Dear Diary...
A short story about two lovers torn apart with a slight twist.
1/2/11
Dear diary,
First day today. New kids galore... So far, I know one of their names. I found it out when I made him walk the trough.
His name is Sascha. Frickin' girliest name I've ever heard! No wonder he's gay...
I first saw him when he smiled at me in assembly. Mistake number one. Tried to talk to me. Mistake number two.
Then there was mistake number three. As we were walking away from assembly, he brushed past me. His hand touched mine.
I don't want him touching me! I could become gay or something! No... Something had to be done.
Me and Bear taught him a lesson. We made him take off his shoes, dragged him into the bathroom and make him walk the trough right after we had peed in it! Hahaha!
Serves him right too.
Frickin' homo.
Mr. Bowden called Bear and me to his office. We got yelled at. No surprises there. Mum was hella' angry though when she had to pick me up... She had to leave work halfway through the day because she got a phone call saying I was suspended. Again.
The fricking homo made me lose my computer for a week.
He's gonna pay.
1/2/11
Dear diary,
It was my first day at a new school today. What to say...
This complete idiot called Ranin and his friend 'Bear' were giving me crap all day!
At my new school, we have assembly at the start of the day. I decided that at this school, unlike my others, I would try to make friends straight away.
I saw an okay looking guy (Ranin) sitting there, in the main quad, staring at me so I smiled and tried to say hello.
It was the biggest mistakes of my life.
He lost it. "Get out of my face you effing queer or I'll rip your effing legs off!"
I don't think I've ever been more upset. As I ran away from assembly, tears streaming down my face, I accidentally brushed his arm with mine.
I suppose it's kind of a cruel irony that they dragged me to the bathroom as it is where I was going in the first place.
They (Ranin and Bear) unzipped their pants, peed in the trough, made me take my shoes off and walk in it.
By this time, I had gone zen. I was so upset and angry that I couldn't possibly express... I closed my eyes and did what they told me to. I knew that they would get their reward.
And they did.
The principal, Mr. Bowden called them out of biology. Our classroom is near the gate and as I looked out the window, I saw Ranin being screeched at by his mother, walking out of the school with a look of utter hatred in his eyes...
I'm scared for tomorrow.
3/3/11
Dear diary,
He got what he deserved!
Everyone says I was too harsh on him. But no one gets my computer taken away for a week and gets away with it.
At the start of first period I locked him in the girl's bathroom.
I think teachers spent the entire day looking for him.
But as bad as all this was, I didn't get quite the satisfaction I thought I would...
I went back at the start of fifth period to let him out, only to discover that his eyes were red and puffy. He had been crying all day...
When he saw me, he started to yell at me. He tried to punch and kick me as well. He's not particularly strong so it didn't hurt too much. Physically.
Mentally, it hurt a lot. I had made heaps of people cry before him. I don't know why this affected me so much.
I don't know. Must be because I had never seen him cry before. With any luck, I'll get used to it. Lord knows he'll be getting many a beating by the end of this year.
I ran.
3/1/11
Dear diary,
My much anticipated beating was somewhat anticlimactic. All that happened was he locked me in one of the girl's bathroom for half the day.
Honestly, it wasn't that bad. I had my phone, my iPod... I was more or less set.
But then I started thinking about him.
He was honestly quite good looking. Tall, muscular, brown hair with near black eyes.
I'm not sure why but that the thought that we would never get the opportunity to be friends got to me and I started crying. Again.
But this time, it didn't stop. It just kept coming.
Before I knew it, my eyes were red and puffy. I looked in mirror and saw my former self as if he had been hit in the eyes with a frying pan.
Time moved quickly.
Much to my dismay, he came back. He looked at me and for a second, I thought I saw regret in his eyes.
But then the rage broke through my nonchalant facade and I clenched my fists.
I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to make him feel as he had done me.
I ran at him and started punching every last square inch of his muscular form.
He needed to hurt.
He ran.
12/3/11
Dear diary,
Turns out that idiot Sascha is alright...
Mr. Bowden made us take counseling together and we were made to stay together for an entire day.
He's a really nice guy...
I felt absolutely awful when I found out that he got bullied at all his other previous schools because he was gay.
I don't know what made me do it. I just don't think it's natural to like someone of the same sex. But anyway...
Yeah, he came over today. We were partnered together for an English assignment.
