Found
Unsure whether to make this into a story or not? Help?
Chapter 1
A golden leaf fluttered to the ground. It was the middle of autumn and despite the sun, everywhere felt the cold. Night was falling and everything was silhouetted against the golden sun as it slowly fell behind the great mountains that encompassed the valley. All things seemed unnaturally perfect in the light of the fading sun.
A bloodhound scuffled the leaves as he set about his work, his owner followed slowly behind - waiting. Suddenly, the dog stopped in his tracks; sniffed and with a great bound landed next to the nearest tree. He gave a howl of triumph as he found what he was looking for - a small man, not even up to his waist, jumped out of the leaves. His clothes were ragged, his face covered in stubble and dirt. He obviously hadn't washed for days. The small man glanced quickly at the owner of the dog and froze. Not a muscle in his body twitched. He knew this man. He had never seen him but he'd heard the rumors. This was the man who had been looking for him. Dressed in black from head to foot, half his face, lit up by the setting sun and then around his waist - his weapons for killing.
"Well Caper, you've been running for a long time..." said the man in black. " I thought you would've known better than to keep running. I always find you. No matter what. Although, you have been tricky to track... Not for long though, that can be fixed quite easily." He ran his fingers over the sharp throwing knives which hung about his waist and grinned maliciously.
"Please!" gasped Caper, "I'll do anything! Just don't kill me! I'm begging you.." The man only chuckled heartlessly.
"Oh, don't you worry, I wasn't planning to kill you. Just... slow you down a bit." Before Caper knew what was happening, a flash of silver and two slender knives had embedded themselves in his leg muscles.
"Now, you had better do as I ask Caper, or you'll have to pay with more than just disabled legs." He turned sharply and strode off into the darkness, his dog padding softly behind, leaving the man whimpering in the leaves.
The sun's last rays shone over the mountains, showing us a last glimpse of the golden leaves, turned red with blood.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let me know your verdict?
Any comments or suggestions are welcome
How to improve? What to change? How the story should go?
Also, I wouldn't know what to call it, something short and sweet please (;
Many thanks,
A golden leaf fluttered to the ground. It was the middle of autumn and despite the sun, everywhere felt the cold. Night was falling and everything was silhouetted against the golden sun as it slowly fell behind the great mountains that encompassed the valley. All things seemed unnaturally perfect in the light of the fading sun.
A bloodhound scuffled the leaves as he set about his work, his owner followed slowly behind - waiting. Suddenly, the dog stopped in his tracks; sniffed and with a great bound landed next to the nearest tree. He gave a howl of triumph as he found what he was looking for - a small man, not even up to his waist, jumped out of the leaves. His clothes were ragged, his face covered in stubble and dirt. He obviously hadn't washed for days. The small man glanced quickly at the owner of the dog and froze. Not a muscle in his body twitched. He knew this man. He had never seen him but he'd heard the rumors. This was the man who had been looking for him. Dressed in black from head to foot, half his face, lit up by the setting sun and then around his waist - his weapons for killing.
"Well Caper, you've been running for a long time..." said the man in black. " I thought you would've known better than to keep running. I always find you. No matter what. Although, you have been tricky to track... Not for long though, that can be fixed quite easily." He ran his fingers over the sharp throwing knives which hung about his waist and grinned maliciously.
"Please!" gasped Caper, "I'll do anything! Just don't kill me! I'm begging you.." The man only chuckled heartlessly.
"Oh, don't you worry, I wasn't planning to kill you. Just... slow you down a bit." Before Caper knew what was happening, a flash of silver and two slender knives had embedded themselves in his leg muscles.
"Now, you had better do as I ask Caper, or you'll have to pay with more than just disabled legs." He turned sharply and strode off into the darkness, his dog padding softly behind, leaving the man whimpering in the leaves.
The sun's last rays shone over the mountains, showing us a last glimpse of the golden leaves, turned red with blood.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let me know your verdict?
Any comments or suggestions are welcome
How to improve? What to change? How the story should go?
Also, I wouldn't know what to call it, something short and sweet please (;
Many thanks,
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