All the President's Emails: Sasha Obama, Vladimir Putin, Rahm Emanuel, Michelle Obama

3.23 Mon, Jul 6

To: Sasha Obama [nickjonasfan@yahoo.com]Subject: Re: Michael Jackson??

Before your time. Yes, sort of like the Jonas Brothers, but a lot more influential. And a lot more weird. (Actually I think the Jonas Brothers might have slept over at his house once.) Anyway, he was a complex guy: some people loved him and some people were really creeped out by him. And that made it a challenge for your old Dad to come up with one of his rhetorically brilliant but calculatedly inoffensive public pronouncements! I think I managed it: "Uh, yeah, obviously very talented performer, tragic personal life, and, um ... next question? Anyone? Something about healthcare? Guantanamo? My birth certificate? Anyone?" Love, Dad

To: Vladimir Putin [bigman@premier.gov.ru]Subject: Re: Your Associated Press interview, WTF???

OK, I'm sorry if you were offended by my accusing you of pursuing "cold war approaches" to Washington, and of having "one foot in the old ways of doing business and one foot in the new". Let's meet up when I'm there and make up over a few vodkas, hmm? But I gotta say - your threat to retaliate for the interview by sending medium-range ballistic missiles to Cuba, banging your shoe furiously on your desk, and secretly poisoning the American ambassador's supplies of Ferrero Rocher ... Well, I kind of feel like it proves my point? Never mind. Warmly, Barack

To: Rahm Emanuel [rahm.emanuel3@gmail.com]Subject: Natasha Bedingfield

R, how did we allow this to happen - a British singer headlining at the main Independence Day ceremonies at the Capitol? This was just *inviting* attacks from the rightwing, wasn't it? If we can't veto the Brits on 4 July, when can we? Nothing against Natasha personally - I prefer Dido, but whatever. BHO

To: Michelle Obama [firstlady@whitehouse.gov]Subject: Fw: NYTimes.com: Hazardous Lead Levels Discovered In White House's Flagship Organic Vegetable Garden

Man, this is pretty embarrassing. As you know, at sufficiently high levels, lead can trigger debilitating neurological damage. I know you said you'd caught Joe foraging among the mange tout and the carrots a couple of times. Troubling. xxB

PS. Sorry, I meant to write "freedom peas", obviously.

To: All Senate Democrats [democrats_list@senate.gov]Subject: Bipartisanship

Please do NOT touch the box of organic fruit and veg I've left outside the Senate chamber with a handwritten sign saying, "Free - please help yourself!" These are strictly for our colleagues on the Republican side of the aisle. As we work on rallying enough Senate votes to pass the clean energy act, it's crucial that we embody the spirit of generosity and bipartisanship at all times. Wishing you all a happy Independence Day, Barack