He was polite, nice and best of all, I think he had forgiven me for our little spat a month ago.
When he first came over, he stepped into my room and lay down on my bed. I knew it should have been uncomfortable but it wasn't. I knew I should have hated that he felt so comfortable around me. But I didn't.
At school, he still wasn't allowed to come near me. I didn't want people thinking I hung out with homos.
But at the same time, his company was different to everyone else's. I'd never really felt more... Comfortable around anyone.
Ahh, but who cares? Doesn't mean anything...
12/3/11
Dear diary,
Ranin...
I don't get him...
I had to go his house today for an English assignment. He looked like he was fighting this internal war with himself the whole time.
Sure, he was polite enough but there was something odd...
I decided to test the waters. I sat down on his bed then slowly laid down.
He smiled at me. Smiled!?
I had just laid down where he slept, they guy who made me walk through his piss a month ago and have his computer taken away for a week (so I heard) and all he did was smile?
I don't know.
But he has warmed up a lot to me since the first day of school. He doesn't let me talk to him in front of people but because we catch the same bus, he's always talking to me then. Telling me about his family and his friends...
He's also always talking to me about... Things like fashion, music... Never sports or boobs...
I think he's a very confused young man.
But it is NOT my business to tell so I shan't...
Still, I can't help but feel some pride in the fact that he is opening up to me so honestly.
I suspect it's because he's keeping a secret. The same one I kept until last year.
But again, it's not my place to tell.
24/3/11
Dear diary,
He came over again today...
It wasn't my fault!
We were sitting there, watching TV and this ad for that movie "The Notebook" came on...
They played the scene where the main characters are kissing in the rain...
He made some remark about how he has always wanted to kiss someone in the rain. I don't know, I wasn't really paying much attention to it. I was paying attention to the idea of how awkward this may become if he discovered it was raining outside.
I guess he already knew...
I asked him if he wanted to go grab a coffee because there was nothing to do at home... He said sure.
And, of course, no one at school was to know that we were now friends...
Anyway, we went outside to get in my car and it was bucketing down. I tried to unlock the driver's door and he slipped and landed on my back, me leaning against the door.
I turned with him still on top of me.
I leaned in.
It wasn't my fault.
24/3/11
Dear Diary,
Ranin.
I feel that's all I ever think about anymore.
He invited me over to his house again today, this time without the excuse of an assignment.
No parents were around.
He kept giving me these looks... Of confusion? Of yearning? I couldn't tell.
We finished watching some lame documentary about the Great Barrier Reef and he invited me out for coffee.
Who was I to say no?
I grabbed my jacket and followed him out to the car. I walked out the door and immediately felt the icy cold slap of rain on my hair as it fell from the balcony above me.
I wasn't paying enough attention to where I was walking and slipped.
In an almost bittersweet way, I landed on top of him as he tried to unlock the driver's door,
He turned with me still on top of him.
He leaned in.
And there it was. My Notebook moment.
25/3/11
Dear diary,
He came up to me at school today. He tried to speak to me...
Bear was watching.
"Can we talk about this?"
He looked confused but happy at the same time. I was no queer's boyfriend.
I told him to get away from me...
"Why? Is there something wrong? What did I do?"
I pushed him. I pushed him harder than I thought. He fell down to the ground and hit his head...
I told him to stay away and he didn't. That's what he gets.
I could feel my insides shredding themselves into a million pieces at the sight of him, lying on the ground, helpless as Bear threw away his bag and called him a fag...
"Help me."
I ran in the other direction, tears streaming down my face...
I failed him.
25/3/11
Dear diary,
I was confused about what had happened yesterday... Did he like it? Didn't he?
I decided to talk to him. I gathered all the courage I could muster and walked to where he sat...
I asked him if we could take about it.
"Get away from me, homo!"
I didn't understand... He was the one who kissed me...
I asked him if anything was wrong...
Then he pushed me to the ground. I hit my head pretty hard. I was dazed.
How could he do this to me? But then I understood. He was ashamed. He was ashamed of me. Ashamed of being with another guy...
It tore me up inside and brought my heart up to my throat.
Bear came over and threw away my bag...
"Hey faggot! Suck on this!"
I tried one last time. I asked Ranin for help.
He ran in the other direction.
Never have I hurt more. I curled into the fetal position and let what would happen, happen.
He failed me.
