Anti-Depressants made me Insane.

I was one of the .1% of people that reacted very badly to a new anti-depressant I was prescribed. One of the people that drug companies and doctors alike, consider worth the risk of people being given these drugs.

I've suffered on and off for 25 years with depression. And have been on some form or other of anti-depressants for most of that time.

In November year before year, I went to my doctor in a terrible state; just a mess of tears. My partner had written a list of many of the symptoms I was having, we thought I might be starting menopause. I had been crying for about 6 weeks for no reason I could think of in particular and had been having hot flushes, panic attacks, heart palpations, you name it, I had it.

She said that it was not menopause, as I was too young, but it was definitely depression, and told me to increase the medication I was on for depression by one a tablet per day, until I felt better. She also told me to start taking Valium to help with various hypo-mania and other side effects. the valium intake went from 20 to 120 a month within that month. Five weeks later I went back, in an even worse state than the first visit. We decided to change medications, telling me the old story that these would take six weeks to start working, and to just be patient.

You guessed it, eight weeks later; I was back at the doctors, with another list of symptoms, in a worse state yet again; I told the doctor at that time that I was starting to obsess about suicide. She asked if I was going to commit suicide. I explained that I wasn't planning it; I had become obsessed with thinking about it and just couldn't get it out of my mind.

This should have set off alarm bells for the doctor, I know now, but she just advised I increase these anti-depressants; again at the rate of one per week. After four weeks of increases (3 of these very powerful pills per day), I told my partner to leave and get out of my life, as I had decided that suicide was the only answer. In only a few short weeks I had been planning to kill other people before killing myself; people that had wronged me throughout my life. I hadn't been suicidal and homicidal before taking this new drug. Still the doctor said to just take more Anti-depressants.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, as you have probably heard or experienced a similar story.

I somehow, through the drug induced insanity, found out during intensive searches on the internet: the drugs I was on along with the combination of very strong pain relief was actually the problem. The problem was not that I had lost my marbles, and was destined for either the nut house, or death; it was the drugs.

I also found out that the drugs; the anti-depressants weren't supposed to be just stopped, you were supposed wean yourself off, at the rate of one less tablet per month. I knew that I would be dead at the rate I was going, and couldn't wean myself off these drugs very slowly, so decreased my dosage by one pill every two days!!!

During the weeks of desperation and insanity I found The Herbalist online and read up on their detox programme. By this time I was down to one antidepressant a day, and in a hell of a mess.

I sent my partner, who had refused to leave me, down to the shop, and she brought one Ultimate Cleanse programme for each of us.

The instructions said you had to prepare your body to taking them, by changing your diet.

I decided I couldn't wait and that I would take the maximum strength of 10 of each tablets morning and night (That is 40 pills twice a day). I started that night but with the morning dose I vomited them all up, it was just too much. I cut down to three of each tablet night and morning, and spread the pill taking out over about 30 minutes, giving the first lot time to dissolve before taking the last ones for that dose.

Each day, I could feel myself getting better, it may sound corny, but I really did feel as though I could feel the toxins draining out of me.

By the end of the course, I felt 1000% better. Thoughts I'd had of harming myself and others were gone. I felt lighter, and the dark cloud of doom that surrounded me had lifted to just an overcast day. I wasn't miraculously healed but I was definitely coming back towards health. I could see a future again, after nine months of hell. I was still very tearful, but I just decided that was they was I was going to be from now on.

Now a year later, my new doctor has just put me on the contraceptive pill, the estrogen levels in these pills, which were low in my body because of the onset of menopause, were normal within a couple of days and at last my life is back to normal. I'm not bursting into tears at the drop of a hat.

My internet business is back on track, I'm writing again, and I can at last see a future… If only my doctor had listen to me over 2 years ago, or I had of had the strength to find a doctor that would listen.

Lynn Bishop
Tauranga
New Zealand