Do not be overtly affectionate towards the guy. Doing so can have two consequences: (i) where you hurt yourself by making a huge emotional investment; and (ii) where the guy gets intimidated by your actions and begins to shut you out. In case of mixed signals, never work on an assumption, as it will always backfire.
Sometimes he is hot and sometimes he is cold, but all that intermittent hotness has got you thinking of him as your potential dating prospect. After all, it is only rare to come across men who are a satisfactory package of all those things you have dreamed of until now. But his sudden distant behavior makes you feel like he doesn't care at all. However, none of these odd acts justify his utter sweet acts in the past. With so much of oscillation, it is only obvious that you are feeling confused about what this guy really feels for you.
Mixed signals that make you go weak in the knees and sometimes push your heart over the edge, can really take a toll on you emotionally. However, if you are wondering how to react to this newfound conundrum in your life, then here's what you can do.
What Are You Feeling?
The first thing you need to do is find out what you truly feel about him. Try and understand your own feelings towards him, which are devoid of momentary anger or affection. Assess what you have been experiencing over the past few months to deduce a cumulative answer to your question. If you come down to crushing on this guy, then go ahead with the following tips. In case of contrary, stop right now, put a full stop to the situation, and walk away.
Flirt With Subtlety
Every time Mr. Mixed Feelings shows you some tender love and care, revert it with slight flirtations. Give in a little, only so much that it keeps him wanting for more. See how he flirts back to know whether he is really interested in you. If he listens to you and responds with his full attention, then there's a chance that he really likes you. But, if he gives you halfhearted vague reactions, he is just fooling around.
Measure Your Emotional Investment
While it is true that one cannot make a measured emotional investment in a circumstance, it is also true that one needs to pull out if the risk is too much. If all that flirty behavior does not lead to much of an evidence, then do not invest too much into this Mr. Potential Prospect. However, if you are still very interested in getting to know him and finding out whether he really likes you, then here's what to do.
Reciprocate His Cold Behavior
Yes, do that! So he thinks only he can act all cold and distant? Show him that so can you. All that attention that he has been giving you, you too must have given him some. The kind that he has liked and gotten slightly used to. So, this time around, you too shut him out to give him a taste of his own medicine. Sometimes, when people are treated the way they treat others, it helps them introspect and understand what they are doing. Who knows, he may realize your worth and stop playing these games.
Make Only One Move
If his cold phase is lasting too long, one that is making you worry incessantly, then make one move. Send a message or a mail to him to know how he is doing. Make only one move, as anything more than that will make it look like you have read him incorrectly. If he is already maintaining a distance, then a desperate attempt at contacting him will push him away further.
Maintain Your Dignity and Respect
If he does not respond to your messages or calls, or if refuses to talk to you for a prolonged time, only to make an affectionate comeback, stay away. Do not send too many messages the next time, as it will make you look too pushy and desperate. Maintain your respect in your eyes and in his too. Nothing is ever worth losing your dignity.
Confront If It Is Too Frustrating
If the whole situation gets out of control, confront him. Ask him what his real intentions are. Have a heart-to-heart talk about the situation the two of you are stuck in. This will always be a sure way of finding out the truth of the matter, if he does not respond to your actions in the right way.
Never assume that the guy loves you or likes you just because he shows slight signs of interest. He may as well be playing the field, testing the waters, or merely be in it for fun without emotional attachments. Unless you have an evidence of his real emotions, do not work on an assumption. Lastly, always remember that his actions should speak louder than words. Just sweet talking never got anyone anywhere!