27/3/11
Dear diary,
Sascha moved away.
Dear diary,
First day today. New kids galore... So far, I know one of their names. I found it out when I made him walk the trough.
His name is Sascha. Frickin' girliest name I've ever heard! No wonder he's gay...
I first saw him when he smiled at me in assembly. Mistake number one. Tried to talk to me. Mistake number two.
Then there was mistake number three. As we were walking away from assembly, he brushed past me. His hand touched mine.
I don't want him touching me! I could become gay or something! No... Something had to be done.
Me and Bear taught him a lesson. We made him take off his shoes, dragged him into the bathroom and make him walk the trough right after we had peed in it! Hahaha!
Serves him right too.
Frickin' homo.
Mr. Bowden called Bear and me to his office. We got yelled at. No surprises there. Mum was hella' angry though when she had to pick me up... She had to leave work halfway through the day because she got a phone call saying I was suspended. Again.
The fricking homo made me lose my computer for a week.
He's gonna pay.
1/2/11
Dear diary,
It was my first day at a new school today. What to say...
This complete idiot called Ranin and his friend 'Bear' were giving me crap all day!
At my new school, we have assembly at the start of the day. I decided that at this school, unlike my others, I would try to make friends straight away.
I saw an okay looking guy (Ranin) sitting there, in the main quad, staring at me so I smiled and tried to say hello.
It was the biggest mistakes of my life.
He lost it. "Get out of my face you effing queer or I'll rip your effing legs off!"
I don't think I've ever been more upset. As I ran away from assembly, tears streaming down my face, I accidentally brushed his arm with mine.
I suppose it's kind of a cruel irony that they dragged me to the bathroom as it is where I was going in the first place.
They (Ranin and Bear) unzipped their pants, peed in the trough, made me take my shoes off and walk in it.
By this time, I had gone zen. I was so upset and angry that I couldn't possibly express... I closed my eyes and did what they told me to. I knew that they would get their reward.
And they did.
The principal, Mr. Bowden called them out of biology. Our classroom is near the gate and as I looked out the window, I saw Ranin being screeched at by his mother, walking out of the school with a look of utter hatred in his eyes...
I'm scared for tomorrow.
3/3/11
Dear diary,
He got what he deserved!
Everyone says I was too harsh on him. But no one gets my computer taken away for a week and gets away with it.
At the start of first period I locked him in the girl's bathroom.
I think teachers spent the entire day looking for him.
But as bad as all this was, I didn't get quite the satisfaction I thought I would...
I went back at the start of fifth period to let him out, only to discover that his eyes were red and puffy. He had been crying all day...
When he saw me, he started to yell at me. He tried to punch and kick me as well. He's not particularly strong so it didn't hurt too much. Physically.
Mentally, it hurt a lot. I had made heaps of people cry before him. I don't know why this affected me so much.
I don't know. Must be because I had never seen him cry before. With any luck, I'll get used to it. Lord knows he'll be getting many a beating by the end of this year.
I ran.
3/1/11
Dear diary,
My much anticipated beating was somewhat anticlimactic. All that happened was he locked me in one of the girl's bathroom for half the day.
Honestly, it wasn't that bad. I had my phone, my iPod... I was more or less set.
But then I started thinking about him.
He was honestly quite good looking. Tall, muscular, brown hair with near black eyes.
I'm not sure why but that the thought that we would never get the opportunity to be friends got to me and I started crying. Again.
But this time, it didn't stop. It just kept coming.
Before I knew it, my eyes were red and puffy. I looked in mirror and saw my former self as if he had been hit in the eyes with a frying pan.
Time moved quickly.
Much to my dismay, he came back. He looked at me and for a second, I thought I saw regret in his eyes.
But then the rage broke through my nonchalant facade and I clenched my fists.
I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to make him feel as he had done me.
I ran at him and started punching every last square inch of his muscular form.
He needed to hurt.
He ran.
12/3/11
Dear diary,
Turns out that idiot Sascha is alright...
Mr. Bowden made us take counseling together and we were made to stay together for an entire day.
He's a really nice guy...
I felt absolutely awful when I found out that he got bullied at all his other previous schools because he was gay.
I don't know what made me do it. I just don't think it's natural to like someone of the same sex. But anyway...
Yeah, he came over today. We were partnered together for an English assignment.
He was polite, nice and best of all, I think he had forgiven me for our little spat a month ago.
