3 Ways to Bounce Back from Adversity
Our reaction to adversity plays a big role in determining how fast we get back on track with life. Research shows that resilience to adversity in our life may be linked to how often we face it.
At ten years of age, I rode my bike on a cow trail near our ranch house in Wyoming. I sped along at a good clip, too fast to notice a coiled rattlesnake on the other side of the rock - until the snake struck out at full length.
My bike flipped, and as I landed, I felt dozens of pricks all over my arms and hands. My mind raced with fear because I thought the rattlesnake had bitten me. We lived on a remote ranch in the mountains and it was a two-hour drive on dirt roads to a hospital. At ten, I prepared myself to die of snake poisoning.
Right about the time I was mourning the loss of what could have been a spectacular life, I noticed that I had landed in a pile of cactus. The wreck of my bike told me the rest of the story - the snake had struck the spokes of the front wheel and was now struggling to get out of the broken and bent spoke wires.
My first instinct was to run home to safety, but my parents had taught me that nothing can be accomplished by running, so I found a good sized rock and made sure that particular rattlesnake would never terrorize my cow lane again.
Then I loaded the bike on my shoulders and carried the sorry mess home.
Adversity Plays an Important Role
Years later, as an FBI agent, I realized that our reaction to adversity plays a big role in determining how strong minds are formed and resilience developed. New research suggests that resilience to adversity in our life may be linked to how often we face it. So, the number of blows a person has taken may affect their mental toughness more than any other factor.
However, digging into old research revealed that this lesson by the early Christians who were being thrown into dungeons by the Romans. The apostle Paul wrote the following in his letter to the Romans: "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope." (Romans 5:3-4).
It seems the School of Hard Knocks has been around awhile.
Adversity and challenges force us to:
- Cope with our situation.
- Learn about our own capabilities.
- Identify our support networks.
The Right Stuff
A person with a strong mind is someone who can predict the way they will respond to events in life so they can choose the better alternative.
They can look back at how they've responded to situations in the past, learn from those experiences, and apply that knowledge to future ones. In other words, they are resilient and know how to bounce back after a traumatic event. It goes back to the same thing my coach at the FBI Academy shouted in my ear for eighteen of the longest weeks of my life: "No Pain. No Gain."
Ugh.
Living through adversity gives you the confidence that you can come out the other end of almost anything. Here are a few tips to help you develop resilience:
TIP #1 Overcome Fear
My first reaction to the rattlesnake was a healthy dose of fear. At some point, however, I had a choice of letting that fear control me. If it did, it meant I ran home and waited for my parents to take care of both the snake and my bike. If I didn't let fear control me, it meant I got myself out of the situation using my own resources.
Develop an understanding of your fear. Chances are good that your fear sprouts from feelings of insecurity or doubts you may have about yourself. It takes courage to look inwardly into the darkest part of your personality. Often, there is a child with an unfulfilled need. Find someone you can trust, and who respects you, and discuss the source of your fear.
TIP #2 Take Risks
Even though I grew up on a cattle ranch in Wyoming, I had never shot a gun in my life before entering the FBI Academy. I took a risk that I would get through firearms training and find my new life rewarding. I quit my job, sold my car, and placed my future in the hands of the FBI. It was one of the best risks I've ever taken.
Move outside your comfort zone. When was the last time you took a risk? We get too comfortable in life, whether it's business or family, and stay there because it feels safe - and comfortable. We settle. When was the last time you took a risk? Maybe not something major, or life-threatening, but something that represented a step outside your comfort zone? Do it!
TIP #3 Practice
The FBI Academy coach drew a bead on me the minute he learned I couldn't do sit-ups. My life there became centered on the gym and the FBI's physical fitness requirements. Otherwise, I wouldn't graduate from the academy - remember, I took a risk and quit my job. I spent eighteen weeks struggling but in the end, I made it.
Building a strong mind is a little like building strong muscles; it cannot develop without exercise. It breaks down when overworked. It weakens when not practiced enough. Fine-tune your skills by embracing challenges rather than finding ways to avoid them.
