8 Keys To Get A Good Night's Sleep

Sleep deprivation is a major factor in the stress, unhappiness and dissatisfaction of hundreds of thousands of people. And these hundreds of thousands of people have the same reasons you have for not doing anything about it. As a counselor, I can tell you that I've had people walk into my office feeling lost, trapped, numb, ready to pay me whatever-it-takes to get their life back, and increasing the amount and quality of their sleep was all they needed.

Sleep can seem like something else we have to "hurry up and do," and we get frustrated when we say jump and our inner sandman doesn't say "how high." Bossing the sandman around doesn't work, but there are ways to elicit his cooperation. Some of them you may have heard before, some you haven't. Some will fit your situation and some won't, but the ones that do are well worth the effort, especially if you're feeling less than enthusiastic about your life right now.

1. Stop drinking caffeine 8 hours before bedtime. "But caffeine doesn't affect me like that." The sandman disagrees. Just do it.

2. Evict the TV from the bedroom. Don't watch TV, eat, or do anything in the bedroom other than sleep, sex and getting dressed. Show the sandman you're moving him out of the closet and giving him an office.

3. Develop a routine. For 10-15 minutes before going to bed, have a standard set of tasks, like putting on PJs, brushing your teeth, washing your face, feeding the cat, closing the blinds, and taking a lap around the house to turn off lights and ensure doors are locked. This cues the sandman to get ready to work.

4. Hang bells on the door. The sandman relaxes when he knows he will hear a specific, clear noise when a door opens. When the sandman relaxes, you relax.

5. Read a book for 30 minutes before lights out. TV, computer and handheld screens stimulate the brain, making the sandman jumpy. Magazines are also designed to stimulate, so go for a plain old book. Keep in mind that what you take in during the 30 minutes before sleep is assimilated into your memory centers better than anything else you took in all day. (This makes turning off the news before bed especially important.) Read something soothing and uplifting, something you wouldn't mind dreaming about.

6. Instead of counting sheep, count gratitudes. Mentally review your day, acknowledging all the things you are grateful for, including anything you did that you deserve kudos for. For those of you inclined, make it a prayer of celebration. (No guilt mongering.)

7. Wake up to music. Get some iPod speakers and set the alarm. What's that? It wouldn't work because you'd sleep right through it? I believe you - because you're sleep deprived! Once you start getting more and better sleep, you will wake up when the music starts. And knowing it'll be your favorite song and not a violent buzzer ending his shift will make the sandman happy.

8. Work on your control issues. Sleep is our best psychological reference point for surrender. Those of us dealing with the master addiction, Control, can have an especially challenging time delegating to the sandman, or anyone. A competent counselor/therapist can help you work on this. Also, check out my article on the 6 Keys to Overcoming the Addiction to Control.