Helpless

I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t resist. As soon as I walked in my room I knew I would do it. Whatever, I thought to myself. I gave in and dived face first on top of my ever-so-familiar bed and just laid there. As if I had absolutely no goals in life, as if I had no priorities. No overdue books to return to the library. No projects to complete. No Algebra test to study for. Nope, I have absolutely no worries right now. Ring, ring, ring.

Darn. I did it again. I slept straight though Sunday afternoon to Monday morning… gosh what is that ringing in my head coming from I asked myself. Oh wait, it’s my alarm clock. I pried myself of the sheets and took a look in the mirror across the room. Yep, it’s official, I'm a mess. My black hair is all over the place. Drool all over my cheek and somehow, my neck. And oh yeah, I still have on my clothes from yesterday. Superb. My tongue feels all leathery. I must have slept with my mouth open last night. My room lamp was on as if someone had been in here. Probably mom. I can imagine the whole scene last night. "Aww. Look at my precious angel sleeping so peacefully. I better not wake her up." Or if it was one of "those days" at work she would have said "Who let that girl sleep so long? Doesn’t she have homework to do? Lazy teenage freeloader…" It could go either way.

All of this thinking about my previous night has my head throbbing. I check the clock. 5:01 Am. I open the window expecting to see the early morning sky but instead find it incredibly bright as if it is noonday. I checked again to see if I read the clock right. Apparently not because this time it said 12:00PM. Why is it so bright? And on top of that I can see the twins across the street playing tag in the road. Unsupervised. Why are they out this early in the morning? There always outside pestering the anthills in their yard or across the street in my yard. They are always running into the road without looking both ways. Poor, poor five-year-olds. I swear I think there mom just wants them to get hit by a car or something. As soon as I thought it, it happened. On this strangely bight Thursday morning, 5:01 the car came. Screams of children. Blood everywhere. Five year old body parts on the ground all scattered out. A traumatized expression on my face.

I stood there in shock. I was too stunned to do anything about it. My first thought was to call 911. I attempted to snap out of confusion but failed. I was in too much of a trance to do anything I absent-mindedly closed to curtains and disheveled my room, searching for my phone. I looked at the time on my phone, when I finally found it, snapped out of confusion and blinked. The time on my phone said 5:02am. Just as I blinked the road was clear. They sky was the way it should be at five o’clock in the morning. No five year olds. Nothing. Just the faded morning sky, my phone and I. I blinked again. What just happened? I feel like I’ve been standing here doing something. But I forgot. What was I doing again? I try thinking back to when I first got up and looked in the mirror…and then what. It feels like a huge chunk of memory has been removed from my brain. Almost as if I’ve been brainwashed. Nah. It’s too early to be thinking. I must rest at least until 7:00. I fell head first into the bed and shut my eyes. I really didn’t want to start out my day like this.