A Flicker of Hope

"Um…. I need to tell you something," My eyes widened, and I wonder if he was about to say what I thought he would say. I had feelings for him since like last year when he first came to this school. Finally, after all the months of waiting he was opening up to me. At the moment I felt like my heart would just burst out; I was just so happy. This was like my dream coming true. All this time I have expected him to give me a hint that he felt the same way, finally the moment of happiness had arrived. I just couldn’t stop smiling; my dimples probably looked like they were permanent, I had been smiling for so long. Just looking at him made me smile, and what he was about to say to me mattered the most. I was so crazy about him, and I hoped that he felt the same way.

His green eyes were bright and warm. His wavy dark brown hair was quite long, and I longed to put my finger through it. How would it feel like when he will confess his love for me, and how would it feel like when his lips will touch.

"You have always been so good to me," My heart fluttered at his praise. I really liked him. Maybe I even loved him. My feelings for him were pretty deep and sometimes they scared me.

"I know I should have told you before, but I just wanted to be sure of my feelings before I share them with you." So thoughtful, I thought. It was a good thing that he didn’t just come to me and blurted everything he felt, that would have been a little unwise. But this was the perfect moment, the perfect time. This was the time I have been waiting for nearly a year now.

"I have feelings….." Oh my Goss! He was going to say it. I just couldn’t believe it! "for your best friend, Lisa." My smile was completely removed from my face. My mouth dropped open and I felt like I was going to throw up.

"Are you kidding me?!" That was the first thing that came to my mind, and I said it without even thinking.

"I know I shouldn’t have hid it from you. You are like my best friend and I thought I should tell-"

Was this really happening to me? I felt like crying or just running away from him. I couldn’t even look at him properly. Why does this have to happen to me? I liked him so much, and now…..

"Why didn’t you tell me before?" My voice cracked, and I felt like screaming at him, and putting some sense into him.

But before he could answer, I asked him the question that was running inside my head the whole time after his confession. "Were you using me to get her?"

He seemed slightly guilty. "Not at the beginning. I mean it was just pure luck. We had all the classes together, and I thought knowing you would help me know her."

That actually really hurt. "So there was actually nothing between us, I thou-"

"Wait a second. I didn’t say that!" He seemed offended. "Of course I like you, and you have been such a wonderful friend. You mean a lot to me, and I just wanted to get to know Lisa through you. That was all."

How did I ever let myself think that he actually felt something for me? That was so not happening. Everything was turning upside down. How I wished that it was just a bad dream….. The truth really did hurt. Plus, why did he have to like Lisa? Of all the people in the world, he had to have feelings for MY best friend? Lisa knew how I felt about him and we were basically like sisters.

"So what do you want me to do?" I asked calmly, though at the moment I felt like screaming.

He seemed relieved. "I was afraid how you were going to take this. I want you to help me to get Lisa, if that is even possible. I really hope she feels something for me."

Despite of myself, I started laughing. "You actually have feelings for Lisa." I laughed again, and he seemed annoyed.

Lisa was beautiful from the inside out, and I loved her. But the only guy that I had feelings for liked my best friend was funny. I was laughing with pain, and I was laughing with hurt. What did it even matter what I was feeling? Who was I? I was just a nobody who could never get what she wanted.

"I am sorry. I am just being a little crazy." I composed myself.

"So does that mean yes? Will you help me?" He looked so eager, and it ripped my hurt to know that he liked someone else.

"Why do you want me to help? You can just talk to her." Why did he have to ask me for help? Why does he have to make this even harder?

"I know." He signed. "But would she like me?"

"A crazy wouldn’t like you." And I was among them. I was crazy for liking him.

"Thanks." He smiled sheepishly. "But I still need your help. I don’t know what she likes and what she doesn’t. And I am…" He signed again. "I really do need your help."

How could I say no to him? He was just too irresistible, which was one of the reasons why I liked him.

I nodded, and he smiled. "I knew I could always count on you," he murmured and kissed my cheek softly. Now, why did he have to do that? That was just messing with my head. This sure was going to be harder than I thought it would.