A Day in the Shoes of a 'Freak'

Down the hall, I walk.
Eyes stare at me.
My head hangs low.
My fists are clutched.
My music is loud.
I smile no more.

I hear the boys laugh.
The girls point.
I smirk.

The bell rings.
I enter class.
"Your late!"
Silence.

I look around for an empty seat.
An empty spot, in the back.

I walk down the classroom isles.
Girls giggle.
"FREAK!"
Guys laugh.
"LOSER!"
Everyone laughs.

Teacher Begins.
--------------------
Gym Class.
It's 98 degrees outside.
Girls in shorts.
Boys in tanks.
I walk on the track.
Black sweater.
Black sweat pants.

I boil inside.

We line up.
"On your marks".
She bumps into me.
"Get set"
He cusses at me.
"GO!"

Down the track we run.
I outrace the first 5.
The next 7.
I'm in the lead.

First one across the finish line.
--------------------
In the car.
My way home.
I watch out the window.
Kids playing.
People laughing.
Families.
Friends.
Happy.

The car comes to a stop.
'Home'.

I knock the door.
Silence.
I knock again.
"Who is it?"
I reply, "Me".
The door opens.
I walk in.

"Hi..."
No reply.

I stare at the person once known as my mother.
My sister, she stares back.
Her lips are sealed.

I walk up to my room.
Sitting on my bed.
Staring at the wall.

Anger fills me.
Pressuring me.
Despair.
Hatred.

I can't stand it.

I look in the mirror.
Stare at my reflection.
Rage.

Streaks of black run down both sides of my face.

I hear every voice.
I see every face.
I hate them.
I hate them all!

I quickly take whatever I see.
Throwing it against the wall fiercely.

I jot down some thoughts in my notebook.
A drawing too.

I go into my closet.
Close the door behind me.
Reach for a towel.
Put it over my mouth.
Scream.

No one hears.

A blade lays next to me.
I can't think.

I reach for it.
Begin my art.

It gets out of hand.
I can't stop.

It burns on the outside.
But more on the inside.

Close my eyes.
Lay on the floor.
Unconscious.

An hour goes by.

My arm, bleeding.
The blade, wet.

My brain flows freely.
Feeling loose.
Weak.

Waiting on wings to break me free.
Empty.
Done.

I pull down my sleeves.
Wipe my tears.
Smile.
Move on.
Forget.
It's gone.
Regret.
Done.