A Page Ripped from the Diary of Nancy Gufoo.....

(A page ripped from the diary of Nancy Gufoo)

Thursday, July 3

Dear Diary,

Well, another week's almost over at the ol' gas station. Boy am I glad this week's almost over with. I fucking hate that place. I'm there all day long and I usually need to go to the bathroom at least seven or eight times during the day unless it's Thursdays or Mondays because those are the two days that I flush my system. But the problem is that there is only one restroom and it's for me..... and both the male and female customers. So it's attrocious in there. There's probably at least a gallon of dried urine on that toilet seat. And I've never gone in there to clean it because I figure we've got a janitor that shows up at some point while I'm not working or whatever. Most times I'll just take my sweatpants down past my rump and just squat on the sink when I pee. And every once in awhile, when I poop. One time I just went on the floor in the corner because seriously, that toilet is revolting. I dont think it even flushes anymore, it just keeps overflowing onto the floor time after time and nobody seems to notice or care. Well guess what! I care!
I dont want to get sick one day and die just because I was eating a sandwich in there and particles of shit and piss got on it. Another thing is that I have no source of water at the gas station other than that tap in the bathroom sink. So I have to drink that water and wash my hands and face in that water all day long. How do you think that makes me feel?! It's bullshit!
Plus, I dont really have a "breakroom" persay so I have to go into the restroom for my breaks most days. It's where I eat my lunch and take my naps and whatnot. I even had sexual relations in there one time last year lol. *blush*

At home, Bob's being a real pain in the ass lately. He's leaving shit all strewn everywhere... it's like "dude, I don't want to see your shitty jockeys laying on my pillow!" The last time that happened, I dreamt that I was one of those guys from Back to the Future who gets a truckload of shit dumped on his head. Ironically, I woke up covered in shit too. It was my shit, but still... (hey, it was a scary dream!)
Anyway, he's really being a pain in the old arse. Or maybe it's just because my period just started two days ago. I tell ya, every month it just gets worse and worse. I swear it looks like someone killed and gutted a baby cow down there. Plus there's the abnormal stench of rotting fetus. I think there may be something wrong with me because no human being's vagina is meant to emit such offensive odors. I cant even get guys to do me if I pay them! (not with money, but with more sex.)
I ended up just ramming a dish-sponge up in there to soak and plug. Sometimes I wish I had nothing down there. Just smooth skin all the way under. Hell, seal up the anus too. I dont need that fucking thing. All it does is squeeze out putrid logs of shit, cause the air around me to reek, and feel terrible during anal sex. If I did that though, I'd probably have to remove the ass cheeks too because they just wouldn't look right if their valley didn't lead down to anywhere. And come to think of it, I'd look pretty strange without butt cheeks, so I better just keep everything the way it is. I'll just have to go on dealing with this horseshit for nine days out every month until I contract that disease that kills old ladies' ovaries. On second thought... Anybody got a coat hanger and some trash bags?