A Secret Other

I chew on my misery
I'm a Lonely Girl In Waiting
I gave in to your wishes
Gave in to your pleads

I stood waiting at the bus stop,
It was the fourth time your bus had gone by
You were still not on board, but I believed
That you would be on the next one to come.

I wasn't supposed to see you anymore anyway
But I guess I thought we were In Love
Too bad I was stuck in a promise
The gold band around my finger kept us separate

Engagement - such a strange word
Especially when it's to a name you've never heard
Arranged Marriage with the Rich Mans Son
"Better to have money than true love."

At least that's what my aunt says -
Since both my parents are Dead.
She took responsibility, and decided
She Needs A Man.

I already loved another, a Secret Other
One I met with on days she was away
Romeo and Juliet? Maybe.
We weren't allowed to be

He didn't deserve me anyway -
Me, a lowly Orphaned Girl,
But he made me believe I was Special
Made me believe I was Worth It.

So when he told me
To meet him at The Bus Stop
I went without question
And here I stand - alone in sand

Sand that is turning to mud,
Sucking me in deep dark claws
Down into the oily ground
Away from Mistakes - closer to Hell

I gave into your hopes and dreams
Helped you overcome everything
Yet I'm now the Lonely Girl In Waiting,
The girl you see chewing on misery.