Football Transfer Rumours: Anton Ferdinand to Tottenham Hotspur

Tales of dressing room rancor prompting the apparent dismissal of a big-name star are grist to the Rumor Mill's ... um, mill, so you can imagine how excited we were upon hearing that the Sugababes have swooped to sign up Eurovision singer Jade Ewen, who has been drafted into the line-up to replace Keisha Buchanan. Dismissed amid rumors of bullying and discord, Buchanan had been the only original Sugababe still performing in a pop group formed way back in 1998, until; you consider an ever-changing line-up that calls to mind that episode of Only Fools And Horses in which road-sweeper Trigger boasted about having used the same brush for 20 years - a claim that lost much of its impact with the revelation that the street-cleaning implement in question had 14 new handles and 17 new heads in that time.

QPR co-owner Flavio Briatore may have to go the way of Keisha and launch a solo career now it has become apparent that the overweight Italian with the carnal CV boasting more supermodels than a copy of Vogue magazine (what was it attracted all those beautiful young women to the yacht-owning, multi-millionaire etc and so on) may get to glory in the acclaim that comes with being the first person ever to fail the Football League's fit and proper person's test. The Football League's rules preclude anyone who has been disqualified by another sporting body from owning a football team, and the former Renault team chief falls into that bracket having been banned for life from Formula One yesterday for his part in Nelson Piquet Jr's prang at the Singapore grand prix.

Considering 50% of his first-choice back four is comprised of Jonathan Woodgate and Ledley King, it's no surprise that the adjective "injury-stricken" is already being applied to Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp's defence. According to today's Mirror, Harry is set to reduce that description to "stricken" by signing the increasingly hapless Anton Ferdinand from Sunderland in January. The Mirror also reveals that Tottenham are also "tracking" Sampdoria's Spanish teenage midfielder Pedro Mba Obiang. Whether this is through the use of GPS, or an old native American indian who hunkers down, touches blades of grass, sniffs the air and points a lot remains unclear

Newcastle United and Nottingham Forest both want a loan of Leon Cort, but Stoke City manager Tony Pulis is keeping the defender at cthe Britannia Stadium as cover after lending Andrew Davies to Sheffield United. Meanwhile at Goodison Park, David Moyes is pulling a stocking-mask over his head and loading up his sawn-off shotgun in preparation for his January "raid" on the Priestfield Stadium for Gillingham striker Simeon Jackson.

Scottish FA chief, Uefa big cheese and card-carrying member of the Eduardo fan club Gordon Smith has called for Gary McAllister to be installed as Scotland manager George Burley's No2, while Sheffield United are ready to rescue the career of French striker Fabrice Pancrate from the doldrums by offering him a contract. The free agent's confidence couldn't be at a much lower ebb, considering he was rejected by goalshy Premier League propper-uppers Portsmouth after a trial.

One player without portfolio who has got antennae twitching at Pompey is former Manchester City defender and West End musical star Michael Ball, who appears to have sparked something of a bidding war between the south coast club and Galatasaray.

Be nice ...