All I Want

My life and world is a graveyard,
Of buried hopes and forgotten dreams,
Nothing left but a shard,
Of false and plastered joy here and there.

Everything emotion I’ve showed to this point is fake,
Every last smile and laugh,
Every single giggle and chuckle there to take,
Nothing was ever true, it’s all a lie.

I always tried to be what everyone wanted me to be,
I changed everything about myself,
All the things that I let behind, I could turn back to see,
It was all gone, except for the memories.

My mind filled with endless torture and dread,
Asking myself where I went so wrong,
My joy, happiness, and peace, all dead,
Bitter remains left to rot in the passing years.

Nothing left to remind me of the emotions, I once held inside.
Empty darkness and pain are the only things that dwell within me,
No longer caring about reputation or pride,
None of it matter much anymore.

The simple bliss of escaping and going back,
Return to when everything seemed to be okay,
Back to the loving family that I now lack,
It all runs through my mind, over and over.

I want to be able to run for my past,
Forget everything that I ever had, all of it,
That way I won’t be able to say that it all went by so fast,
I wouldn’t have to miss love, happiness, or joy so much.

I want so badly to find where I truly belong,
To become what I supposed to be,
Find a place where I won’t feel out-of-place of wrong,
That is one and only wish, my biggest dream.