Attachment Theory

Simply put, to start of with attachment, attachment according to Bowlby is A lasting connectedness between human beings.. The theory is based on the same, it is a theory having a combination of psychological, ethological and evolutionary theories related to relationships between people. The cardinal tenet of this theory is that a child in his or her early age requires to develop a relationship with minimum one primary care giver. That is necessary for a natural emotional and social development. As far as attachment theory is concerned, infant behavior connected with attachment is basically looking out for closeness with an attachment figure. They get attached to those who are sensitive and responsive towards them. A concept of 'secure base' was put forth by Mary Ainsworth and on the basis of that she developed attachment patterns like secure attachment, avoidant attachment and anxious attachment in infants. Disorganized attachment as a pattern came later in the picture. From that developed two major divisions in the pattern of attachment - secure attachment and insecure attachment. Avoidant attachment style is an insecure attachment style.

Avoidant Attachment Patterns

Within avoidant attachment style, there a couple of patterns or trends. Here is a lowdown on these attachment traits. These patterns in adults most often than not correspond to their attachment style as kids.

Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style
People who have this kind of attachment style strive for a high level of independence. That overwhelming desire to be independent manifests as avoiding attachment totally. It is no wonder then that such individuals do not look out for a lot of intimacy with their partners. The reason being they view themselves less positively than themselves. These individuals perceive themselves as self sufficient and unfettered with feelings connected to being attached with someone. A typical trait is that they have a tendency to hide and suppress their emotions and feelings.

Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
If you ask a person that are you uncomfortable with getting close to others and that person agrees, then that person has a fearful avoidant attachment style. These individuals tend to be confused or have a mixed feeling about developing close relationships. They worry about getting hurt after getting close to others. The dilemma pops up as to the desire between having emotionally close relationship on one hand and feeling uncomfortable with emotional closeness on the other. They find it hard to trust the intentions of their partners. Such individuals, too, suppress and hide their feelings.

The crux is that a relational scheme is formed regarding each pattern of interaction occurring regularly between partners. That scheme includes information about the self, information about the partner and information about the way the interaction usually unfolds.

According to research and studies on this by behavioral psychologists and others, the anxious-preoccupied attachment style in adults tallies with anxious or ambivalent attachment style in children. On the other hand, the dismissive and the fearful avoidant attachment styles, distinctly observed in adults, equate with a single style in children.

This was just to give you a glimpse of how we tend to get attached and what drives the way we manage the proximity in different relationships! I sign off here!