Father

Did I live up to your expectations?
Was I everything you wanted me to be?
Do you smile and brag to your friends in heaven,
While you look down on me

I don’t think I ever made you proud,
All I ever drew was your screams.
I don’t want to ever be like you,
And haunt my daughter’s dreams.

I feel horrible for being honest,
But I don’t miss you as much as I should.
I really never wanted to see you go,
My memories of us are not good.

You said I could never do it,
And I hope I proved you wrong.
I wish you were here to see me now,
It is too bad that you are gone.

I made it, I am a success,
And I did it my way.
My world is not perfect,
But I made a difference today.

I will not do to my daughters,
Everything you did to me.
I will show them love,
And not hit them when angry.

I wish things were better between us,
I wish my daughters knew you.
I wish I was a better child,
I wish you could see what I turned into.

All I ever did was try to impress,
Maybe now you could look at me with pride.
Or maybe now you would be even more disappointed,
You may feel I made the wrong choices since you died.