Australia: Back to Earth in Perth (And so not liking it)

A few days ago, my forced education into the world of cricket (which takes place every time India win or lose a test or a one-day cricket match), started once more, and I learnt that India was playing a test match with Australia, and to quote a very famous phrase, it ‘was just not cricket’.

I should confess, I did not watch the test match. Nor would have tens and thousands of single, working professionals, but the news was out… the biggest heist since Bodyline bowling (and the Montreal Screwjob, if you swing that way) in cricket and sports had just been pulled off. We had been robbed, in good daylight conditions, that too.

Our media (more about them in some other article) got their grubby little hands on something that makes every Indian’s heart throb… a cricketing controversy. Cricket is big business down here. Take a stethoscope to an Indian and chances are their hearts throb ‘Cric.. Ket’, ‘Cric.. Ket’.

And the proof was for everyone to see… even me, with a solid non-synchronization of eyesight could see that a very respected Umpire turned a Nelson’s eye to true cricket and gave the Indian batsmen the short end of the stick, umpteen times.

By evening the culprits were out in the open, Umpires Steve Anthony Bucknor and Mark Richard Benson and Australian Captain Ricky Thomas Ponting were accused of taking the match out of India’s hands thanks to some ‘poor’ umpiring, and of course, because Ricky Ponting took the ‘Only Winning Matters’ fantasy warrior angst charade a bit too seriously.

Within a few hours, all Indians were baying for blood. The most common solution was for Indians to pull out of the series. Of course, insult to injury was added when one of India’s team (Harbhajan Singh) was slapped with a charge of a racist comment. That of course, is funnier than ten thousand Tom and Jerry cartoons put together. A third world (developing) country citizen, charged of passing a racist comment on satellite television (insert stage laughter here).

By late in the night, another path of thought came into being. The words of the wise (past cricketers) were of the opinion that the ‘boys’ were out there to play cricket, and they should not come back. If they have decided on a journey, they should walk the entire painstaking road, no matter what the hurdles.

This in itself is an interesting facet to the multifaceted world of cricket. What was the actual emotion and thought that went behind these wise old men’s words? Was it just a cricketing spirit, a never ending love for the game, or was it a subtle speech that ‘kiddo, we have endured a lot more and lived to tell it, you will and should to’.

Well, it was a night – week – wrought with emotions, and too many things came into the picture, with terms like egos and post colonialism attitude being flung around carelessly. This was a nation robbed of one of its strongest vibe that makes it run – a cricket win, and they weren’t taking it lightly. They made it known, and the wheels already started rolling.

The Umpires were sent scurrying; Harbhajan Singh could play for a while, while the powers that be decide on whether the three match ban was harsher than needed.

For want of keeping all facts in one place, let me elaborate on what the Indian team or management did NOT do. And as a person who hates call centers (call centers, not outsourcing, educate yourself about the difference and then debate) today I say this – I am proud to be an Indian, because:

At no point of time did we accuse Australia (the team as well as the management) of any financial considerations when they won the match due to the unfair umpiring decisions.

At no point of time did we go personal about Steve Bucknor or Ricky Ponting. Nor did we even hint that any individuals engaged in the entire controversy had adhered to any financial compromises. All we talked about was their ego and attitude, which we took as a given they had, simply because they were.. well.. cricketers.

So, due to our level-headedness, the world had an exciting and racy test match, which the best team on that particular day won. To put it simply, India won, and the sane and sensible captain of the Indian cricket team Anil Kumble got another feather in his much furry cap – six hundred wickets in test cricket.

The battle is over, but the war is still on. Just today certain parts of the Australian media have made a call to arms. They have accused the Indian management and the Indian cricket team of getting money into the picture. They even compared their team to Stallone’s Rocky.

To quote, ‘Remember that scene in one of the Rocky movies where Rocky's trainer tells him he's no longer feared by his opponents?
"Kid," he says, "the worst thing that could happen to a fighter happened to you. You got civilised."

Buddy, Rocky, Ricky Ponting, positive comparison, not happening. Yeah, we do have the Internet around here too, we do know how to Google things, and this thing just does not go down with me. I still tremble to think what the guy who wrote the dialogues for Rocky must be thinking about this dialogue used in this context. I mean, Rocky was always about the underdog. And you have the guts to call yourself the underdog, with the entire crux of the controversy taped for satellite television? If there was ever an underdog on the field that day, it surely was not a very arrogant, egotistic and self centered captain who had the gall to send a batsman back on the grassed catch. Body language enthusiasts will have a field day if we let them loose on the footage of Ricky Ponting's 'Tricky Pointing' finger telling the umpire that he had indeed taken that catch clean.

I would be interested to know these writers perspective about murder. Would they go out and say that a murder, any murder, was correct because we solved all the problems of that poor guy who died? Or would they say that the murdered should be proud that he or she has been murdered by a serial killer?

If these writers are so into taking quotes to justify the blatant insult to cricket they had, here’s some quotes for Anil Kumble, and guess what, they’re original. I give them to you free of cost.

1. I was at the right time at the right place, it was just your sorry egotistical (insert favorite) self that got in the way.
2. Yesterday was dinner, today you got your just desserts.
3. You, and what army (of umpires, and cricket managers) are up for the next test?
4. Money is a big joke, it makes everyone laugh, you see
5. This was a test, and the results are out! (Contributed by Karthik Natarajan)

The basic problem lies with the Australians. How difficult do they find to accept one, measly, commonplace, completely legal LOSS in the past two and a half years? Have they weakened themselves, even after having a two year stint of no-loss to actually allow a defeat to affect them and that too to such an extent?

There is, of course, a lot of bad blood between the two teams ever since. Notice the advertisements in India nowadays. Any advertisement in India having any references to the Indian cricket team will have the rivals wearing yellow now, not the traditional green.

But such accusations and stupidly inane movie quotes are not going to solve anything. What is needed are sane minds to come together and whack it out. Cricket is, after all, still a gentleman’s game.