A Journey To The Heart - Chapter 13
When she said, "..." And when we...
The water was cold enough to freeze my veins. I struggled to come up to the surface, trying hard to call out her name, but her zero sign again sank me into deep despair. I wanted to cry loud, so loud that she could hear my pain. Suddenly, stones rained upon me and before I could have understood anything I was dragged to nowhere in the rain.
"What the hell on this earth are you doing here?" She shouted at me. "Take a breath as deep as you could." She quickly ordered in a trembled voice and steered me across the fall.
Everything was happening so fast that I started feeling dizzy. For a moment I felt as if I were going to lose, but her hold on me was so tight that she didn't let me fall.
"This is not possible." I said with my mouth agape in surprise.
"You were stalking me, Summors?" Her voice echoed.
She was standing alive in front of me with her arms folded. Her hair was falling all over her shoulders and water slipping down her cheekbones to her drenched translucent top.
"You are alive?" I moved forward to touch her, forgetting about this ultimate place which was like a dark lion's den, which I just discovered across the fall, the place I can never think could exist in my best dreams.
"Why will I die?" She looked at me disgustingly. "Were you stalking me?" She again asked, angrily.
I didn't want to think or say or answer anything. I was just looking at her with tears in my eyes, as all I know was that she was alive, with me. I wanted to take her in my arms and lock her so tight with my feelings that she could never think of any escape.
"You are not even bothered of what I went through few moments back, when I didn't find you." I snorted, grabbing her arm.
"What this bullshit is all about?" She snapped, fighting to release herself.
"You don't have any feeling, Yana Seth..." I tightened my grip in frustration "or you don't want to understand..."
"What are you saying, Summors?" She looked with her wet eyes into mine.
"You always make me weak... always!" I cried, releasing her.
No! I never wanted her to see this shade of mine, which I allowed her to paint it, in me.
"You are crying." She whispered in bafflement, covering the distance between me. "What's going on, Summors?" Her tone softened and she was looking right into my eyes, with her cold hands touching my warm tears.
I was losing myself and I wanted her bad in that moment. My fingers touched her arm where I grabbed her insanely. The red marks on her arm were burning me inside with guilt. I pulled her close and confessed, "What if I say, I am in love with you, Yana Seth?"
I couldn't believe I said that. Yeah, I was in love with her which I finally realized, when for a moment, I tried to think about my life without her.
"Summors..." She opened her mouth to say, but she was too late to any defense.
We were breathing heavily in nervousness. I knew she wanted to feel the moment but there was some tension in her hold which I felt, when she was trying hard to stop us.
"Summors, we shouldn't..." She was whispering my name. " Summors... please..." She closed her eyes, slightly raising her chin to meet mine.
She was saying something else and doing something totally opposite.
"Trust me." I whispered back, locking my one arm around her waist and holding her jaw with the other hand, bringing her close, to feel her warmth upon my skin.
"Ian... Ian... please don't..." Words floated out.
First time, my name on her lips came out electrifying my body and then I didn't care what she was saying because we both knew how much we were confused and how much we wanted each other. To let our moment go with a flow, I softly kissed and swept her fingertips aside, to the corner of my lips and sucked the trembling drops on her upper lip. The first touch made her drew a deep breath and her hands tautened on my chest. I could feel the blood pulsing through my veins as we finally kissed. It was a slow move and I was completely swept off my feet. But there was tension in her body and I knew how to keep that at distant. I wanted her to feel my unfathomable feelings, care and love for her and this time I passionately pulled her close to my body, hiding my hands under her top, pressing and doodling nothing on her wet skin with my fingers. It was her first move and she rubbed her ablaze soft leaves against my aflutter lips, holding me even more tight. We were trembling in each others arms. Her heartbeats were outrunning mine and her hands moved to my chin and then around my neck in a passionate chemistry, setting me on fire. I don't remember how long we kissed, but it was most beautiful feeling I ever had.
"Stop..." She breathed, pushing me back.
"Wha..." I opened my mouth, to make an attempt to break the embarrassing silence which suddenly crept in. But it was also the truth that I really didn't know what to say in that moment.
All of a sudden, she crouched, sliding her hands in her hair and yelled out a cry. "It was my fault... It was all my fault... I should have stopped myself..." She looked away, sobbing.
"It was no one's fault." I reached her, cupping her face in my hands.
"No... no... nooo..." She cried out louder, releasing herself from me in frustration.
"These things would be meaningless to you, Ian Summors, but for me it's not!" She squelched. "You made me break my vows, I thought I would never...."
"Sshhhh..." I took her in my arms and said determinedly, looking into her eyes, "I love you Yana Seth. I always loved you and I will always love you... I loved you when I first saw you. I loved you when I fought with you... I loved you even more when you helped with my shirt, I loved you when you pulled me close, grabbing my collar when I told you about your tramp stamp and I loved you when you translated your songs for me. I loved you in every moment, Yana Seth... in every moment... My touch and my tears are the only assets of my love for you... And there are no strings attached."
I paused to hear her, but she was constantly sobbing and looking at me. And to my surprise she cracked the silence coming out with her words "I don't have a heart."
