A Diffrent Life 8!!

I looked up at James through my blurry eyes. I pondered on the question…what was wrong with me? Hmm…I knew the answer, everything. But instead of saying that I wiped my eyes and then asked him "Can we talk".

He waited scrunched up his eyebrows showing he had no clue as to what was going on at the moment. I giggled silently. "Uh, sure" he replied.
We walked outside into the courtyard and sat on the bench. After a few moments of silence he repeated his question "What’s wrong"? "Can I tell you something" I asked. WHAT AM I DOING! I CAN’T TELL HIM! My mind was screaming inside. But still I continued. "Scratch that thought can I s-s-sing it to you" I asked.
His eyebrows raised sky high at the question. "Sure" I guess.

(She starts singing Beyonce’s song ‘Scared of Lonely’)
---I'm in this fight, and I'm swinging and my arms are getting tired
It's hard, I'm trying to beat this emptiness but I'm running out of time
I'm sinking in the sand, and I can barely stand
I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely
I try to be patient, but I'm hurting deep inside
And I can't keep waiting, I need comfort late at night
And I can't find my way, won't you lead me home
Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along the wall
And I'm scared the only heartbeat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone
I can't seem to breathe when I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely
I'm scared of lonely.....

I cry at night, 'cause my baby's too far to be by my side
To wipe away these tears of mine, so I hold my pillow tight
To imagine you would stretch your hand looking for mine
'Cause I'm lost in this dream , I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along the wall
And I'm scared the only heartbeat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone
I can't seem to breathe when I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I need your strength when nobody is around
'Cause I'm tired of this emptiness, I think I'm drowning
I can't be lonely no more
Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along the wall
And I'm scared the only heartbeat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone
I can't seem to breathe when I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely
I'm scared of lonely.....
*She is done singing the song*

I stop and look at his face his face practically screams "WOW". But then it changes into a confused one. "I am confused (no duh) what are you scared of"
I thought about it for a minute then I answered him by saying "I’m scared that I ‘m killing myself".

****JAMES POV***

The words echoed in my head, I AM SCARED THAT I’M KILLING MYSLEF, KILLING MYSELF, KILLING MYSELF. KILLING MYSELF was basically the words that wouldn’t stop echoing. What did she mean? Is it me or is she going little coo coo (crazy, loco?) Anyways she did sing so beautifully I didn’t know she could sing. Just then the Bell rang for next period.
She said "I gotta go" Her voice sounded broken and chopped up. She was crying. I reached for her arm and said in a hushed tone "Asia". She shook her head. Looked at me eyes filled with pain, regret, and sorrow. She said "I’m sorry James, I am sorry I told you and making you all confused. I really am. A real friend wouldn’t bother their friends with problems like mine. A real friend wouldn’t put such a burden on their friends. My apologizes" She whispered wiping her tears away.

"I am so sorry James" her voice cracked even more and fresh tears bolted from her eyes. I spoke her name again "Asia" (GOSH I AM SO RESTARTED SHE IS HERE CRYING IN FRONT OF ME AND ALL I CAN SAY IS FREAKING "ASIA"…HOW STUPID CAN I GET?!). She held up a finger in front on top of her lips, meaning "stop talking please". Then leaning down she kissed me softly on the cheek. She began to pull away but stopped and kissed me on the lips. It wasn’t anything serious but it felt so good!! She pulled away and started walking away.

***Allyasia’s POV***

I kissed him why did I kiss him, why?? I just had certain urge to I guess. But that was totally wrong I mean James is like a cousin. It is totally gross to kiss your cousin. EEW! But when I kissed him it didn’t feel like I didn’t want to, it felt like I really did want to kiss him. I can’t deny it though his lips felt amazing. Why am I thinking of him in this way? I feel so confused.
Matter of Fact why did I TELL him? I am such a horrible friend; I shouldn’t have put some of my problem on him. He probably had no clue as to what I was talking about but still that is beside the point. Ugh! The bruise on my back has turned black.

It is growing! I haven’t been hit in two weeks (because he isn’t at home for the time being) and it is grown! When I raise my arms my back starts to sting so badly. Like when I told off Wayne a couple about 20 minutes ago and I was waving my arms all in his face, I might not have felt the pain then but I SURE DID FEEL IT NOW!!!!

In 4th period the class was listening to the video that was playing on the television. When all of a sudden, The phone in the classroom rang. The teacher put it on speaker and said "Yes".
"Mr. Washington I apologize for the interruption but can you please send Allyasia to my room ASAP."
"Yes I can" Mr. Washington hung up.
I knew who that voice belonged to It belonged to Ms. Thornton (teacher from last chapter). This day went downhill fast. I grabbed the pass I was given and headed for her room. When I reached her room I stood in front of her door. I felt my stomach intestines churn. Something told me that this wasn’t going to be too good……..

THANKS 4 READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I PROMISE TO BRING THE LOVE ON JUST PLEASE BE PATIENT.<3 Naddie (Nadette)