How have you developed a strong mind? What have you done to develop resilience? How have your fears held you back? What tips do you have to offer someone who is experiencing adversity?
My bike flipped, and as I landed, I felt dozens of pricks all over my arms and hands. My mind raced with fear because I thought the rattlesnake had bitten me. We lived on a remote ranch in the mountains and it was a two-hour drive on dirt roads to a hospital. At ten, I prepared myself to die of snake poisoning.
Right about the time I was mourning the loss of what could have been a spectacular life, I noticed that I had landed in a pile of cactus. The wreck of my bike told me the rest of the story - the snake had struck the spokes of the front wheel and was now struggling to get out of the broken and bent spoke wires.
My first instinct was to run home to safety, but my parents had taught me that nothing can be accomplished by running, so I found a good sized rock and made sure that particular rattlesnake would never terrorize my cow lane again.
Then I loaded the bike on my shoulders and carried the sorry mess home.
Adversity Plays an Important Role
Years later, as an FBI agent, I realized that our reaction to adversity plays a big role in determining how strong minds are formed and resilience developed. New research suggests that resilience to adversity in our life may be linked to how often we face it. So, the number of blows a person has taken may affect their mental toughness more than any other factor.
However, digging into old research revealed that this lesson by the early Christians who were being thrown into dungeons by the Romans. The apostle Paul wrote the following in his letter to the Romans: "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope." (Romans 5:3-4).
It seems the School of Hard Knocks has been around awhile.
Adversity and challenges force us to:
- Cope with our situation.
- Learn about our own capabilities.
- Identify our support networks.
The Right Stuff
A person with a strong mind is someone who can predict the way they will respond to events in life so they can choose the better alternative.
They can look back at how they've responded to situations in the past, learn from those experiences, and apply that knowledge to future ones. In other words, they are resilient and know how to bounce back after a traumatic event. It goes back to the same thing my coach at the FBI Academy shouted in my ear for eighteen of the longest weeks of my life: "No Pain. No Gain."
Ugh.
Living through adversity gives you the confidence that you can come out the other end of almost anything. Here are a few tips to help you develop resilience:
TIP #1 Overcome Fear
My first reaction to the rattlesnake was a healthy dose of fear. At some point, however, I had a choice of letting that fear control me. If it did, it meant I ran home and waited for my parents to take care of both the snake and my bike. If I didn't let fear control me, it meant I got myself out of the situation using my own resources.
Develop an understanding of your fear. Chances are good that your fear sprouts from feelings of insecurity or doubts you may have about yourself. It takes courage to look inwardly into the darkest part of your personality. Often, there is a child with an unfulfilled need. Find someone you can trust, and who respects you, and discuss the source of your fear.
TIP #2 Take Risks
Even though I grew up on a cattle ranch in Wyoming, I had never shot a gun in my life before entering the FBI Academy. I took a risk that I would get through firearms training and find my new life rewarding. I quit my job, sold my car, and placed my future in the hands of the FBI. It was one of the best risks I've ever taken.
Move outside your comfort zone. When was the last time you took a risk? We get too comfortable in life, whether it's business or family, and stay there because it feels safe - and comfortable. We settle. When was the last time you took a risk? Maybe not something major, or life-threatening, but something that represented a step outside your comfort zone? Do it!
TIP #3 Practice
The FBI Academy coach drew a bead on me the minute he learned I couldn't do sit-ups. My life there became centered on the gym and the FBI's physical fitness requirements. Otherwise, I wouldn't graduate from the academy - remember, I took a risk and quit my job. I spent eighteen weeks struggling but in the end, I made it.
Building a strong mind is a little like building strong muscles; it cannot develop without exercise. It breaks down when overworked. It weakens when not practiced enough. Fine-tune your skills by embracing challenges rather than finding ways to avoid them.
How have you developed a strong mind? What have you done to develop resilience? How have your fears held you back? What tips do you have to offer someone who is experiencing adversity?
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