Never Again

My mind restless
My thoughts relentless
I feel my spirit decaying so effortless
My body melts into the madness

I feel my heartbeats constrict
As my mind rattles with conflict
The pain on my face doesn't even depict
The pain my heart that's making me sick

I often think of how I used to be
So incredibly blind to the world around me
My internal pain no one else could see
I so desperately wanted to only break free

I always stood up for what I believed in
Never followed you on your path of sin
But you kept me confined, unable to win
So my journey of destruction was about to begin

I just tried to stay sane
While you constantly played your malicious game
I felt un-identified, without a name
I was just another nobody filled with shame

I stood in the shadows unseen
Not feeling pure but feeling unclean
The things held inside were truly obscene
I wish I could be back with life so serene

I tried to numb the pain in ways unreal
Did everything I could so I didn't have to feel
My emotions hid behind a mask to conceal
I knew I'd been destroyed, unable to heal

As I lay at night staring at the ceiling
My mind keeps going, thoughts just reeling
You never cared about my well-being
Never cared to ask how I was even feeling

I knew that I was stuck in a shell
And whenever I tried to run I always fell
Into continuing on the path of hell
Making my mind and spirit unwell

But whenever I think I wasn't strong
I remember that I was incredibly wrong
Because I was able to leave you along
The way of me moving on, finally gone

I left you all alone unable to defend
With all these questions you couldn't comprehend
But I KNOW one thing to the bitter end
Who I was THEN I will NEVER be again....