Fake

I sold my soul just to please you
I cried nights because I'm not perfect
I look in the mirror, all I see is
Ugly
Fake
Liar
Not pretty
An outcast

I hate myself, I hate the world, I am a whore
I want to breathe no more, end my life
I want to scream at you, make you understand
Why would you understand!
You where born perfect, natural
I'm a monster
A monster that needs to be locked up for its dangerousness
I walk to the kitchen, the kitchen full of knives

I hate life, I despise you
I grab one of the knives and rake it across my wrist
I scream of pain, of angst, of imperfection.
In my final moments, your hateful face flashes through my mind
I cut deeper, soaking myself into a bath of crimson.
You wont miss me, no one will.
Once they find my pale, dead body, they will laugh, laugh of joy.
No one cares.

My final moments don't come, instead, I wake up in pure whiteness, engulfed in synthetic smells.
I'm still alive
My failure sinks deep in my bones, the failure of surviving
Death, you, you turned away, betrayed me!
I scream as I stand up and walk towards the window.
My wounds cry for death, for the grave
I need to die, I want to die!
I don't die but walk out the door, to a new horrid path