A Special Place in the Party: Places of Honor Besides Groomsman and Bridesmaid

Choosing the friends and family members to fill the roles of groomsmen or bridesmaids can be like building your own hall of fame: you're sure most of the people you're considering deserve an invitation, but there are only so many places to hand out. If you and your fiancé have already settled on a maximum number for the wedding party, you don't want to tip the symmetry by inviting more people to stand beside you than stand beside your beloved.

On the other hand, you might also want to involve others, like for example your grandfather or your college roommate, in some meaningful way. This can be a great gesture of gratitude, affection, or simply to have them brighten your whole festivities. There's nothing wrong with having a surplus of candidates to fill your wedding party - just the opposite. It shows you want to share the big day with as many friends and relations as possible.

Nevertheless, including more people in your wedding rehearsal dinner, ceremony, or reception can mean staging a more elaborate ceremony than you might have originally planned. The trick is to keep the inclusion subtle and organic, so that the role impresses the audience like a natural part of the events. What feels awkward and stops the momentum of your celebration is to have the inclusion feel shunted in, as if placed arbitrarily in the order of events. The role should feel like a special visit from a treasured part of your life, not a cameo.

Some "guest appearance" roles follow below.

Opening & Closing Prayers

One way to make the extra guest appearance roles seem natural is by placing them at the beginning or the end of your event. Beginning your rehearsal dinner or even reception with a moment of prayer is a charming gesture that strikes a delicate note of grace before the festivities commence. For something more secular, simply having the special guest say a few words of welcome and appreciation is also a nice touch.

Celebratory Poems

This is a great spot for your "artsy" friend from college to fill within the wedding celebrations. It's ideal for the rehearsal dinner, when the guests are already seated and fed, and makes a nice segue to the bridal party toasts.

The trick with reading a poem, however, is to make sure the poem's any good. Nothing provokes the wrong kind of laughter than a clumsy, ham-fisted ode to your good qualities. If your designated poet laureate is an accomplished poet in their own right, it's fine for them to read original work. But if they're not, you might gently suggest they find a love poem by one of the masters. You may also choose to commission an original poem by a professional, to be read by your special guest.

Wedding Ceremony Performer

Got a friend who's a musician or singer? They can provide the musical accompaniment to your walk down the aisle or the closing recessional. The two of you might collaborate on the song that's performed. A guitarist might play the melody from one of you and your fiancé's favorite love songs. A pianist friend or relative could perform "The Wedding March" in place of the organist.

Special music and performers are especially effective during theme weddings and wedding ceremonies at untraditional locations. The music could fit the theme or simply provide another element in your original design.

Master of Ceremonies

A more elaborate "special guest" role could consist of designating a friend or important relative as the master of ceremonies for the rehearsal dinner. This could include introducing the bridesmaids and groomsmen, making parking and transportation announcements to the assembled guests, and generally making sure the pace of the dinner remains as smooth as possible.

The extra roles you include for special members should be given the same significance as the members of the wedding party. You can indicate that stature to the guests by having your "special appearances" also wear formal wear and sit at the rehearsal or reception table.

Smooth out any parts of their role by working with them in planning their performance or duties. Also, let them know well in advance when they'll play their part. If you print programs for the rehearsal, they should be listed along with their role or responsibilities. They should also be thanked individually when you acknowledge the wedding party members for their contributions.

Michael Kabel is senior staff writer for http://www.cornerstorkbabygifts.com. Stop by for parenting and baby resources, unique baby gifts, baby gift baskets and baby shower favors.