Are You A Divorced Parent With Enough Alone Time?

Divorced parents seldom have enough time for themselves. Here are three practical tips to help you create that much needed alone time.
In many of the articles that I’ve been writing for you, I’ve talked about the importance of having time for yourself. If you are currently going through a divorce or have recently divorced, you will discover that you’ll need to rely on friends and family more than you ever have before. During the early days of your divorce, having time for yourself can be pretty tricky, especially if you have kids. In this article, I’ve given you some practical pointers on simple ways to accomplish this very needed relaxation.

ONE: Lean on your parents. You may be thinking that it isn’t their problem, or maybe you have experienced tension with them since your divorce. Whatever the case may be, they remain your parents just the same, and beneath words you might have experienced with them, they love you still. That will never change. They should be helping you through this tough time in your life. It isn’t that much to ask to have them baby sit for you a couple times a month so that you can catch a breather. I suspect if you discussed this with them, they’d agree with me.

TWO: Lean on your ex in-laws. Yep, you heard me right. Every situation is different, and they could possibly hate your guts for divorcing their son or daughter, but your kids are still their grandkids. I have a friend who’s ex mother-in-law told her "You can divorce him, but you can’t divorce me. I want to experience my grandkids." My advice is to use their help when you need to do every day tasks that would be just be easier and get done faster minus your kids, like grocery shopping or talking with your attorney. Just be straight and to the point. Tell them you could use their help.

THREE: Lean on a good friend: Everyone has at least one, special someone that they can confide in. Who is that person that always has your best interest at heart? Who do you know that really cares for both you and your kids? Talk to them. Ask them for some help with what you have to do now without the husband or wife that you had before. Most people love to help out and I’m sure they’d be flattered by your request if you don’t abuse the privilege.

And finally, just take some time to put a plan in action. We all feel better when we have something to look forward to. If you can sit down with some of these important people and make up some sort of schedule, you and your kids will benefit greatly! Then, your divorce won’t be nearly as painful as it was before you asked, and, you’ll have created that much-needed time for yourself.
   By Len Stauffenger
Published: 6/26/2008
 
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