When he first came over, he stepped into my room and lay down on my bed. I knew it should have been uncomfortable but it wasn't. I knew I should have hated that he felt so comfortable around me. But I didn't.
At school, he still wasn't allowed to come near me. I didn't want people thinking I hung out with homos.
But at the same time, his company was different to everyone else's. I'd never really felt more... Comfortable around anyone.
Ahh, but who cares? Doesn't mean anything...
12/3/11
Dear diary,
Ranin...
I don't get him...
I had to go his house today for an English assignment. He looked like he was fighting this internal war with himself the whole time.
Sure, he was polite enough but there was something odd...
I decided to test the waters. I sat down on his bed then slowly laid down.
He smiled at me. Smiled!?
I had just laid down where he slept, they guy who made me walk through his piss a month ago and have his computer taken away for a week (so I heard) and all he did was smile?
I don't know.
But he has warmed up a lot to me since the first day of school. He doesn't let me talk to him in front of people but because we catch the same bus, he's always talking to me then. Telling me about his family and his friends...
He's also always talking to me about... Things like fashion, music... Never sports or boobs...
I think he's a very confused young man.
But it is NOT my business to tell so I shan't...
Still, I can't help but feel some pride in the fact that he is opening up to me so honestly.
I suspect it's because he's keeping a secret. The same one I kept until last year.
But again, it's not my place to tell.
24/3/11
Dear diary,
He came over again today...
It wasn't my fault!
We were sitting there, watching TV and this ad for that movie "The Notebook" came on...
They played the scene where the main characters are kissing in the rain...
He made some remark about how he has always wanted to kiss someone in the rain. I don't know, I wasn't really paying much attention to it. I was paying attention to the idea of how awkward this may become if he discovered it was raining outside.
I guess he already knew...
I asked him if he wanted to go grab a coffee because there was nothing to do at home... He said sure.
And, of course, no one at school was to know that we were now friends...
Anyway, we went outside to get in my car and it was bucketing down. I tried to unlock the driver's door and he slipped and landed on my back, me leaning against the door.
I turned with him still on top of me.
I leaned in.
It wasn't my fault.
24/3/11
Dear Diary,
Ranin.
I feel that's all I ever think about anymore.
He invited me over to his house again today, this time without the excuse of an assignment.
No parents were around.
He kept giving me these looks... Of confusion? Of yearning? I couldn't tell.
We finished watching some lame documentary about the Great Barrier Reef and he invited me out for coffee.
Who was I to say no?
I grabbed my jacket and followed him out to the car. I walked out the door and immediately felt the icy cold slap of rain on my hair as it fell from the balcony above me.
I wasn't paying enough attention to where I was walking and slipped.
In an almost bittersweet way, I landed on top of him as he tried to unlock the driver's door,
He turned with me still on top of him.
He leaned in.
And there it was. My Notebook moment.
25/3/11
Dear diary,
He came up to me at school today. He tried to speak to me...
Bear was watching.
"Can we talk about this?"
He looked confused but happy at the same time. I was no queer's boyfriend.
I told him to get away from me...
"Why? Is there something wrong? What did I do?"
I pushed him. I pushed him harder than I thought. He fell down to the ground and hit his head...
I told him to stay away and he didn't. That's what he gets.
I could feel my insides shredding themselves into a million pieces at the sight of him, lying on the ground, helpless as Bear threw away his bag and called him a fag...
"Help me."
I ran in the other direction, tears streaming down my face...
I failed him.
25/3/11
Dear diary,
I was confused about what had happened yesterday... Did he like it? Didn't he?
I decided to talk to him. I gathered all the courage I could muster and walked to where he sat...
I asked him if we could take about it.
"Get away from me, homo!"
I didn't understand... He was the one who kissed me...
I asked him if anything was wrong...
Then he pushed me to the ground. I hit my head pretty hard. I was dazed.
How could he do this to me? But then I understood. He was ashamed. He was ashamed of me. Ashamed of being with another guy...
It tore me up inside and brought my heart up to my throat.
Bear came over and threw away my bag...
"Hey faggot! Suck on this!"
I tried one last time. I asked Ranin for help.
He ran in the other direction.
Never have I hurt more. I curled into the fetal position and let what would happen, happen.
He failed me.
27/3/11
Dear diary,
Sascha moved away.
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