Words were too small to clear her misconception. So, I slowly slid my hand from her jaw to her heart and she inhaled deep in excitement.
"And you said that you don't have a heart." I smiled, with tears in my eyes.
"What the hell on this earth are you doing here?" She shouted at me. "Take a breath as deep as you could." She quickly ordered in a trembled voice and steered me across the fall.
Everything was happening so fast that I started feeling dizzy. For a moment I felt as if I were going to lose, but her hold on me was so tight that she didn't let me fall.
"This is not possible." I said with my mouth agape in surprise.
"You were stalking me, Summors?" Her voice echoed.
She was standing alive in front of me with her arms folded. Her hair was falling all over her shoulders and water slipping down her cheekbones to her drenched translucent top.
"You are alive?" I moved forward to touch her, forgetting about this ultimate place which was like a dark lion's den, which I just discovered across the fall, the place I can never think could exist in my best dreams.
"Why will I die?" She looked at me disgustingly. "Were you stalking me?" She again asked, angrily.
I didn't want to think or say or answer anything. I was just looking at her with tears in my eyes, as all I know was that she was alive, with me. I wanted to take her in my arms and lock her so tight with my feelings that she could never think of any escape.
"You are not even bothered of what I went through few moments back, when I didn't find you." I snorted, grabbing her arm.
"What this bullshit is all about?" She snapped, fighting to release herself.
"You don't have any feeling, Yana Seth..." I tightened my grip in frustration "or you don't want to understand..."
"What are you saying, Summors?" She looked with her wet eyes into mine.
"You always make me weak... always!" I cried, releasing her.
No! I never wanted her to see this shade of mine, which I allowed her to paint it, in me.
"You are crying." She whispered in bafflement, covering the distance between me. "What's going on, Summors?" Her tone softened and she was looking right into my eyes, with her cold hands touching my warm tears.
I was losing myself and I wanted her bad in that moment. My fingers touched her arm where I grabbed her insanely. The red marks on her arm were burning me inside with guilt. I pulled her close and confessed, "What if I say, I am in love with you, Yana Seth?"
I couldn't believe I said that. Yeah, I was in love with her which I finally realized, when for a moment, I tried to think about my life without her.
"Summors..." She opened her mouth to say, but she was too late to any defense.
We were breathing heavily in nervousness. I knew she wanted to feel the moment but there was some tension in her hold which I felt, when she was trying hard to stop us.
"Summors, we shouldn't..." She was whispering my name. " Summors... please..." She closed her eyes, slightly raising her chin to meet mine.
She was saying something else and doing something totally opposite.
"Trust me." I whispered back, locking my one arm around her waist and holding her jaw with the other hand, bringing her close, to feel her warmth upon my skin.
"Ian... Ian... please don't..." Words floated out.
First time, my name on her lips came out electrifying my body and then I didn't care what she was saying because we both knew how much we were confused and how much we wanted each other. To let our moment go with a flow, I softly kissed and swept her fingertips aside, to the corner of my lips and sucked the trembling drops on her upper lip. The first touch made her drew a deep breath and her hands tautened on my chest. I could feel the blood pulsing through my veins as we finally kissed. It was a slow move and I was completely swept off my feet. But there was tension in her body and I knew how to keep that at distant. I wanted her to feel my unfathomable feelings, care and love for her and this time I passionately pulled her close to my body, hiding my hands under her top, pressing and doodling nothing on her wet skin with my fingers. It was her first move and she rubbed her ablaze soft leaves against my aflutter lips, holding me even more tight. We were trembling in each others arms. Her heartbeats were outrunning mine and her hands moved to my chin and then around my neck in a passionate chemistry, setting me on fire. I don't remember how long we kissed, but it was most beautiful feeling I ever had.
"Stop..." She breathed, pushing me back.
"Wha..." I opened my mouth, to make an attempt to break the embarrassing silence which suddenly crept in. But it was also the truth that I really didn't know what to say in that moment.
All of a sudden, she crouched, sliding her hands in her hair and yelled out a cry. "It was my fault... It was all my fault... I should have stopped myself..." She looked away, sobbing.
"It was no one's fault." I reached her, cupping her face in my hands.
"No... no... nooo..." She cried out louder, releasing herself from me in frustration.
"These things would be meaningless to you, Ian Summors, but for me it's not!" She squelched. "You made me break my vows, I thought I would never...."
"Sshhhh..." I took her in my arms and said determinedly, looking into her eyes, "I love you Yana Seth. I always loved you and I will always love you... I loved you when I first saw you. I loved you when I fought with you... I loved you even more when you helped with my shirt, I loved you when you pulled me close, grabbing my collar when I told you about your tramp stamp and I loved you when you translated your songs for me. I loved you in every moment, Yana Seth... in every moment... My touch and my tears are the only assets of my love for you... And there are no strings attached."
I paused to hear her, but she was constantly sobbing and looking at me. And to my surprise she cracked the silence coming out with her words "I don't have a heart."
Words were too small to clear her misconception. So, I slowly slid my hand from her jaw to her heart and she inhaled deep in excitement.
"And you said that you don't have a heart." I smiled, with tears in my eyes.
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